Hate Me Now

Chapter 19

East ^^^

Karina

" So what can I do for you ? " He asked me . I watched him closely , trying to read his body language . I felt like I was about to pass out . The amount of anxiety building up was enough to make me back out & run out right here right now .

" Uhhh I'm sorry , can I use the bathroom please ? " I said my voice already shaky . There was no way I could continue through this conversation . One part of me thought I was ridiculous for this . And the other part was telling me to suck it up and do what I need to do .

" Yeah it's on the left right outside my door " He said squinting at me .

" Lani come with me " I said grabbing her wrist . I peeped her & Melo exchange a look , probably thinking I'm crazy but I continued out the door dragging her into the bathroom with me .

" Hey hey what's wrong ? " Lani asked me patting my back as I put my face in my hands .

I wasn't crying . I didn't want to cry I just needed to take a deep breath and figure out how I was gonna approach this . My mother would be so disappointed in me if she saw me right now . But I'm trying my best .

Regardless , I knew I couldn't handle this . I knew I wasn't built for this . But I knew who was . And at this point , it was the only way this could work because I was a second away from scurrying out of here .

" Lani I need you to slap me " I blurted out . This could work .

" What ? " She said backing up .

" You have to slap me " I said . " I can't go out there if you don't slap me "

" Oh okay I see what you need " She said . She lightly tapped my face " Get your head in the game " She said giggling .

" No it has to be a real slap Alani I'm serious " The one time I needed to be angry .... I couldn't make it happen .

" I'm not slapping you that hard Karina " She said seriously .

I sighed in frustration & turned around to stare at myself in the bathroom mirror .

" Come on come on " I whispered to myself . " Okay fine just go back in and stall Melo " I said .

" Fine " She said then leaving . I locked the door behind her thinking of what to do now .

I tapped my face hard on both sides trying to make it hot . I rubbed my cheeks creating friction and for a split second I thought it was working until my phone buzzed in my pocket throwing me off .

I pulled my phone out seeing it was a picture from Kaine . He must've took Kade to dairy queen cause they both had ice cream on their nose with their eyes crossed in the picture . It warmed my heart .

But it also reminded me why I was here . I sent a laughing emoji with a heart then tucked my phone back in . This is exactly why I was here . For Kade . For the sake of him having a normal yet fair childhood .

I picked back up on what I was doing thinking about everything that angered me . Trump , those ICE workers , Jess , everything that made me want to rage . My face got hotter & hotter as the rest of my body followed suit .

Next thing I know I'm sitting right back in front of Melo looking him in the eyes .

" Sorry about that . Where were we ? " I asked .

" You were about to tell me what you need " He said now smoking a blunt himself .

" Right . I'm sure Lani already told you tho . I need quick cash . And you need to sell drugs . I think we can both benefit from each other " I spoke . I could feel Lani burning a hole in the side of my face with her gaze .