Grins & Tears

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Sorry for the late update. This is the backstory of Hanji. The whole thing is from hanji's perspective. Things are gonna go quickly and lots of timeskip. Hope you guys can catch up.

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Today's school was as usual. Teachers come and go. Saying the same shit all the frigging time. Damn....even I can get bored. I averted my eyes from the black board and started doodling on my bench. I draw my imaginary character. My other classmates say it looks like a Yeti. But I named it Titan. The first moment I told them, they all started to laugh. Thats when the bullying started. No one never really got along with me. At first it was really sad. But I got used to it. It wasnt a new thing anyway. I draw my favourite character, Attack Titan. I was lost in my own world then suddenly I realized the whole classroom was talking. Girls were giggling and all those shit. I raised my head and looked ahead. Searching for something that I missed during class. There he was. A ravenette. New boy who just moved into town. He transfared to our school in the middle of the year. The whole school was into rackas due to his arrival. I looked at him and was met with his piercing silver eyes. He was standing infront of the class, a scowl on his pretty face.

He looked at me and my bemused face. Then suddenly spoke up....

''I'll be sitting there.''

Everyone snapped their head toward me, muttering ''seriously'' and ''that titan freak?''

The sit beside me always remained empty cause nobody wanted to sit with a freak as myself. He came toward me and sat there. Muttering some words that only I could make out....

''Dont make me regret this.''

And just like that, I knew I met the most sweetheart person in this sinful world.
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It was during our senior year in high school. Levi met a freshman. He dragged Levi here and there. But to my surprise, he never complained. As long as I can remember, levi aint a social being. He hardly feels anything. He never smiles or shows any emotion. But somehow we got along. We were outcasts in our school. Nobody wanted me and nobody was wanted by him.

But this particular boy broke into Levi's dark world. As if he was a welcomed intruder. Eren huh? Better keep an eye on him....
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''I dont know Hanji. Is it really that kind of thing?''

''Dont call it 'that kind of thing' stupid. Its called love.''

''Lo-love? How come you are so sure?''

''Oh c'mon shorty. Doesnt your heart race at the sight of him? Dont you wanna talk with him all the time? Wasnt it you who told me that you always wanna see him smiling? Think shorty think''

''Well, I do wanna be with him. Its kinda....I dunno.....comforting maybe?''

''No its not. Its pure love you are feeling now. You finally feeling  something! Finally you are in love, Levi''

''I....am in.....love? With Eren?''

''Yes, yes you are idiot. Good lord! I am so happy for you Levi!''

Of course I'm happy. I just want levi to be normal. He is full of darkness. And I believe that Eren can bring some light into it. And I'll make sure of ot.

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''Levi....what have you done?''

''She was after my Eren. MY EREN. This whore......she had to die...''

Of course I was terrified at his behaviour. But right now I have to help him cover his crime.
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''Levi calm down....''

''But...but why?.....he wont talk to to me ....... hanji.....he told me to go away......''

''He is just upsate Levi. Cause you literrary fu- I mean confessed to him out of nowhere. Hey..... why dont you give him some time to come around?''

Oh no this is bad. Levi really doesnt know what love is. Because you need to be loved first to understand it yourself. Levi never got to experince it beforehand. He is gonna destroy everything. Shit... shit....shit....what should I do?
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''Eren.....Eren.....Eren.....''

''Levi...stop it....he is dead.. ''

''He seperated me...from him...my Eren.....''

Levi......what have you done? No.... what have I done? This wasnt supposed to happened. Where did it all go wrong? Levi....I tried to help you.....I tried to make you a human...but looks like I turned you into a bigger monster. Something worse than before. I looked at him, he was continuasly stabbing the corpse beneath him. His eyes like midnight storm.

I went toward him and grab a hold of his bloody hand. He looked me in the eye. And all I could see was pain. He used to be a dead person. But Eren came into his life and made it bright. What I alone couldnt do.

I saw Levi cry for the first time. But then it hit me. Levi was crying. That means there's still a human living inside that body. He just never got the chance to express it. Eren.........

Eren.....you have to come back.

I embraced levi into a tight hug. He was panting heavily.

''Hey shorty, what if I say that I'll bring Eren back to you?''

He tightened his grip around me. He rose his up facing me. He looked like a hopeless child who got seperated from his mother. That child who got lost in the woods.

''Levi...I promise you today. I'll bring Eren back to you. No matter what the cost is.''

Levi's lips trembled.

''Why would you go to such lengths? For me? Why?''

Levi straightened up. ''What am I to you, hanji?''

I gave him an obvious look. I smiled a sad smile at him.

''Do you remember the first day we met at middle school? That day you left everyone just to sit with me. A freakshow like me. That day you asked me not to make you regret your choice.''

''You see levi, ever since I was born, I found myslf alone. I dnt remember my parents. I have literrar no one in this sinful world. But you levi, you came to me and gave me a place to belong. In your dark empty heart. I know we are not like other regular friends and that shit. But you are the one and only friend and family I have.''

''That's why no matter what you do or wherever you go. O want to support you. I wanna be someone you can rely on. I wanted you to share your darkness with me. And you did. You dont know happy it made me. I wanna help you levi. Cause in this world, you are my everything. You are the reason that I'm still alive. You give me a purpose. The only thing you ever asked of me, not to make you regret of being with me. I intend to fullfill it.''

A droplet of memory rolled down my cheek. Levi just sat there. His eyes wide open. Then he spoke up.

''Hanji....I cant live without him...''

''I know. Thats why I m gonna bring him back to you. I'll complete your life. Trust me.''

Saying it I flashed a wild grin. The house was already on fire. But we didnt care. We just sat there on the bloody floor. Our eyes locked to each other with promise hidden beneath them.

''Hanji,do me another favour.''

I gave him a questioning look.

''Always keep that flashy grin of yours. It suits you.'' Saying it he flashed his own little smile.

I obliged and grinned again.
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This is us. This is how we are. This is how we always were. This is the story of me and levi. There is no name to our relation. Some people say we are secret lovers. Some say we are friends with benefits. But only we know what we really are. This is our world, our kingdom, our secret. We share the same lonliness. We are the outcasts of this society. I know what we are doing is wrong and crazy. But as long as we get to keep ourselves together, its totally fine. Cause thats how we are.......


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