DOUBLE EDGED A Harper's Book. (Book 10)

String Of Hope

What if everything you've been told, came to believe suddenly meant nothing? You battled yourself everyday trying to understand and make sense of it. You held out trusting in hope and praying for a miracle but in the deep valley's of your mind you knew she would never return.

You knew you'd never hear that infectious laugh again or feel the warmth only her arm's could offer. Never would you nestled your nose in the crook of her neck and inhale her scent or taste the cherry bomb lip gloss on her lips as she kissed you. Yes, I know my baby doll is dead but even still I hold on to hope. I pray that I wake up to discover it was just a dream. One hell of a nightmare.

Truth be told, when I'm alone in my apartment I talk to her. I break down and beg God to take me. Sure, I put on airs in front of my children. I act as if I'm dealing with it normally but behind closed doors I go insane. Many time's I've held my gun to my head or rigged my belt as a hanging device. Life without her here is not a life worth living. The only thing that stops me is my children's face. They've been through so much lately that it wouldn't be fair to put them through more. Besides they still need me but I hate how they all try to keep me under their thumb as if I'm fragile now. I am broken but I'm far from fragile.

My heart is broken.

My body is broken.

My soul is broken.

Heart, body and soul is broken.

But my monster could never break. He's still there lurking behind the curtain of my eye's waiting to emerge. Waiting for the right time and I do believe he has been evoked....

Since my phone was shot from my hand a strangeness has overtaken me. An old memory resurfaced that I can't shake.

"London Harper put down that damn phone. You are on my time right now and I demand your utmost attention"

"Okay babydoll, just give me a sec. It's business" .

Click.

I looked up into the barrel of her shiny gun. "The fuck babydoll?"

" you have less than a second to put that phone away or it goes boom".

"Shit. Let me call you back. Seems I have a rather large problem on my hands".

Disconnecting, Laney jerked my phone from my hands and tossed it aside. Patting the couch space beside of her she smiled with satisfaction. "Sit London. Let's watch The Vow together".

Rolling my eye's, I complied. But this wasn't the first or the last time that she threatened to shoot my phone from my hands. Often she joked and said that my phone was my mistress and I loved it more than her.

I just find it strange how my phone was blown out of my hand yesterday. Was it just a coincidence? A fluke? Or is the ache in my heart deceiving my mind into believing that it might have been her? Fuck, I'm one giant ball of crazy right now.

Finally Demarco called to inform me that the surveillance footage had streamed through. Making my way to the Den, I entered the office. "Have you viewed it yet?" I asked.

" Yep, but I didn't catch anything out of the ordinary ".

Nodding e, I turned the screen toward me and instructed him to hit play. For long minutes I watched people going about the normal everyday activity. Nothing struck me as off or suspicious. I then viewed myself walking out of the restaurant with my phone in my hand. I was smiling at a text that my granddaughter Demy had sent me right before my phone disintegrated. I saw my men fly into action as passerby's scurried away. Nothing, nothing at all indicated a shooter. "Do we have any footage of the bar across the road?"