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i think we all think too much, so of course you're gonna have to write a lot of thoughts in your fanfics. a character's thoughts (as well as dreams and flashbacks) can actually be hard and confusing to write. you can write thoughts directly or indirectly. we're gonna cover writing direct thoughts first.
direct thoughts are what the characters are thinking right at the moment. they're basically the voice in your head; something people can't say out loud. when you write direct thoughts, please put them into italics. that way, you don't have to keep saying "she thought" "i thought" every time you write what someone thinks.
OKAY As I was putting my textbooks into my locker, I happened to glance to my right and saw Jack Hunter standing outside the entrance of the hall, looking right at me.
Shit. We made eye contact.
I quickly looked away, hoping he didn't notice. I waited a few seconds before slowly looking back in his direction again, moving just my eyes this time. I could see him walking towards me.
Oh God. He's coming.
I hid my face behind my locker door and continued to put away the rest of my books.
Walk past me. Please just walk right past me.
"Addison?" a very familiar voice asked, just right beside me.
Damn it.
I peeked from behind my locker door and saw Jack standing there.
NOT OKAY I heard the restaurant bell chiming. I looked up and saw Eric walking in.
"He actually came," I thought.
Eric looked all around the restaurant, trying to find me.
"Should I call out to him?" I thought, "Or should I just wait for him to see me?"
Suddenly, Eric's eyes met mine and he smiled as soon as he saw me.
"His smile is so cute," I thought.
Eric made his way to the table I was waiting at.
"Here he comes," I thought.
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guys, PLEASE stop saying "thought" every damn time you write what someone is thinking!!!!! it's fine if you do it just once but honestly there's no need to write it at all when writing direct thoughts. just put it in italics. i'm not saying to stop using the word completely, but just know seeing it so many times can get annoying. also when you write about dreams or flashbacks, i recommend writing the whole thing in italics as well, just so people don't confuse the dream or flashback with reality or the present.
and keep in mind when you write direct thoughts, please give as little details as possible. do not make it overly descriptive. too many details will annoy or bore readers.
OKAY Why was Cory smiling at me like that?
NOT OKAY Why was Cory looking at me all the way from the other side of the room, flashing me a huge yet beautiful smile? He looks so nervous but his eyes sure are sparkling!
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indirect thoughts are different. these do not have to be in italics and you can use the word thought (but not too many times!!!) this one is more descriptive and can go in between what they think and feel. it also involves more emotions.
EXAMPLE I don't know why I broke up with Nick. Thinking back, it was probably because I was so afraid of losing him to another girl. But what if he actually meant it when he said I was the one for him? My heart hurt at the thought of how I must've made him feel. I was never going to forgive myself for ruining what was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
both ways are great to portray a character's thoughts, so you should use them both equally to balance things out and mix the story up a little!
