“Maddie.” I turned around wiping the tears from my cheeks when Vicky wrapped me in her arms. Over her shoulder Josh and the guys came into the room, shutting the door softly behind them and granting me the moment alone with my cousin.
“I’m so sorry, Maddie. Are you sure?” I nod against her shoulder, because I had no courage to say it in words. It just makes it harder than it already is. Vicky lets go, wiping away her own tears before she join the guys at the edge of Taylor’s bed. I meant every word earlier. She’s hurting, I could feel it deep in my bones, burning like a wildfire beneath my skin. She deserves better than to be laying in this bed, in pain, knowing we are out here patiently waiting for that last piece of hope. But that started to fade as the hours turned into days and every last piece of hope shreds into pieces. Deep down I know Josh feels guilty for not being able to get to know this precious gift of ours better than these past months he has spent making up for every last moment, but I can’t blame him for anything. I love him too much and it scared me to death that after we switch of this machines that he will fade into the darkness, leaving me in the shell I slowly start to build up again as every second ticks closer to the final goodbye. Charlie was the first one to sit down on the bed beside her. Grabbing onto her hand and kissing it.
“Who’s my favorite niece in the entire world?” I hear him ask her as if he expects her to answer, but he only smiles when he started to talk. I have known Charlie for almost as long as I have known Josh and I have never ever seen this emotional side of him he hides beneath layers of confidence.
“You baby girl… Listen, I know you’re hurting and God know the hole you’re going to leave in my heart and the words I am telling you now I have only told one person in my entire life, my baby brother, your daddy. I love you Taylor. Put a good word in for me to the Big Guy, okay? Remember to fly, for me…” I was hard to keep quiet as sobs tears from my body while Drew sat down next. Josh was next to me in seconds, holding me as each one of them took a turn to say goodbye.
“Taylor, Taylor. I know you don’t know me well since I’ve been away most of the time these past months. I know for a fact that there wasn’t a day these past ten years I’ve know your daddy, that he didn’t miss you and your mum. You’re the luckiest girl in the world to have so many people loving you for the brilliant and beautiful girl you are. I will never forget you as long as I live…” Vicky was up next. Or I think it is. It’s hard to see through the blur of my tears.
“Sweet pea… I don’t know what to say. I remember when I first held you in my arms. You were just the tiniest thing I have ever seen. That’s when I knew that you would be a fighter. You fought every day of your life and I understand that there will come a day when it all becomes too much. There is still so much I wanted to teach you. I dream about you dancing beside me one day to the music of these silly men you call your uncles and your daddy. But I promise you this. One day when I am old and grey I will tell the tale of a sweet but beautiful girl named Taylor and that when I meet you again I will dancing along with you in cotton fields. I love you, Taylor forever and always…” Vicky hugs Taylor’s body, pressing a sweet kiss to her head, before moving over to give Ezra a chance to say goodbye.
“I want to tell you something, Taylor. When I was six years old I lost my baby brother, he had Leukemia…He was only three years old, but he lived every day at his fullest even though he was too young to understand it. It left a hole in my heart and over the years I have patched up that hole with anything I could find, but getting to know you now and knowing the things you are leaving behind only confirm the life you have lived and the people who come to love you that you’re the bravest person I ever got to know and will remain so forever so…” Josh pulls me closer as he gets ready for his turn. He hold onto me for support, his body shaking and I cried even harder than before.
“I don’t think I will ever be able to say goodbye and there is so much I still want to do and say, but for now I want you to know that for fourteen years I have only written songs with you mum in mind, but I promise you the next thousand will be all about you. I promise to love you every day of my life. I promise to miss you every moment in between. I promise I will always keep strong end remember the strength you have given me. I promise to love your mum with every fiber in my body, through the good and the bad. I promise, I promise. I love you with all of my heart…” Josh remained where he say and pulled me onto his lap so we can hold onto her still warm hand together.
“The moment I felt your heart beat inside of me I knew that I had to have you, no matter the situation I was in with no memory. But I do remember every moment since the day I held you for the first time. I promised I will love you and I intend to keep that promise until the day I take my last breath. We’ve been through tears and laughter, good and bad time and every second was worth it, because it I had you. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know my love for you and your dad will never waver. I miss you already, my love. I love you to the moon and back…” There wasn’t a dry tear in the room and I closed my eyes and picture her smile. The color of her eyes and everything that made her, her. I picture the moment I first held her in my arms. Her first birthday and her second until I get to her last when she ask me if she would ever get to meet her daddy. Little did she know that her wish was about to become true. I remember the moment I open my eyes in that fateful hospital bed and remembering everything. The pain, the love I always wished for. Giving birth to her sat me on the course of a journey of a lifetime with her as the center. My center. The one person I could always count on. My best friend. My daughter.
“I’ll go tell the doctor we’re ready.” I whisper in his ear, but before I got up I looked up into his blue eyes and ask him the most important question of my entire life.
“We are ready, are we?” He closes his eyes.
“I’ll never be ready.” He says before he opened his eyes again. A silent confirmation of his thoughts and mine. The slow track towards the door took every piece of strength that was left in my body. I could feel my body trembling, a slow darkness sweeping in beneath my eyelids. With my hand on the door knob I look back at him one last time. For a moment the world stood still and that’s when I accepted it. She will always be among the ones that loves her the most on planet earth and somehow I knew we would survive. It will be okay. I twisted the knob, opening the door and walked into a body filling the frame. I look up at the familiar tired and battered
brown eyes of Dr. Hendrickson. White noise filled by ears as I struggle to understand the next words leaving his mouth before everything went black and I fall into the crowd, into Josh’s arms. Where we belong…
“Madison, from this moment on Taylor is the recipient of a new heart. She’s getting a chance, to live…”
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Into the Crowd. ✔
RomantizmCOMPLETED He is about to get the surprise of his life... Ten years ago, Josh Boweman lost the love of his life in a terrible car accident, pregnant with his child. So he threw away the one thing that made sense, his love of music. But as the year...
