this chapter kind of sucks and i rewrote it four times because i couldn't get it how i want it and it's still not fully there so i'm sorry.
avery watched the way colby admired the brunette girl's smile until he wore one too. avery wished his new girlfriend would choke to death on her long, brown hair and then maybe colby would come back to her. her dark eyes followed how colby's fingers grazed up and down her tan skin and avery brought her own hand to her cold arm in an attempt to mimic how colby's touch used to feel.
she drank so much as she tried to forget his name, but instead she forgot her's and now she was sitting in sam's bathroom with kat and tara on either side of her. tara was scolding her for her bad habits while kat stayed silent and stroked her hair. they hated how she was handling her problems, but they tried to understand that everyone grieved in different ways.
sam stumbled in on them because he had to pee and they forgot to lock the door, but instead of using the bathroom like he intended, he pulled all three girls to his filming room so avery could be more comfortable while she cried. he left for a moment and then reappeared with a glass of water and tried to get her to drink some. he held it to her lips, but any that made it into her mouth just tumbled out with the next sob. she dearly hoped that the loud music playing in the living room was drowning out the sound of her awful cries.
she eventually staggered out of his apartment despite them telling her not to and found her way onto the roof. she nearly fell three times while she was trying to get up, but never fully did and she was sitting with her legs hanging over the ledge and she stared off into the distance. the stars seemed to be even brighter tonight and she wished on the first shooting star she saw and she thought of the same wish every time another one would fly by.
everyone was slowly leaving the pizza night and it was just a few people left as they worried about where avery was. her car keys were still laying on the counter next to her empty cup and colby slipped outside to make sure she hadn't fallen somewhere. he looked around and caught sight of her red converse swaying back and forth above him and he swore he'd never ran faster than he did when he flew up every flight of stairs until he was on the roof.
avery heard his footsteps grow nearer and she caught how his breathing became audible when he saw her.
"they're all worried about you," he spoke from behind her. his eyes were burning into the back of her head and she shivered at the feeling of his gaze on her. "they're scared of what you're going to do."
"i'll be fine," she replied, keeping her eyes locked on her shoes that were still dangling in the air. the wind began to pick up and her body was moving with it and colby began to fear that she would blow right off, but he wasn't sure if he was in a position to hold her body against his to make sure she wouldn't.
"you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," he tried to convince himself.
"i've though about it," avery replied and colby's heart snapped at her confession. before he had a chance to say anything, avery began to drunkenly ramble, "i miss you and i shouldn't. i know you found someone new. she's so pretty and you deserve her. i just can't help it."
her voice was so quiet and her words were slurred together and if colby didn't know her inside and out, he probably wouldn't of understood what she was saying.
"i just want you to be happy," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes so the tears wouldn't spill over, "and i wish i could say that i'd be happy if you were, but i'm so far from happy without you that it's just pathetic."
colby wanted to say that he missed her too and that he'd never felt more lonely without her by his side, but his phone began to buzz in his pocket and he already knew that it was brooklyn so he backed away with sad eyes and muttered a lie that would only make everything worse.
"i'm the happiest i've ever been."
