Do You See Me Now? ✔

Chapter 29 - The Confession

Saturday, November 17th

     Loek went back inside to grab a key. He closed the front door behind him, took a look on his watch and then faced Jesse, crossing his arms in a defensive manner again.

Jesse nervously shuffled a foot, nervously smiling.

"You've got 30 minutes before I need to be back," Loek told him, before he started walking towards the street. "Let's walk through the park."

"Oh, okay!" Jesse sprung into action, following Loek out of the street in silence. He had no idea how to start again. He had apologized, he had told Loek how stupid he had been. He actually voiced a sorry.

And Loek had said he was sorry for Jesse getting arrested. Apologies were done, but Jesse had no idea how to go on from there. Instead of focusing on different things, Jesse still felt like they needed to talk about what happened. Not to blame one another for little things they apologized for, but to make sure they knew why they did the things they did.

"So, why didn't you warn me about the ditch?" Jesse eventually asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. "That we needed to jump?"

"Because I didn't expect the police to find us again and I didn't think we needed to run. But I guess I should've warned you anyway." Loek shrugged, as if it wasn't that big of a deal. And maybe it wasn't. Jesse knew the risks when he tagged along. But before he could tell Loek it didn't matter anymore, Loek spoke again.

"How's your ankle these days?"

"Fine, still a bit sore. But nothing too bad."

"Good." Loek nodded as if he was pleased with Jesse's answer, and then continued to remain silent again.

"Anyway, I said I was sorry, and I mean it. I should've talked to you. But I can't help but wonder..." Jesse took a deep breath before he continued. "why didn't you call me or anything?"

"Because the day after your arrest, I came home from soccer practise, to find out people had picked up your stuff, and Mees said you didn't want to stay in contact anymore." Loek shortly turned his head to look at Jesse. "You blamed me for everything that was going on and I do agree getting arrested was probably the start of everything that happened since then. But can you really blame me?"

"No, I can't, and I stopped doing that. And to be clear, I never said anything about not wanting to be in contact. Mees must have made that up."

"Well, it wasn't just Mees who told me to stop bothering you. All of your friends said the same." Loek finally stopped walking when they got to the park. "They all told me to leave you alone because you had enough shit going on."

"Yeah, I don't know if you know, but after I got arrested, Felipe beat me up and I got community service. My ankle was fucked and... I had—I have a lot going on. But I never told anyone I never wanted to talk to you again. I was angry, yes. I told Calix you and I were done. But I think an apology would've helped with the anger a bit."

"Well, I'm sorry for not warning you about the ditch. I'm sorry you got arrested," Loek spoke softly, walking away again right afterwards. "But you really hurt my feelings by leaving the club with some hot guy right in front of me."

"I'm a free man," Jesse mumbled while he followed after Loek again. "We aren't together—"

"I don't know about you, Jesse, but to me, sleeping with someone actually means something," Loek snapped. "You really think I just slept with you for the fun of it?"

"You did say you only take home the cute ones, you know, when we just met." Jesse defended his move, knowing it had been shitty nonetheless.

"Do you really see me like a guy that just takes home cute guys after a night at work? Did you ever see me with anyone else, beside you?"