Forbidden

Part Fourteen

Somewhere in me I found the strength the pull away from her lips, but just barely. My hands had moved from cupping her cheeks to gripping her shoulders and pushing away. I had to close my eyes to stop from looking at the beautiful blonde. When I felt her forehead press to mine I didn't move of open my eyes. In my mind I tried to figure out what the hell I was suppose to do. 

 It should have been so simple, really. Go with the one you love, the one you can't stand to be gone from long, and the one you can't forget about. It should have been that easy. Taylor should have been my first choice. I asked myself what was holding me back. Beneath the shallow idea that my parents would never approve, there was something more to it, an underlying meaning. 

 "I love you." I finally said as her fingers had interlaced with mine. She gave the inevitable response and I finally opened my eyes to look into her closed ones. She'd been thinking, probably wondering why I couldn't just pull away from what society wanted me to do over what my heart wanted.

 "How can you turn that off and on so easy?" she asked, referring to how moments ago I was aspiring eye contact, not even threatening to let her in again, and now I was a hopeless romantic lost in our own world. However the word easy was a far stretch from reality, nothing about pretending to not love someone was easy. 

 "I have to," I said softly.

 She shook her head, "You don't have to." Taylor said stubbornly, "I would have asked you to marry me if I thought it would have made you stay." A small,half smile crept on her face, and I myself couldn't help but leave her a smile at her joke.

"How can you make a joke at a time like this?" I said with another small smile and shook my head.

 "To calm my anxiety." She gave another halfhearted smile, "I just...I want to run away and never look back." I knew she meant us, she didn't need to say it. Something about actually using the word 'us' wasn't right in a situation like this. Because there was no 'us' anymore. 

  Just then the handle to the door juggled, a trick to getting the stubborn door open and a warning to us. I kissed her forehead gently before pulling away and letting my fingers slowly slip from her own.

 When Josh came in a have him a slight nod, letting him know he didn't have to stall any longer. The less he stalled the less time I had to sin right under his nose, anyways. Not that I had ever thought of Taylor as a sin, but my better half, but the moral person inside of me knew better than to skip around the burning fact that I was no exception to.

  "Your eggs are going to get cold," he broke the tension full silence before nudging over to the pan that had been carelessly pushed off it's burner. If Taylor was as observant as I hoped her not to be, she would have noticed. She might have even noticed Josh's smirk but she was too busy look anywhere but Him and me. I gave him a glare in return and he simply smiled and kissed my left temple, "Oh and Cara called last night, I meant to tell you but you fell asleep."

 And with that he was off to my bedroom, or ours, I should probably start getting to saying that. A long meeting was up for him today and I was sure he'd somehow tried gotten Cara to call me to take me out of the house. His concern for my social life had suddenly come into view for him and I had quickly brushed it of, swearing I just had been in a great mood lately. 

  "Uhm.." I looked to Taylor who stood clearly unsure of where to go next or what to say, "Stay here, we're going out--after I change." I said quickly as Taylor just nodded, knowing herself saying she had somewhere else to be would be a forced statement rather than a fact. 

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So I've had this written for a while but my muse had been lacking so I couldn't make myself add on..so I know this is SUPER short but it's all I had in my drafts. Hopefully I can find a muse soon. I miss writing. :(