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I have read MANY bmw books & fics in general that have too many big or fancy words. It's something I used to do (I still do sometimes) it wasn't until recently that I realized how unnecessary it is. I've read fanfics that look like every word has been changed using a thesaurus. It's awesome to use a complex vocabulary, but OVERUSE is what I'm talking about. It's to the extent that readers cannot understand what's going on.
I've provided a great example of what I'm talking about. Have fun reading.
I traced my clammy fingers along the penetrable surface of the school door. Sweat lined down my cheeks, and cascaded merrily down my face like a necromantic plume of my pet pigeon, Gareth.
My heart surpassed my teeth which chattered berserkly to the beat of my favorite song, "Señorita" by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello. The doors in front of me beckoned me to enter the school, just like a newfangled pool on a sweltering summer's day. I couldn't resist.
My body heated up as I saw Shawn Hunter, pottering prodigiously with an equanimous demeanor. It was enthralling. Especially the way his russet barnet fell over his captivating eyes, like a pulchritudinous pendulous excrescence.
The atmosphere was now too capacious. My body felt like it had been occluded by a swarm of migrating albatrosses that have just distinguished a flying fish. My senses heightened as I leaned closer to him. I closed my eyes and nosedived into an ocean of caliginous benignity.
His aroma resonated a deep vehemence inside my esophagus, making me gasp. "Dab with me," he whispered; his malleable ventilation was like asmr videos I watch on my Nintendo DS. Except, this had a more vertiginous impact on my immune system.
"Okay," I replied, my physiognomy full of ecstasy. And that is how I died. As I dabbed, my nostrils whomped against my arm like a hungry raccoon. My body fell to the ground and I died. The last thing I heard was James Charles' ravishing singing. Womp womp womp. Yeah yeah yeahh.
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ERRORS
1) I purposely put as many unnecessary words as possible. e.g Especially the way his russet barnet fell over his captivating eyes, like a pulchritudinous pendulous excrescence. Like what the hell does that even mean? Why couldn't you just say that 'his hair draped over his eyes'? It doesn't make sense either.
2) The use of similes that don't even fit with what you're talking about; e.g) My nostrils whomped against my arm like a hungry raccoon. Even though I made that up, fanfictions still have the weirdest comparisons.
BIG WORDS PUT OFF READERS. If you use to many, readers will have no clue what's going on. In my example, literally what the hell is going on. Even though I embedded humor into it, you get the idea. There needs to be a balance. I used to think every sentence needed to be complex in order for the story to be good. They don't.
