Words from my heart

I'm sick of it all

I'm sick of living here

Sick of living in fear

Thinking when I speak my mind someone will hear

Listen to the horrid things that I think of everyday

Some of it so bad it would drive people away

But don't judge me

I am who I am

It's about what I am now

Not who I'll turn out to be

Or maybe it should be about who I'll turn into

Maybe I'll be a normal person

Or a person not worthy to be seen by you

The person staring into space in a corner

Broken beyond repair in both heart and mind

Thoughts so twisted and a happiness no one can find

I'm sick of being  scared to live

Scared of life

I'm tired of editing my thoughts

I'm tired of hurting over every nightmare sleep has brought

Tired of living

Tired of death

Tired of struggling

For every last breath

Fighting to stay sane

Fighting for sanity and music to calm my brain

Music to calm my heart

Let's not even start

I'm sick of life tearing me apart

Needing them to listen

Of course no one would

Needing someone to help me pick myself up

I've heard excuses that no one could

Why won't they attempt to listen?

A few people have done it before

Is it because they don't care?

Or do they want me to hurt more?

Do they want me to become less than I am?

Do they want to see me shatter?

It's like they want to see me broken and battered

Broken beyond repair

I don't want anymore pain to bear

Even though I love my life

It hurts me and causes pain like a knife

I'm sick of that too

Don't the people who hurt me have better stuff to do?

I can't stand to get hurt again

To be hurt in this world of man woman and man

But I must push on

Deal with everything and everyone I hate

Push through the annoyance

Of family asking me if I ate

Though I'm sick of this world

And mostly everyone in it too

For the people who love and care about me

Just for them I will push through