Hanahaki heart (country humans fanfiction)

chapter 1: first bloom

In his room, staring at the mirror and back pressed to the door, Russia was there contemplating his feelings and, as it always was, they remained the same. He still loved America and couldn't figure out why. Was it because of his hopes or was it because he needed a person to trust? He had the same thoughts with his sisters but in a more family love for them. They didn't care. They've said it to his face before. But he did. Why was he still caring if they wouldn't care back?

Right now his emotions were all mixed up. One messy garden of different flowers, weeds and plants jumbled in an incoherent manner.

His feelings of betrayal from those he knew. No one would talk to him. No one would let him speak. He wanted to say it wasn't his fault and prove he could be sweet to his friends. But nobody listened. They left him at his weakest and couldn't bat an eye.

His feelings of sadness which linked to his abandonment. Not only was he suffering trauma from his childhood but he was falling deeper into his depressive state and no one bothered to save him. He was crying alot for the first few days and eventually spent most nights out on the balcony wishing on every star for a lick of happiness. But yet, nothing. And it got worse everytime he saw the people out at night having a good time. A tinge of jealousy but alot of sadness.

The feelings of fear also lingered in his heart. The anxiety of being around others made his life hell. He'd almost have full on panic attacks at night when thinking of the next day. If he needed to go outside he'd almost break down in his own fear. Even going downstairs was hard. He didn't wanna bump into his sisters too afraid of what they would say to him.

And yet there were still feelings of love lingering for those he knew. His sisters whom he had cared about for years since childhood. He would help them but now had no courage to face them. He would however still wish to check on them. But fear is a powerful force. Toying with him everyday as if it were an existstant being. Then there was America. Sweet gods was his love for him undeniable. Even after the extreme blows he threw at him, he kept the same thought. He didn't mean it. Though it was far from the truth, he wouldn't give up hope just yet. Even at his mental health's expense.

Even still. A few things would replay in his mind. Just some very meanspirited questions. And a few heavy blows. And every time, her respond with one simple phrase.

'I will love you all. No matter what you do and say, I will always love you.'

*cough*

There was a minor sound, a cough, which escaped Russias mouth.

It wasn't a major thing so he let it slip.

Until the coughs were becoming more aggressive with each one feeling like it were clawing at his throat. Upon instincts his arm wrapped over his stomach as he felt irritated in his mid section. In all of this pain, a needle like pain was also felt in his left arm? Why his arm? And why did the pain feel like it was coming from inside his body? "What's... going on?" He got out between coughs. So many questions were flooding him and he couldnt think of an answer at all from the pain.

It felt like an hour but was only a minute before is all subsided. Getting a chance to look, he looked at his arm. What he saw was the most confusing thing in history.

"A... tansy?"

And that wraps up chapter 1. These chapters won't be incredibly long, but there will be as many chapters as I can squeeze in. One for each stage maybe. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all soon. BYYYYEEEE!