Forbidden

Part Ten

“You were a part of me, but now you’re just a memory.” -I don't Love you Anymore

Karlie's P.O.V

  Today was October, eleventh. The day after Taylor secret session had taken place, and that night I left her apartment with no guilt but the guilt of leaving Taylor.. Usually there was a guilt--or even a forced guilt for Josh, but that night there hadn't been. I left my secret lover's apartment, looked a bunch of her fans straight in the eye and pretended nothing out of the ordinary was going on. My next place to go was Josh's apartment. He had asked me to come over and spend the night since the next morning would be our two year anniversary of dating. Even if there was not even a hint of guilt for what I had done behind his back, there was something else. I won't say guilty because if I could do it all over again, I would. I guess you could say I felt sorry for him but at the same time I had become to selfish about my own feelings, I couldn't even muster up the nerve to tell him the truth. And now her I was on our anniversary, not even thinking about him but the woman four streets over, and ten blocks down. 

 "Karlie," His morning, husky voice came through and I opened my eyes. I hadn't been asleep, I had woken up that morning with the sun coming through the windows, beaming down right on my bare shoulders, and the white sheets that kept me warm and covered. I had closed my eyes to go deep in my thoughts and now he'd pulled me out of them. His hand came up my arm in the most loving, caring, and tender way until it reached my shoulder. I forced myself to give in to him, even if it meant pretending I was in love with him. I owed him that much. 

 My lips curled into a sleepy, morning smile before I pushed my self over, and rolled until I faced him. I faced the man who had never slept with another woman, had never kissed another woman, or even touched one like I had with Taylor. Granite, I'd never slept with the country music star but it didn't matter. 

 "Morning.." His voice was low and deep, something I use to look forward to, and now I had memorized and grown tired of it. 

 "Good morning.." I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. I reach my hand out and gently touch his face, something Taylor always did to me. I didn't feel anything, not even the smallest spark but I begged that it was convincing enough for him. Josh smiled and held onto my hand. There was a moment where we didn't speak, instead we just looked at each other, wondering what the other was thinking. 

 "I have something planned for us.." He finally spoke up, and by eye brows perked up, "I made reservations at your favorite place and I want you to dress up." His fingers were now intertwined with mine. I faked another smile and nodded, "I can't wait." 

---

 Dinner came faster than I had wanted it to and before I knew it I was slipping my dress over my long, tan legs. I'd dolled myself up, just as he had asked and was now staring at my own reflection back in the mirror. Thank God a girl's real feelings didn't show on the outside, as far as physical features, I thought. 

 In the blink of an eye we were there, at dinner and I was taking a seat into the chair he'd pulled out for me, because he was a gentleman. The night seemed to drag on after that, surprisingly. We talked business for a while until he caught on I had grown over the conversation. Sometimes I think he forgot it was my farther who could spend hours on hours talking about politics and business. 

 His eyes traveled down, and he tapped his foot under the table--I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for his foot hitting mine three times. 

 "Josh," I spoke up again after feeling his foot whack mine again. He apologized quickly and gave a nervous smile, only causing me to furrow my eye brows and give him the "what-has-gotten-into-you" look. "What?"

  "You..you have something, right here.." He jerked a finger right under his cheek bone and I furrowed my eye brows once again. My hand went to my face, right where he had demonstrated on his own and rubbed a few times, "How about now?"

 "--You smeared it--Just..go to the bathroom and maybe soak a paper towel or something. I think it may be makeup to something." Half of me cared about whatever smudge I'd made on my face and the other wanted to shake him until he gave me an excuse for why he'd suddenly gone nervous or whatever was wrong with him. Never the less I made a quick trip to the restroom only to find that the mark on my face wasn't there, only a red circle where I had rubbed until it had turned a light shade of pink. What's his deal? I questioned my own self before opening my clutch purse--shit, I left my phone back at the apartment. 

 A deep sigh left my chest, and I shut my eyes. Josh is not acting weird, I'm just stressed out. I repeated that to myself ten times before taking another deep breath. Before I had wanted to text Taylor, to tell her how of beat he'd begun to act but there was no one to vent to now. 

 As I returned to my seat I noticed a few people looking my way but shrugged it off. I walked back to the more private section of the restaurant where Josh and I had been sitting. A long screen, that looked as if it had been hand woven by thin shards of wood kept me from seeing what I had just walked in on before. A breath left my mouth but this time it wasn't from trying to keep myself calm, it was the wind nearly knocking out of me. My eyes traveled to everyone who had suddenly appeared; my mother, my father, my three sisters, and right in the center of it all was Josh. He was on one knee, shaking a bit as he tried to keep himself steady, and slowly he peeled back the the cap and my heart dropped.