She slept all the way back to Ekero and in a way Bjorn was glad. He knew that the day must have exhausted her, they had left at 0830 and here they were returning to Ekero at 1800 and to be honest the silence of the drive gave him time to marshall his thoughts and make a plan of campaign. It had been the best of days and the worst of days, on the one hand he and his Anna WERE starting with a clean slate. He marvelled that through all the dark times, misunderstandings and half truths their love had stood the test of time throughout even if it had been hidden away. They had totally reconnected and he couldn't help but grin as he remembered their lovemaking. They certainly bought out the best in each other that was for sure and on the other hand he faced the very real possibility of losing her just when he had found his way back to her. He refused to let that happen. He needed to talk to Emma and Anna again, he needed to talk to Linda and Christian. He frowned as he thought of Lena and knew that he would do as he had told Christian tomorrow, regardless of what else happened he knew that his time with Lena was absolutely done. He had finally had enough. He recognised that he'd had the final push he needed to end all of this. He also knew that he didn't care how long he had with Anna, he hoped it was a long time but he found that it did not matter, he wanted to spend whatever time they BOTH had left with her. He blinked back tears at the thought and resolved to go with her to her next round of chemo, he had questions that he needed answering. Despite his turmoil though and the difficulties he knew that he would face he found that he was more at peace than he'd been for nearly 40 years.
He stopped the truck 20 minutes outside of Ekero in a deserted nature reserve car park and woke her gently. He hopped out of the truck and went round to her side to open the door and he helped her out. "I'm sorry you have to go in the back" he said. She smiled gently and said "It's safer this way, thank you for remembering" she went to get into the back but he stopped her, took a quick look around and snatched a kiss. She blushed and giggled. "You're crazy Bjorn, I don't get kissed in public!" He delighted in her discomfort for he knew she loved it really. "Get in" he said and he couldn't resist the lure of a quick grope of her bum as she did so. He was rewarded with a surprised squeal and a giggle. He grinned as he shut the door and strode back round to the driver's side. He put the cap back on and started the last leg of the drive back to Ekero.
Now that he knew what Christian had been valiantly hiding he was not surprised to see the gates open without him using the on board pad, he smiled as he realised Christian must have been watching for them on the cameras. It made it easier actually for he just kept his foot down and headed into the drive at speed. He made it in with inches to spare and as he watched in the rearview mirror he could see that the gates were closing rapidly and he had no need to block them. He could hear Anna laughing behind the screens and shook his head at the things that made her happy. His little adrenaline queen. It didn't occur to him right at that moment that she hadn't done such things in years and it was only happening now because she felt safe with him.
He pulled up behind the house and was not in the least surprised to see Christian striding across the yard making a beeline for his Mama who was getting out of the truck. Christian picked her up and looked her in the eye "Ok?" he asked "More than ok darling" she answered softly. "We're ok." "He knows?" Christian checked. "He knows" confirmed Bjorn from behind him. "You can put Mama down now son. It's ok. I'm not going anywhere" Anna's feet hit the floor and Christian said feelingly "Thank god for that, it's been the longest day of my life" Bjorn reflected on the warning that Christian had given him this morning and he understood his son's angst. "Come on Christian, let her go. It's been a long and emotional day. We need a drink and some food" he said feelingly. "We've had snacks all day and I'm starving. Join us? Please?" Bjorn added. Anna's heart melted watching Bjorn and their son together. So alike. "Love too. Still a treat. Dinner with both my parents. Linda's coming home early Mama. She'll be home Saturday ""Why? Is something wrong?" Anna demanded. Christian laughed and said "No Mama, she wants to see you both, all of us. She misses us. She wants to see you two with her own eyes!" Anna laughed. "Always nosy that one, doesn't want to miss out on anything" she rolled her eyes happily. Christian went back to get Nike and lock up.
She went up the steps to the house and went in. She took her coat off and hung it in the hall cupboard. She rummaged about for her indoor clogs and Bjorn came up shrugging his coat off. He hung it up and automatically bent to help Anna with her boots. Christian smiled to see it as he walked back in, he was delighted. Anna put her clogs on and went to the kitchen to find food. Christian rummaged in the cupboard for his clogs and passed his father his with a small wink. Bjorn tutted and laughed.
"Papa, I need to talk to you" he swung back to look at Christian and was alarmed to see he looked distraught. Bjorn took his arm and pulled him into the sunroom. "Christian what's WRONG? Give me Nike" Christian sat on the sofa and said "I'm so glad you know Papa. She might have a fighting chance if you stay" "I'm not going anywhere Christian. I love your mother, I always have and I always will. We, I just got lost, I won't leave her" Christian's tears came in earnest then and Bjorn saw his son through the years. He saw the baby, the toddler, the 10 year old, the stroppy teenager and the man. The man who was crying for his Mama. Bjorn put Nike safely on the rug on the floor and put his arms round his son. Seemed that it didn't matter how old he was, he still needed his Papa. "What if she doesn't make it Papa? What if we lose her? We won't survive without her. I'm scared Papa" he choked "We're a long way from that son, the doctors are pleased she tells me, I'm going to take her to her next chemo. I have questions. I'll take the weight off you two and Frida for this one. It's my turn and I WANT too Christian" "It's awful Papa" he whispered "she screams when it burns, she can't walk and I carry her, she can't drink or eat because her mouth is full of ulcers. She never complains. The ride home hurts her, every bump or swerve.Its torture. She has to have a bucket in the back of the truck all the time. What if she's fought her way through all this for nothing and she dies anyway??" Bjorn's eyes were watering now but he said "she has the greatest reason to fight and she told me she won't give up until there isn't a breath in her body. She wants to live Christian, therefore we will fight with her and if you think I'm losing her now after fighting for so long to get her back you're absolutely wrong son. We will do this." Christian sniffed and sighed. "You're right. I'm so glad you know now Papa" Bjorn rummaged about in his pocket for a handkerchief, "Here wipe your face Christian" he smiled and said "Can't let Mama see us crying" Christian took it and wiped his face and blew his nose "I'm hungry" he said. Bjorn chuckled "you're always hungry, let's go and see what Mama has cooked up" he picked the baby up off the floor and savoured her small weight against him. "You haven't lost it have you Papa" said Christian amused. "Nope, I love all my kids no matter how annoying they are" he gave Christian a mock glare "and I love my grandchildren even more" he said teasingly.
They wandered into the kitchen laughing and it smote Anna's heart. She was sad for the lost years that they could have been like this but maybe this was meant to be. Her and Bjorn certainly wouldn't take their second chance for granted. She frowned as she thought of Lena. That would not be easy for Bjorn, Lena was a difficult woman who was much used to getting her own way but the benefit of years had taught Anna patience and that she must have faith, and trust in Bjorn. She did not doubt him for a second and if need be she would face Lena down herself and stand side by side with Bjorn.
She had rummaged in the freezer and found a massive bag of paella, she kept such things for the days when she couldn't cook, today it was good for speed. "Christian can you get the big paella pan down darling? I can't reach it" He reached right over the top of her head and pulled the pan down putting it on the stove for her. "There you go Mama, anything else?" She frowned in thought "you could go and get the broccoli and spinach out. We need vegetables. Other than that no thank you" Christian went and searched the fridge and came out with what he had been asked for. Bjorn took it upon himself to lay the table albeit one handedly as he had Nike sleeping on one shoulder. Soon the kitchen was full of delicious smells and Bjorn had sat at the table wanting to enjoy his time with Nike, content to watch proceedings. He was not sure he would ever get used to this feeling of contentment, of belonging. He wished with everything he had that one day everyone he loved could be round this table but that was greedy he reflected and would be fraught with difficulty. He was grateful enough. He was distracted from his thoughts as Nike woke so he crossed his leg and rested her in the crook of his knee. She was full of smiles and he thoroughly enjoyed interacting with her, making her giggle and dribble with joy. Anna and Christian were equally touched and left him to it.
When it was ready Christian carried the heavy pan to the table and Anna followed with vegetables. "Want me to take her Papa?" Christian offered. "No, I'm fine" Bjorn said quickly. Anna smiled and went to fetch a spoon and a pasta bowl. Bjorn watched her questioningly. She took his plate and knife and fork away, "Anna? I'm starving" he protested "I know baby" she replied and Christian did a double take. Bjorn saw him and grinned "Anna, he's too young to remember" "Remember what? she asked confused "You called him baby Mama!" Christian said laughing. "Oh" she blushed. "You two had nicknames for each other??" "Just that one" Bjorn replied laughing and laughed even more as he saw Anna blush furiously and he just KNEW that her mind was dwelling on the private "nicknames" that would never be divulged to the children no matter how old they were.
All became clear to him as she doled out an enormous portion of paella and took the mussels out of their shells, she took the heads off the prawns and chopped up the broccoli. She made sure the spinach was manageable with a spoon and chopped the prawns a bit before putting it in front of him. He grinned at her gratefully as she gave him the spoon. It meant he could eat one handed while holding Nike he realised. "Thank you BABY" he deliberately emphasised the baby and she laughed and swatted him on the arm. Christian laughed with them and dug into a mountain of paella. Bjorn watched him for a moment and said to Anna "Your food bill must be horrific Anna" "You wait till we're all here" mumbled Christian. "She loves it." "I do" agreed Anna "but that's why I have to go back and sing for my supper, I have to earn money to feed you lot" she winked at Bjorn and he grinned.
They chatted over the dinner table and Bjorn asked Christian if he could take him back to Vallentuna to collect his car tomorrow, he wouldn't go in. He'd just text Benny and collect the car. He knew what those two were like and he really didn't want to walk in on them. Christian agreed happily and said "What's the plan?" "I'm going to see Emma and Anna I need to talk to them face to face then I'm going to deal with Lena. I need to collect my stuff and then hopefully Mama would let me come back here" he watched her carefully and delighted to see what looked very much to him like a relieved smile. She didn't say anything but she nodded. "You forgot something Papa."Christian said. "I did? Isn't that enough?" he wondered. Anna snorted and giggled. "He means your car baby. You need to upgrade it to be safe here. When he goes home you'd be stuck" "Of course, I did say that didn't I. Can you give me the details son and I'll look at them before tomorrow" "Mama, about that, About home. I've been here nearly a fortnight, I want to come home. Can we start building?" Anna sighed and said "Christian I don't want you imprisoned here until you have to be" "It's not a prison is it Mama when everyone you love is there with you? I ,we want to be here with all of you. When ABBA kicks off again I need to think of my family too and we are safer all together. We don't need to be in each others pockets do we? Papa help me" he appealed. "Well I think it's a wonderful idea. Anna he's nearly 40. He wants to settle down. He's man enough to make his own choices and in his shoes I'd want to be here too. There might be more grandchildren for you to fuss over on the horizon. Let him build. We all choose to be with you Anna. All of us!" Bjorn added in support "Are you sure it's what you both want? I don't want to be a burden" "You're not a burden Mama, you're my mother and I love you, it's just time for me to come home and look after my family. I want what's best for them and a poky flat in Stockholm is not best now" "Then build" Anna said. "But use the same company we've had here before" "Yes Mama" Christian grinned.
Anna finished her smaller meal and offered to take Nike while Bjorn stretched his leg out and finished his food. "Mama what's for pudding?" Anna rolled her eyes. "Really? Really? Christian! You've just eaten a mountain!" Bjorn couldn't help it, he roared with laughter. "What sort of monster did we create Anna darling?" "A bloody bottomless one clearly!" she retorted. She stood up and carried Nike into the kitchen and looked in the fridges. "Chocolate cake or cherry cake or ice-cream. Help yourself" "Bjorn? You want something else?" she asked him. He nearly said "Yes, just you" but thought better of it and said "It all sounds good. Can I have a small piece of each? I'll get it" he hastened to add. "wwHelp yourself" she said smiling " do you make all this yourself Anna?" he asked as he got up. "Yep" she answered. "Gives me something to focus on. It makes me happy." "Wait till you taste her Sunday roast Papa. Apparently she had one in England once and loved it and bought the recipes back with her years ago she's made it her own" Bjorn was surprised, when he had lived in England he hadn't been a fan of much of the food but he had liked the roast on a Sunday. "You did?" he asked "I did" she confirmed. The boys finished up their puddings while Anna took her myriad of tablets and Christian said "Mama thank you for tea and Papa just thank you. I'm exhausted. I'm up for an early night. Too much worrying about you two today" he grinned "and yet I couldn't be happier" He hugged them both and made his good nights with Nike. Bjorn was quietly relieved. He wanted an early night too. Despite every good intention he and Anna had really not slept much in the last few days and he could do with it. He knew she could too so he had hatched a plan.
He made her sit while he cleared away and put the dishwasher on. He tidied up methodically while she watched through half closed eyes. He looked at his watch it was 2100, perfect time for bed today. He text Christian to ask if they could leave for 0830 as he'd forgotten to ask. Christian answered in the affirmative and wished them a good night. Bjorn grabbed Anna's hand and led her upstairs. "Let's watch TV in bed hmm? We both need rest" To Anna that sounded like heaven and she nodded eagerly.
While she was in the bathroom he rang Emma and Anna to see if they could see him tomorrow and they were both excited at the thought. They made suitable arrangements. Anna came out the bathroom in his tatty old t shirt and nothing else and she drove every other thought from his mind. "Anna baby" he groaned "that's not fair" "What isn't?" she asked confused. He waved at her get up. "You!! We're supposed to be having an early night!! Looking like that you'll be lucky if I let you sleep by dawn!" "Bjorn, this t shirt is as old as the hills. Don't be ridiculous!" she laughed at him. "It isn't the bloody t shirt Anna, though I'm pleased to see my t shirt again. It's what's in it that's my problem. How do you still have legs that slay me? and a bum that blinds me to everything else except you??" he sighed. "Who would have thought I'd have problems controlling my libido at 72??" He shook his head and laughed. "God what am I saying?? I'm a lucky old bastard" he got up off the bed and went into the bathroom giving her bum a firm squeeze on his way by. "Get in that bed Anna"
They were settled in bed and content when Anna suddenly said "If things don't work out as you plan tomorrow, it's ok. I've had an amazing few days and I'm content with that. If Lena gives you something I don't then it's fine. Will you at least come back and tell me? Please?" Bjorn was genuinely shocked but set about putting her fears to rest immediately. He turned to her and scowled fiercely. "Anna, has nothing I've said meant anything to you? I'm ending it with Lena tomorrow whether or not you want me. I'll work to win you back if I have to. There is nothing on this earth that would keep me from you. It won't be easy and I'll warn you now when I come home to you tomorrow evening I'll probably be in an evil mood but my home and my heart are with you. The same place they've been for nearly 5 decades Anna." "Sorry, I just didn't want you to feel you had to just because I'm ill" "No I don't have to but I bloody want too. I hope we have years and years and years together but whatever time we do have is better than nothing and I'm prepared for that baby" he said feelingly. She felt the impact of his words keenly and didn't know what to say so instead asked "I'll be ready with a scotch then tomorrow?" half seriously. "Maybe 3" Bjorn growled. "Bjorn, I don't care how evil you think you'll be, I'll love you anyway" she said. He wrapped his arms round her tightly and buried his face in her hair. "Wait for me Anna, please wait for me"
It was her offering the comfort this time "Bjorn, I've been waiting for you for 38 years, one more day is nothing. I will always wait for you. Always Baby.
