Mend Me? ➸ hemmings a.u

19. Mend Me

A/N: thanks for waiting! Bless you if you're still reading x

The ride to Luke's was painful. The bright sun contrasted almost mockingly with the storm whirling in my head. I refused to look at the sad remains of the mansion in person, focusing my mind on Luke, and Luke only.

Michael and I decided to knock on his front door together. I could tell he was holding his breath upon hearing our knocks echo throughout the tiled house. His mum let us in, and the pained smile she tried to welcome us with almost broke me down on the spot.

"May we see Luke?" Michael asked for me, and I'm glad he did, as the lump in my throat wasn't going to allow me to speak any time soon. Mrs. Hemmings hesitated before she replied. "He," she begun. "He hasn't spoken since," she told us, a look of utter defeat and worry. "He hasn't slept," she continued, and I nodded, remembering my sleepless night.

We slowly made our way upstairs, knocking lightly on Luke's door. My heart thumped nervously when silence replied. "Luke, it's Ava," I croaked out, the voice sounding nothing like my own. "And Michael," he added quietly behind me. After four more attempts, I turned the door handle slowly, the creek almost like a horror film. Peeking my head in, the first image I saw were bright red eyes staring blankly towards a space in a corner of the room.

"Luke," I approached him slowly, Michael following closely behind. I kneeled beside his bed. I studied every inch of him, from the clothes he wore yesterday to the fingers he was fiddling with almost madly. He sat hunched over, arms locked around his ankles and chin resting on his knees. He didn't respond.

"Luke, it's Ava, look at me?" I asked, my heart thumping harder every second he was unresponsive. "Luke." I grabbed his hand, and his eyes shot up to mine. I gasped at the intensity of this stare. It wasn't Luke, and my painful heartbeat was relentless. His lips parted as he recognised me, "you need to go," he whispered sternly. "You need to go, Ava, please," his begged, his voice shifting flawlessly into a plea. I heard the sound scratching painfully against his throat. "We're here for you, don't you want us here?" I asked, trying to remain composed for him. "Go," he whispered.

Michael stood up. "Maybe he'll talk to just you," he mumbled. I looked up as he walked slowly out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. I looked back to Luke immediately, his eyes still wide on mine. I sat up on the bed and faced him, his eyes following my every move.

His hands were clammy as I took hold of them, and his lips would have been dry if I tried to kiss him. "Do you actually want me to go?" I whispered. The first tears I'd seen today escaped when his eyelids shut. His lips quivered before he answered, "no," he whimpered. I didn't hesitate before I engulfed him in my arms. He sobbed loudly into the crook of my neck, and I couldn't stop myself from sobbing with him. I pulled away, regretting it immediately when I saw pure helplessness in his eyes, rather than the blank numbness of only moments before. "Luke," was all I could say.

The sound of me saying his name seemed to effect him, as his tear-stained featured contorted in a way I hadn't seen before, raising his hands to his eyes to hide from me. I pulled his hands away, "baby," I cooed. "She tore me apart," he said abruptly. "I can mend you," I begun. "I have glue in the form of kisses and cuddles," I smiled. I watched his lips smile for the first time since what seemed like forever. Though the moment was lost almost instantly. His bit on his lip ring and shook his head. "You shouldn't mend someone like me," he mumbled. "Luke," I took his hand, and he pulled away. "Ava, you really need to go," he said sternly. "No!" I said a little too loudly. "I need you and you need me," I argued. "I want to be here!" He flinched at my outburst. "Ava, you don't want to, trust me," he replied. "Why would you say that? I love you, Luke, don't you know that?" I gripped his hands. "You're hurting me," he looked down, and I saw that my fingernails were digging into his palms. I released him instantly. "I love you," he said finally, and my heart seemed to relax quickly at those words. "But you can't love me," he added, and I almost screamed in frustration. Fire seemed to take over my vision as this anger took over.

"Luke! Rose is gone, which means we can finally be together! Don't you get it? She's dead! She's dead and you don't have to worry about her hurting me anymore! Luke, don't you-" "Stop!" He stood up and stumbled backwards. "Shut up!" He screamed, ripping his throat to shreds. Anger boiled within me.

"You still love her, don't you?" I spat. "You love the girl who tortured me! You love the girl who treated you like a slave. She dragged you everywhere, she controlled you, she stopped you from being you and you're in love with her? You're in love with the devil, Luke, that's why you're crying. You're in love with the girl who made me cry. You're-you're in love with a dead girl!" I yelled.

He dropped to his knees, eyes focused on me. "Come here," he whispered. I sat on the floor opposite him, breathing deeply with my heart continuing to pulse painfully in my ears. "You love me?" He asked, his voice distant and detached. I nodded. "No matter what?" His eyebrows rose. "Yes, Luke." "Even if the sky was falling down? Even if Terabithia ceased to exist? Eve-" "Luke, I love you," I said finally.

He took a deep breath, and let it out shakily. His eyes seemed to shoot right through me as he prepared for his next words. The blue tiger stripes I saw under water danced in them. For a moment I was so lost and so in love that I almost didn't even hear the words he spoke.

"Even if it was me who set the fire?"