A GIRL LIKE YOU. sam evans

ii. SPEARS IS FIERCE

"ALL RIGHT, WHO CAN TELL ME WHO CHRISTOPHER CROSS IS?"

Aria could already tell she was going to fall asleep by the time Mr. Schuester started discussing the assignment.

"He discovered America." Brittany answered, causing Finn to nod.

"Close."

How on earth was that close?

"He did write an iconic chart topper, Sailing."

"I have a bad feeling about this lesson." Kurt said, slouching into his seat.

"Never heard of him. Don't want to hear about him." Tina said aloud.

"Now, some people think of the term 'easy listening' as a bad thing but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself." he pointed to the sheet music in his hand, "You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there but really good music can also be controlled," he began to hand the sheets to the glee club, "And restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience. It can let them come to you."

"How can you get caught between the moon and New York City?" Finn asked, reading the lyrics, "They're, like, a million miles apart."

"Mr. Schue, if I may," Kurt raised his hand, "I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand? That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by -- wait for it," Kurt paused, "Ms. Britney Spears."

The entire room broke out into chatter.

"Yo, Spears is fierce." Artie voiced.

"Sorry," Mr. Schuester shook his head, but everyone was still talking about Britney, "No, I don't think she's a very good role model."

"But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her." Rachel told the teacher, surprising Aria.

"She's literally why I wanted to become a performer." Tina shared.

"I don't want to do Britney." Brittany spoke quietly, bringing everyone's attention to her.

"Why no Britney, Brittany?" Kurt questioned, turning to the girl.

"Because my name is also Britney Spears."

"What?" Aria furrowed her brows.

"My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany S'pierce." she explained, confusing the glee club, "I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears's shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears." she finished her speech and Aria was even more confused.

"Well, there you have it, guys. It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry." Mr. Schuester shrugged.

"Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot." Kurt said sarcastically to the blonde.

"Leave Brittany alone." Santana defended.

"Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road." Brittany thanked Santana.

"Um, can we move on?" Rachel asked.

"Yes. Let's talk about Michael Bolton." Mr. Schuester agreed, and that's when Aria decided to start napping.

•••

"HOW LAME ARE YOU TO RESORT TO EATING LUNCH IN THE CHOIR ROOM?"