Words from my heart

Getting My Wish (No Joy)

I finally have gotten what I wanted

But I'm still not filled with joy

I'm constantly reminded of what happened

Like life's just set out to annoy

I can still feel his hands on my throat

Tightening every time I screamed

All I could do was cry and respond

Hoping it was just a dream

Everyday I feel the pain

The memory forever burned into my mind

I don't even want to know why he couldn't control his rage

I may not like the answers that I find

Day after day I hold my throat

Gently pressing a hand to my back

Flinching at the simple touch

It brings back painful memories of the attack

Even when I don't think about it

The images are always there

I wish they would go away

Remembering the pain is more than I can bear

I was told that he apologized

That he really broke down

He cried at the memories of what he did

But I still made not one sound

I've thought about this day for years

The day when he is finally forced to go

But I have no joy at all from this knowledge

And the reason why is one I really don't know