Firefly (Short Stories)

Trailing away

She felt his fingers sweep lightly across her bare arm, pulling down her strap, tracing his fingers on her collarbone. His thumb coming to rest against her jaw, his fingers grazing her neck lightly. His touch was tantalizing, overpowering her senses. She closed her eyes hazily, feeling the back and forth flick of his thumb across her cheek. A flush spread over her skin, teasing her flesh, feeling every contact uncurbed, unruly. She felt warm in his presence, she felt her body relax. Losing all her restraints.

She loved the way he touched her, the way he traced every part of her body with utmost admiration, preserving her integrity to the fullest. She was at ease in his arms, she could feel the restrain in his delicate touch, making sure that nothing came across, too harsh, too soon, too fearful. She wanted to give herself completely to him, without any walls, without a taste of regret, without the weight of being unhappy.

She inhaled a sharp breath feeling his thumb inch closer to run across her lower lip, she quivered under his gaze. He pulled her closer to his chest. She could feel his want and need as she straddled his lap. He trailed his other hand up and down her back to calm her nerves, to assure her that nothing was going to happen against her will.

She leaned in, placing her lips in a soft pace against his, sending a warm ache humming through her veins. She curled her arms around his neck, drowning her permission with every reverence her kiss could magnify. The lingering trail of passion intensified with every flick of her tongue against his, an unsettling ache coursed through her body. She fisted her fingers in his hair feeling his fingers graze lightly underneath her top, burning her skin with every circle he drew on her flesh, his featherlight touch tampering her nerves, making her warmer with a trail of Goosebumps all over skin.

She shuddered pulling back her hands to rest against his chest, his hard panels making her moan. He lifted her top over her head and trailed open mouth kisses all over her neck, she closed her eyes curling her lower lip in her mouth feeling heavily sedated by his mouth. She pulled his t-shirt over and wrapped her legs tightly around him, he cupped her face and went back to feast on her mouth.

He pulled her over, placing her gently on the mattress without breaking the kiss. His body hovered above hers, her legs no longer wrapped around him but under him. She felt his finger sweep down her neck coming to rest against her sternum, her bra felt tighter with every inch of his fingers getting close to relieve them, she gasped making his finger stop abruptly from moving any closer to where she wanted. She felt him withdraw, leaving her aching lips and feeling his body move a little higher from her body, his arms coming to rest beside her.

She fluttered her eyes open to look at him, she found him starring down at her, studying her face closely, his eyes shooting across a million questions. She could feel the lack of assurance he felt by her movements, it was not his fault, her stories were too deep to cut through, every thought that ate her mind made him bulldoze over every move and every word more rigorously then he would in a normal relation, but she wasn't normal, her life wasn't marred as a fairy tale.

She needed him now more than ever to assure herself, that she wasn't weakened off by the one thing that she thought belonged to her, hers to keep, hers to share with the one she wanted, the one she loved.

She brought her palm up, cradling his face with a steeled look penetrating her eyes. He moved further, resting his forehead against hers not wanting to break eye contact. She looked deeply at him for a heartbeat or two to make him realise that she was ready, she pulled his face down leaving a trail of chaste kiss from his forehead, to his eyes, to his nose, to his cheeks and finally sealed her mouth over his, in a slow tendering kiss.

She trailed her palm down his face, teasing his taut body until she found the button of his jeans and undid them, she could feel him ease back into her with the change of pace in the kiss they shared. She undid her bra hook and pulled it aside wanting the warmth of his chest against hers, his fingers trailed down her curves and dipped into the waistband of her skirt making her moan with a thrill shooting throughout her body. He caught hold of her skirt and slid it off her, leaving her panties on, she pushed his jeans down with her feet until they were left dangling on his ankle, leaving him in his boxers.

She wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him down until she felt the friction of his body against hers, her heartbeat drilling on a new saga leaving her entire body hot and wanting. She felt his lips all over her, doing magical stuff, making her stiff body go limp with every teasing manoeuvre. She felt ecstasy wrap around her timid mind, shooting out words of pain and pleasure all at once.

She felt her fear crawl back up her mind the moment she felt his hard tip against her opening. She looked up the ceiling wanting to eradicate every thought. She closed her eyes hoping to feel the moment without a picture of someone else doing things she couldn't fathom about come to light. She wanted a clean picture, a clean beginning, a clean sexual experience without the taunting images of her ten-year-old self being used uncannily by her own as a purpose for release.

She always thought they were fragments of her imagination but as she grew up those images felt more real, more toxic with every moment she spent with that being, his act settling a bitter taste down her throat with every lingering smile he left on for her. She felt disgusted by the way he behaved like nothing ever happened, like he never played with her the way a boy shouldn't. He made her feel insecure about herself, her body, her sanity. She tried not to think of those images, of those moments but shutting her eyes only bought back those memories more hauntingly.

She felt strong arms lift her body and wrap around her in a stronghold, she felt the back of her head being caressed, she calmed and opened her eyes feeling her face glistening with moisture. She was crying without any lividity, she looked up and seen his face, his eyes held sorrow and worry, she had broken down once again and yet here he was wrapped around her nursing her back while he could easily walk off the room, break up with her and ease in to a better, healthy relationship with another girl.

But, he didn't.

He never left her; he always stayed no matter how much he had to give up just to be with her. She breathed out a shaky breath and wrapped her arms tightly around him, resting her head against his chest. She felt bad for never being able to sexually please him, no matter how many times she tried, today was supposed to be the final break but, she ended up ruining it for him, for them. She felt him kiss the back of her head longingly, she closed her eyes gingerly letting a few more drops roll down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry"

Two words. That's all she could say but those two words held a lot more meaning, and she knew that he understood. He lifted her face, kissing her lips lightly, he told her that he didn't care about himself, all he cared about was her and her happiness. He kissed her again, sealing an unspoken promise. But she wasn't sure if it was okay, if she would ever be a complete person for him, one who doesn't freak out with every touch her boyfriend lays on her. She wanted him to be happy, to keep him happy, but for now all her actions and emotions were trailing away.

THE END