Crazy Normal

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The rest of the weekend passed them all by in blessed peace, the walls and gates of Ekero kept them all safe. The media storm was relentless and although they all kept an eye on it they did not allow it to bother them like it had done in the past, it was true that outside Ekero the crowds were huge and sometimes they could hear them singing Abba songs but somehow because they were all together and the girls were safe at Vallentuna with their families it didn't seem so bad at all. There were no demons this time because it was all happening as it was meant to be. There was a silence from Lena that Bjorn hadn't known for years and he found it difficult to believe that it was all over. Frida and Benny had decided with the total support of both Anna and Bjorn to fly to Switzerland just for a few days, Frida had stuff she really needed to sort as she had been away longer than she had ever considered and Anna was safe and happy with Bjorn, her scan was not for another ten days and all three of them privately felt that it would be good for Benny to take a breather before his own battle with Mona commenced. He'd done all he could do with his solicitor, he'd invoked the codicil against Mona and he was lucky that he and Bjorn were using the same trusted solicitor, he had great faith but like Bjorn he didn't much care what he had to do to start his new life. He was luckier than Bjorn insofar as he'd had the codicil which limited what Mona could claim as she was the one who had broken the rules so he had no qualms about going with Frida, he was utterly delighted that she wanted him to come, he'd never once seen her life in Switzerland and he couldn't deny that he was curious and throughly looking forward to it. He knew that there was a possibility that without distraction he could slide backwards a little with his addictions so the idea of a break in a new place thrilled him. He'd spoken at length with his children in recent weeks and much to his surprise his older children were delighted and admitted that they'd been devastated when he'd broken up with Frida and had put up with Mona only because she was the choice that he had made Ludwig was another matter, because Mona was his mother he was understandably much more taciturn and had been very protective of his mother, he had left home when he was fairly young so had not seen the depths to which his parent's marriage had sunk and when he had lived with them it had been well hidden. Benny found it ironic that Ludwig was the child with whom he would have to rebuild his relationship carefully considering the fact that he had left Frida behind for Ludwig but he was desperate to try. He didn't have quite the qualms that Bjorn did, it wasnt that he was a selfish man, far from it but as he'd said to Bjorn months ago the children were grown, it was their time now. He had faith in his son and Frida, he wouldn't ever give up.
Christian drove them to the airport in the pool truck in the early hours of the Tuesday morning and Frida had rechartered the private plane, they both wanted to be under the radar so didn't want a delay at Arlanda nor a stopover in London. They had planned to be back in Stockholm on the Monday morning, Frida had only wanted a few days but Anna had reassured her that all was well and the scan wasn't until the Tuesday, Frida had resisted until Bjorn had gently pointed out that Benny was struggling a little and needed a total change of scene for a while, that they needed time together alone and that he would look after Anna, she had finally capitulated but was adamant that they were house hunting when they came back and they would be back on the Monday morning. The look of total joy on Benny's face when Frida told him told its own story and she thanked God that Bjorn could see what she had missed.
Christian and Isabelle took the chance for a few days away as well and went up the coast to the holiday cottage that Isabelle's parents owned, certainly no one would find them there and just like that Bjorn and Anna found themselves at the start of the rest of their lives, they had the house to themselves like it would be normally and Bjorn thought it absolutely wonderful, much as he loved them all he relished the thought of having Anna all to himself for a few days. He would spoil her endlessly he decided and they'd sleep in until noon if they wanted. Maybe they wouldn't get out of bed at all one day, he grinned at the thought "What are you plotting now?" Anna asked suspiciously as she wandered into the kitchen with an armful of laundry "all the things I'm going to do with you now I finally have you all to myself" he told her honestly "I love em all you know" he shared "but I bloody adore you and I'm a selfish man when it comes to you my darling girl" he delighted in her ready blush and she giggled "All alone with you has got to be a good thing" she told him "we might build a new normal" she added "it doesn't mean we have to get rid of any of the old normal does it?" Bjorn demanded "if you think I'm not carrying you or hugging you or ANY of our old normal that I love you can forget it" he told her firmly "I've only just got it back" Anna put the laundry on the table and giggled "No Bjorn" she was openly teasing him and the sparkle in her eyes took his breath away "a new normal with all the good bits of our old normal. I love it when you carry me and hug me. I love it when you get distracted from your work if I walk in the room. I love it when I find your shirts in the laundry basket, I love hearing you whistling in the shower. That's some of our new normal" Bjorn beamed "I love this Anna" he yelled happily as he swooped on her and danced her round the room "I fucking love this, it's just so RIGHT!" Anna giggled breathlessly "You're crazy!!" but he noted that she LET him continue leading her round the room like a pair of fools. He stopped suddenly "Up baby" and she held on as he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him happily "and all those things I promised you I would do with you when we were alone. I remember them all and I'll think of more, I'll always think of more" he spun them both around laughing "Anna, I'm just happy" he stopped and looked at her seriously "I'm so happy, you make me so happy." he sighed "you must think I'm insane, I'd forgotten what it's like to be happy until you loved me again" she kissed him softly "Oh no Bjorn, never. I understand more than you know but I didn't love you again you know. I've never not" "Frida told me that before I took you to chemo" Bjorn mused "everyone saw it but me" "Oh somewhere in there you knew" she whispered "and you loved me too, all that time." he hummed contentedly "yeah I did" "Bjorn, what's the first thing on your list?" she asked "breakfast baby, I'm starving, then I'm taking you out" "Out out?" Anna squeaked "Yep, new world Anna darling. I want to look over the new truck. I haven't had time to look at it, let alone drive it. We're going on a road trip, just a little one and see how she rolls" Anna went quiet "a road trip?" she whispered "Yep, don't worry Anna, just a little one and we WILL be safe" he reassured her quickly "a road trip" she sighed Bjorn prepared himself to persuade her and reassure her but as he met her eyes he realised that they were STILL sparkling "and we don't know where we're going?" he shook his head no and waited for her protest but it wasn't to be, if it were possible she squeezed him tighter and put her hands to either side of his face and kissed him passionately. "What was that for?" he wondered when she pulled away "because I love you, because that's the best idea you've had, because I LOVE our road trips and because I KNOW I'm safe with you, I can come with you" she told him happily "I want to see the truck too, let me put the laundry onto wash and we'll go!" her excitement was unexpected and it made him smile "Baby I'm hungry" he protested laughing "I'll make breakfast first" he told her as she wriggled to be put down "but much more of that" he grumbled contentedly as she continued to wriggle "and we won't be going anywhere except back to bed" he put her down and she grinned "you're insatiable" she laughed but she looked delighted "only for you" he shrugged as if it were utterly normal and went off to make breakfast leaving her shaking her head with bemusement as she collected the laundry, how her life had come to be such a fairytale after so long in the darkness was beyond her but she was going to hold onto it with everything she had and make sure it worked this time.
She finished in the utility room and came into the kitchen to find Bjorn had scrambled eggs and toast cut into little pieces on plates sat on the breakfast bar and he'd made coffee and put it in their mugs. "Bjorn, this is lovely, you didn't have to make me breakfast" she said touched by his thoughtfulness, it was always her that cooked and it was true she loved to do it but this was a treat for sure. He grinned as he walked by her with milk "I made breakfast for US Anna, we're an us now" he kissed her forehead and then put the milk down "I know." she whispered "but I find it hard to believe, that this is mine. That I can keep it all, this is a new world" Bjorn wandered back to her and picked her up, plunking her on the stool "Yeah, I know how you feel" he confided "I'm having a hard time believing that no one will take it all away from me" he stroked her hair gently "but we won't let anyone take this away from us will we Anna?" she heard the same plea for reassurance in his voice that she thought had probably been in hers and so she said "No, we won't baby. Not this time, this is us now" he sighed and agreed "I'll never take a minute of it for granted again I swear Anna" she burrowed into him for a quick hug "neither will I" she promised.
Breakfast done and tidied away Anna went to get a jacket and change her shoes then she joined Bjorn out in the yard to look over the truck. She smiled indulgently at his boyish enthusiasm for the new truck, she allowed him all the time he needed to look it over, she was more interested in how comfy it was, whether the window tints were strong enough, whether the built in protection was as good as Christian's truck and when they could actually go but she was delighting in Bjorn's passion for everything and his excitement was contagious. She popped over to Linda's to tell her she was going out with Bjorn and she didn't know when they'd be back but she had her phone on her and was surprised by Linda throwing her arms around her neck and laughing joyously "Mama I'm delighted!!" she said "I've been waiting for the day you'd come over here and just say" I'm going out with Papa" I'm so happy. Have an amazing time" Linda kissed her cheek and gave her a little shove "Go Mama, have a wonderful day"
She wandered back across the yard bubbling with happiness, Bjorn hopped back out of the truck and opened the back door for her "M'lady" he teased dipping into an exaggerated bow which made her giggle but she clambered in with alacrity and looked around her with interest. Bjorn was right, it was much higher at the back than Christian's, she could see a lot more and she instantly fell in love with the leather seats, it was very comfy and she felt super spoilt. In the meantime Bjorn was sorting himself out in the drivers seat and working out where all the controls were. He linked his phone into the sound system and showed Anna where to plug her phone in, how to control the heat in the back and how to turn the heated seats on and off snatching a kiss here and there. In this truck Anna had control of the screens too so that if Bjorn was busy or she felt unsafe she could put them up or down when she needed to, it made her feel a bit useful though it sounded ridiculous. She was fairly bouncing with impatience by the time Bjorn had contented himself but managed to keep it in check while he programmed the truck into the main security system meaning they could open the gates from the truck and even open one access point to the house, most useful if it was raining or Anna was feeling ill he thought and then finally, FINALLY he started the truck and he was utterly delighted by the power that he could feel, he considered that they'd have a chance of out running most threats in this. "Are you happy with it?" Anna asked from the back "so far I'm delighted" he replied "shall we go?" he enquired "I thought you'd never ask" Anna teased happily "it's a beautiful day, let's go"
An hour later they had meandered down the coast road and stopped in an empty car park for Anna to get in the front with Bjorn, he rather deliberately placed her hand on his left thigh and grinned at her "I love new normal baby but there's bits of the old normal that I cherish, keep it there" Anna did more than that, Anna smiled back and after no more than a cursory check around her she landed a gentle kiss on his lips. He couldn't have been more shocked nor delighted "I will" she told him, gave his thigh a gentle squeeze and asked "off we go?" "Yeah Anna, off we go" he agreed softly.
Another hour had passed in the blink of an eye for Anna and Bjorn as they allowed whimsy to direct their road trip and they found themselves in a deserted woodland car park, Anna had put her seat so far back that she was lying down and watching the wind blow the trees through the open sunroof, she was fascinated by the dappling of the sun through the leaves and Bjorn was reminded of her similar reaction at Viggso. He tangled his fingers through hers gently "Why didn't you ever try to tell me? Why did you let me think the very worst of you?" his whisper was pained "Your statement blew my world to pieces Anna, why didn't you defend yourself?"
Her sigh was heartfelt  and her eyes were swimming with emotion when she turned to him "because I loved you, it was as simple and as complicated as that Bjorn. I loved you enough to need you to be happy. I wanted you to be happy." Her grip tightened around his hand "Would you have listened to me I wonder?" she asked him gently "baby we were so damaged and if I'm honest keeping you safe gave me something to focus on as a way of being part of your life. I was crazy for a while Bjorn and maybe I thought you didn't deserve to put up with me , I needed time to recover and then it became habit, my life, it was easier when you thought badly of me because I didn't have to see you. Seeing you hurt" she stopped momentarily "and the abuse from Lena? Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded gently "because at the time I was terrified you'd believe her and I'd lose my children. I couldn't have lived without them Bjorn. She said she'd take my kids away, she said you hated me and at the time I had no reason to doubt her" he wiped away the lone tear on her cheek "I'll pay you back every penny you ever spent on me and the girls you know" he told her "and even at our worst I never hated you, far from it" he reminded her "I loved you.. Love you" he amended hastily " I know now" she reassured him "but back then I thought it was just me and to be honest I just wanted peace. I didn't want to watch you without me so Ekero became my refuge. Not only because of you to be fair but it was the start of it" she admitted quietly " I can't really explain some of it even to myself so please don't be angry with me. I did lose my mind, the Crazy Garbo did exist for a while and by the time she didn't, it became something useful for me. Another good reason to hide" her thumb rubbed circles absentmindedly on his hand as she went back to watching the leaves.
"I didn't know Anna" he whispered "I didn't realise the damage she'd done to us, to you. Maybe I didn't want to see it in the early days and I was too busy punishing you. I was an arrogant bastard and when you left because of me it hurt, I wanted you to pay and I'm not proud of that" "I paid Bjorn, it's a decision that I've regretted ever since but I wasn't well and I didn't know it" she turned to face him "Bjorn, I don't want your money. I did it willingly, it was my choice. I've told you many times that I could not have lived if anything happened to you, if anything had happened to the girls. It would have ended you and therefore me so maybe I was being selfish"  He pulled her towards him inexorably and she came willingly. He settled her carefully "I need you to know that I NEVER would have taken the kids from you not EVER, no matter how much we were fighting. How could I when all I knew was that my girls deserved you too? They needed a mama." He hugged her tightly "and you told the world that you wouldn't change the fact that I'm the father of your children. Do you know how much that meant to me?" he demanded softly "it's true" she shrugged "be that as it may Anna, to say it in public 40 years after we split is a hell of a move and it nearly stopped my heart" he held her eyes with his own "I will be forever proud and grateful that I AM the father of your children, our children" she smiled as she watched him "Your ferocious defence of me is something I don't deserve Anna, but I'll never ever do anything to shake your faith in me I promise. I'll never forget that statement for as long as I live" "it's OK Bjorn, it needed to be done and I wanted to shut her down for me and for you. There was a little selfishness in there too you know, I'm no angel" she blushed a little "Oh baby you are, you're my angel, you always will be" he told her. They sat for a while  before Anna broke the comfortable silence "Anything else you need to know?" she enquired.  He shook his head "no, that's everything Anna, I'm glad we talked about it though" he kissed her gently and rested his forehead on hers "Let's go home baby, I find myself wanting you naked and this isn't the place" he grumbled, she giggled "I love your honesty Bjorn. I could say the same" she sparkled making his predicament worse "Let's go home baby" she agreed happily
He smiled all the way back to Ekero, this new normal, this crazy normal was his world and he'd never ever let any of it go no matter what. He loved her too, it was as simple and as complicated as that.

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