Mend Me? ➸ hemmings a.u

18. Guilt, Love & Tears

I'm not sure how long we were in that position. Time froze, just like the weightless moment and the time after we kissed. The moment ended when he was pulled from my grip by a lady I assumed was his mother, and I felt cold air bite at the empty space where his chest was against mine. I looked up and found her eyes already locked on mine. Her brows furrowed before she seemed to come to a moment of realisation, and mouthed a 'thank you.' She said something to Luke which made him nod, then began pulling him away. He turned back to me and watched as I knelt, still frozen in the position where his arms were around me, still feeling the warmth of his embrace and the tears on his cheeks. 'I love you', he mouthed, but Michael startled me before I could respond.

"Come on," he held his hand out in front of me and I took it, being pulled up to my feet with ease. "Wanna get home?" He asked, and as I took one last glance at the mansion, the fire slowly being managed, I nodded and let him lead me through the crowd of chaos and disbelief.

I was pushed into his car and the reality of what just happened instantly broke me into a million pieces. My head fell and slammed against the dashboard. "Hey, hey," he leaned over his seat and tried to hold me. "He said she was dead, he was sure," I couldn't control my sobs, and I barely registered his hand rubbing circles on my back. "He doesn't know that, you don't know that, we know nothing for sure. I shouldn't have told you," he concluded. "I've made you cry again. I'm a monster," he mumbled. "You didn't make me cry," I looked up and saw he had tears of his own brimming his eyes. "You didn't set this fire," I reminded him, and he nodded once.

Two pairs of hands then started banging on the window beside me, causing me to jump. My head snapped towards the sound and saw four wide eyes through my red ones looking into the car. I opened the window and felt the heat from the blaze once again. "They've blocked Ash's car in," Calum said. Michael gestured for them to get in, receiving a sigh of relief.

"Do you guys wanna stay at mine? You too, Ava?" He looked to the back first and then to me, biting his lip as he did so. I nodded and he started the car. "Let's get out of here."

I placed myself firmly in the corner of his sofa, my eyes fixed on a cup on the coffee table for a while, because when I finally snapped out of my daze, the guys were gone and Michael was waving his hand over my face. "Ava, can you hear me?" His voice was broken and tired. I looked up and saw his eyes were red and swollen also. "Yeah, Michael. What's wrong?" He sat down beside me. "I thought I broke you," he pouted. I sighed and shook my head, "I'm okay. I mean I'm not okay, but thank you." I rested my head on the back of the sofa. "Av-" "hm?" He smiled, "so you really forgive me?" I watched as his fingers ran through his messy, dark hair. "You don't believe me?" I rose my eyebrows and he smirked. "Give me a hug," he mumbled.

I called my mum and after around eleven minutes of persuasion, I had permission to stay at Michael's for the night. He stayed up with me, because there was no possible way I could sleep. He also had to physically prevent me from trying to call Luke six times, who I assumed would be getting the same amount of sleep as I. It was around 5AM when I heard Michael's light snores beside me, and I was glad someone would be getting a few hours tonight.

He woke up startled at around 8AM. "Morning sleeping beauty," I mumbled. He sat up and focused on the television I'd just turned on. On the screen were visions of the fire from last night, and it was just like reliving a nightmare. I had to watch it as I would a horror movie, with eyes squinted so I couldn't see it clearly. They widened though as I saw new footage of the mansion from this morning. "Woah," he rubbed his eyes as the camera panned over what little remained of the structure. We stared wide eyed as the reporter spoke of a faulty heater and the accident being a tragic loss to the community. My breath caught in my throat as Michael turned up the volume. "Rose Anderson's parents returned from Perth early this morning, a truly tragic accident with the loss of a beautiful, youn-" and the screen was black. Michael threw the remote control across the living room, and we were silent for a few moments. It was a silence accompanied by a piercing ringing and a throbbing heartbeat in my aching head. "Her parents," I finally choked out. Michael stood up, "I think we should go to Luke's," he suggested. "You're the one that stopped me from calling him last night," I argued. "I-" he shut his eyes tight. "What," I stood up and placed my hands over his arms. "I didn't think she'd actually be dead!" He said a little too loudly, causing me to flinch. "I didn't mean to-" "I can't blame you. I can't blame you," I repeated.

"Ava I need to tell you something," he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. "What?" He took a deep breath. "The fire," he started, and my heart almost stopped. "When Calum told me, my-" he cut himself off with a sob. "My first reaction was, was hoping she'd die," he admitted, his sobs now an earthquake shaking his entire body. I wasn't surprised. I'd been dwelling on his look of excitement as he drove for a while last night. "It's because, because what she did to you. I didn't think, but now I feel so, I feel so guilty," he sounded utterly ashamed. "You weren't thinking straight, it's okay," I assured him. "I thought she'd be okay," he continued. "Come on," I took his hand and he pulled away, staring at me with tears still running down his cheeks. "Let's get to Luke's?" I asked and he nodded, wiping away his tears and reaching for his car keys. "Let's be strong for him, he's broken."

A/N: hello darls. Hope you liked this chapter, get ready for Luke in the next one!