Depression Saga: The Crystal Shards.

1.2

Kenzie Mitchell, Boston Massachusetts, 08/31/2012

"You really need to tell me everything that happens, you know that, don't you?" I heard Jake's voice at my back.

I was happy to hear Jake's voice. For the first time, he is showing real interest in me, I mean, we're going to be a couple, right?

I just told him that the nightmares were back; the same nightmares that have been haunting me since I can remember.

A razor blade passes through my arm, cutting it, the process repeats multiple times in both arms. A throaty voice that comes out from my mouth is saying something that I can't recognize, even when it's becoming clearer to me time after time. And I don't know why, but my brunette caramel hair is dyed in black, while my green eyes now are darker, and for the look in my face, I'm not into something good.

"They're nothing but nightmares," I said to myself, I've been saying that mantra every time that shivers ran through my back.

Jake frowned. "I know that they're just nightmares, I just want to know why you have them so often."

"I don't know," I said while covering my face with my hands, "maybe I've mental issues." I smiled, showing my future boyfriend my tooth.

"That's for sure," he smirked, making me open my mouth in surprise, and to put a hand in my chest pretending to be offended.

"What if I have mental issues and the only thing you do about it, is making fun out of me?"

Jake put his left hand on the table and offered me his right hand. "Then come with me, and I'll take you to a psychiatrist if that is what you want."

Maybe he was right. But later, I realize that it was a bad idea, how am I supposed to tell someone else that all my problems came for nightmares that I can't control? I feel weak and stupid, and terribly alone. How much I wished that I could talk with someone about this without being treated like a scared person.

"You don't have to," I said avoiding looking into his dark blue eyes, "they'll be gone in some months; maybe I won't have them today." I lied; they will stay with me, forever.

"Probably they're caused because what Debbie did to you, and that's how your brain re-interprets it."

Although when Cassidy came to collect me from Debbie's house, they indeed disappeared. I could hardly remember my other dreams, but the nightmares were gone.

"It might be a probability," suggested Emma, standing in the corner of the kitchen, eating a peach, and a sweet smile is in her face. She's happy almost all the time, completely opposite to her brother.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," I said sitting down on a chair, trying to cover my face with my shaking hands. "I can't bear it. When did you get here?"

A helpful hand leans on my shoulder. "Calm down Kenzie," Jake whispers, "it's alright."

Alright? How could this possibly be alright? Until this evening, only Cassidy and Jake knew about my nightmares, and now I also have to share it with Emma? What if she tells the others? I know that they're going to make fun out of me. I can't trust them; I can only trust Jake and Cassie.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered with the gaze on the floor, clearly ashamed of herself. "I didn't mean to interrupt, I only wanted a peach, and grab a glass with water for Mara." She walked until she kneeled in front of me. "But I'll keep my mouth shut, you have my word."

I was visibly relieved to see Emma leaving the room. Once again, I could feel my blood running back into my veins.

"Are you feeling better?" asked Jake.

"A bit." To take his mind out of my existent paranoia of his sister sharing my nightmares, I quickly went right on. "I wanted to know if we can share room today, I mean, during our sleepover, you know, we can't sleep outside, well, if you want, we can..." I blushed to try to hide it with more and more words, but I only made it worse.

Jake laughed some noise that I've only heard a few times since I knew him. "Kenzie, we've been sleeping in the same bed since always. When Cassidy's mom invited us to slumber parties we slept together, Emma and Cady, and you with me."

Suddenly, I wished that Emma had stayed; it was less embarrassing to think that she might be able to tell my secret to everyone than facing this situation with Jake.

"What does that mean?" I whispered. I couldn't even hear my voice. But apparently like Jake could.

For a few seconds, we stared into each other's eyes, and I suddenly felt numb, as if a train had suddenly hit me and was running over me because that's how love works: you don't feel it coming. And even when I already liked him, I could tell that at this moment, I was sure that I'm in love with him.

"Youcan sleep in my bed," said Jake in a soft voice, and now, there were definitelyred spots on his cheeks.