Forbidden

Part Thirteen (Mature-ish)

I absolutely hate this chapter but if I don't release it I"m going to hate myself more for not updating. So...enjoy? Even though it sucks?

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Josh's voice filled the girl's ears as she stood over the burner of the stove. His hands curved around her hips until they slipped under the baggy T-shirt she wore, and to her bare stomach. The pads of his fingers traced over her abs as they stiffened up from his touch. His hands were warm, which as actually a pleasant feeling, but his touch didn't feel right, not like hers had.

"Since when did scrambled eggs call for every vegetable in the market?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as his eye scanned over the mix in the pan. His chin rest on her shoulder and she gave a weak smile, "Shut the fuck up.." She swore, her smile growing a bit more. Her hand gripped the spatchula tightened a bit as his finger dragged in light circles on her stomach, slowly moving their way up until it reached the bottom of her rib cage.

Lately things had become a matter of letting herself become of a part of whatever it was people wanted to say they were. They were a couple from the outsiders but to Karlie they were the same two people they had been since day one. Good friends with benefits who had a love for one another but not the one that would be tied in hand with marriage. She'd forced herself to give up the idea that Taylor and herself stood a chance after she'd ignored countless phone calls and text messages. The last resort was to give in, to go with everything so everything would become numb and she couldn't feel anymore. Her thoughts were stopped when she felt his moist lips suck on her sensitive skin. He slipped one hand free to take the spatula from her hand and toss it to the pan before moving the pan off the burner and pulling her back some. Even if she didn't have a feeling in the world for him above friendship there was still that lustful trigger he was able to set off.

A sharp, shaky breath left her mouth as his thumb reached her nipple and brushed over it lightly. She felt him grin against her neck and there was a sudden hatred for it yet her body hadn't rejected him. His hand cupped her breast and her head fell back on his shoulder before turning until her face buried in his neck. Josh's other hand untied the small string of her sweatpants and slipped under the grey fabric.

"Don't tease me," The blonde let out a her hot breath as she mumbled against his neck. Her entire body had risen in temperature and her mind had lost focus on anything but what his hand and fingers were capable of. Karlie bit her lower lip hard as a muffled moan sounded and she lost whatever control she had maintained before. "Oh my--" Another moan left before another sound traveled through the air. This time it wasn't Karlie or Josh but this time it was someone on the other side of the door of their apartment. When his fingers didn't come to a halt Karlie's own hand quickly grabbed his through her sweat pants and she breathed out, "Go get the door." She pulled at his arm until he slipped out. When he reluctantly pulled away she stole herself away to her bedroom to regain her self control. Something she didn't care if she had if she was about to live the rest of her life playing the game she was expected to play for Josh, the media, and even herself. Honestly, everything seemed to just happen, like she was standing there and everything just happened, and she had lost control of it all.

"Karls," Josh's voice came through, breaking her train of thought. The girl sighed before taking in a big breath. She was in no condition to talk to anyone, "Hey, Karls!"

"Yeah, coming--one second." She quickly tied the the string around her sweat pants back and tried to ignore the, now uncomfortable situation between her legs. When she finally walked out her eyes were quickly to fix upon the shorter blonde who had just made company to her apartment. It was bittersweet to see her standing there, looking just as hopeless as she had been the night she left her parents house.

"Can I talk to you..alone..just for a minute?" Her voice didn't give any hint of what she wanted to talk about but in all honesty, for Karlie, it didn't need to.

"Uhm.." Karlie looked to Josh, who stood just behind the younger blonde and he nodded.

"Actually I left something in the car last night that I've been meaning to go get." He quickly spoke up, figuring there was a "girl problem" situation going on and the last thing he wanted to do was be apart of it.

Karlie's P.O.V.

When the door shut I silently cursed myself but my eyes stayed fixed on Taylor.

"I didn't know he.." She gestured towards the door, " Would have come if I knew.." She said quietly and even in a slight tone of being sorry.

"No," I waved it off, "Don't worry about it. We just woke up." My voice trailed off as she took at few steps closer. She was getting closer by the second and I knew I should have stepped back but I didn't--I couldn't. She took another few quick steps towards the end until she was in my arms, just like old times. Her arms were wrapped my neck and my arms managed to quickly wrap themselves around her slim waist. The only hesitation had come from not wanting to bring back the feelings I got with her. I had grown numb to my life and feelings lately and part of me found it rather bittersweet.

"I miss you," She spoke up, her words seeming out of the blue, but I knew she'd been thinking on them for some time, "I miss you so much." I thought she was going to break down right there but she held her composure, and looked down for only a few seconds before looking back up.

Now wasn't the time to be having this conversation, but when would it be? As long as the rock on my finger stayed put, the time to have our conversation would never exist. I couldn't even tell her I missed her even if I did, even if she was what I put so much effort in trying to forget about. Even if the tears I spent letting out hurt, and the feelings for her ached more, I couldn't say it. Saying that would be admitting to myself that I'm in denial, and that I don't have to love someone just because it's "right". And loving someone--someone you really love isn't "wrong" either. Her blue orbs pleaded me and I couldn't do it. I quickly tore my gaze away from hers and with no time at all she had grown desperate to have something from me, to feel something from me. The blonde tore across what little space was left and I knew I had been better off suffering from her sad eyes when her lips crashed on mine. She knew I couldn't turn away. I might have been controlled enough to look away but I did have near enough self discipline when it came to her.