Please Don't Run Away

Airport

Perrie's POV

It had been 3 weeks since Jade has been discharged from the Hospital. She was told that she had to speak with a counselor by her doctor's but she have yet to do so. She says that she doesn't see why it is necessary, and that she is doing fine. Me and the girls are here for her. And I made her a promise not to tell the girls everything that happened, so all that Leigh-Anne and Jesy know is that she was attacked. She says that she doesn't want everyone seeing her as being weak. I think she just didn't want them to push the tour back.

Tonight was the last night of the Europe leg of the LM5 tour. We are now on our way home. We have a few days off before the UK and Ireland leg of the tour begins. She hasn't told her mom everything that happened either, much to my urging. It did end up on the news that she was hospitalized, of course, but she lied to her parents. She said she doesn't want to worry them.

Jade and I decided we were going to stay at her place together, and by that I mean I refuse to leave her side. I get pretty worried that if I don't have my eyes on her at all times that something bad is gonna happen. She has been having anxiety attacks lately. She keeps saying it's not because of what happened, but I know it is. She didn't use to have them, and she can't lie to me.

Jade and I keep have mini fights because she wont change in front of me. She keeps saying that her scars make her ugly. Then I get mad at her for calling herself ugly. Then she cries. She wont even let me touch her on the waist anymore. I love her, I really do, but it's exhausting knowing she hates herself so much for something she had no control over. But she blames herself for what happened, no matter how many times I tell her it wasn't her fault.

We are all on our way to the Airport to fly home, and Jade is asleep on my shoulder and I can't help but smile at how peaceful she looks. That's been a rarity lately. The car comes to a stop, as we arrive at the drop off terminals.

"Jadey, it's time to wake up." I whisper as I move a few strands of hair behind her ear and give her a kiss on her forehead. I feel her stir in her sleep. "No Pez, I'm tired." I laugh at her whining. "I know Jadey, but we still have two hours before our plane leaves, you can sleep on my lap in the airport." I see her smile, and she pulls her head up off my shoulder. We share a quick peck on the lips and exit the car. We gather our bags, thank our driver and meet Leigh-Anne and Jesy who are waiting by the entrance doors.

"Had to wake the beast I see." Jesy jokes. Jade gives her the finger and we make our way into the airport to go through baggage claim. Our Security pushing reporters away asking about my time in the Hospital. I was told not to answer any questions, though I felt that was stupid, and so did the girls. Jade and Jesy have been on edge with each other lately. I'm pretty sure Jesy knows that Jade and I didn't tell the entire truth as to what happened. Leigh-Anne was just happy Jade was okay, but Jesy and Jade keep fighting and Jade wont let me help. It's all getting too much. They aren't even speaking at this point.

On stage they are good at faking it, they play all "buddy, buddy," but the minute we are no longer around fans, they don't speak to each other, and if they do, they just fight. Everyone is tired of the fighting. Jesy keeps asking me to tell her, but she knows I can't. She's just frustrated and I get it. I would be too. But it's not my secret to tell, and she knows it.

We make our way through security and baggage claim and I find a spot to sit. Jade curls up in my lap, and I put my hands in her hair, scraping my nails across her scalp, feeling her relax into my body as she falls into a deep sleep.

"Is she asleep?" Jesy's question breaks me from my thoughts. I nod my head. "Good." I hear shuffling and I look up from my phone to see that Jesy has moved into the seat in between Leigh-Anne and me. "Can you please tell us what really happened now?" She asks, and I want to tell them, I do. They are my best friends, but it's not my story to tell. And hell, even I don't know the entire story. I only know what the nurse blurted. I'm pretty sure Jade was never gonna tell anyone, let alone me. But I know, and I don't push her, but I want to know more. But I know she doesn't want to talk about it. So I don't push.

I nod my head, "No Jes, I can't. It's not my story to tell. Besides, I would have to know the story to tell it." I see her eyes fall upon the sleeping girl in my lap. "You know I don't like fighting with her Pez. It's just that I feel like she's pushing us away because of what happened, and I don't want to lose my best friend over whatever it was that happened to her. All we know is she was attacked. That's all you told us. I don't believe that's all that happened, and even though she wont say it. I know Leigh doesn't either."

I nodded in agreement. Knowing that my friends were just worried, and so was I. But if Jade isn't willing to talk about what happened, we can't force her. As much as we want to, we can't.

We sit in silence until the announcer informs us that it is time to board our plane. Jesy and Leigh-Anne get up and grab their bags, "I'll meet you guys. Have to wake her up." They nod and make their way to the line of people making their way onto the plane. "Jadey, it's time to wake up babe." I hear her mumble something, but I wasn't able to make it out, but she wasn't making any effort to wake up. "Jade come on, or we will miss the plane." Then I hear it. She's not talking to me.

"NO! Please it hurts. Just kill me." My hear shattered into a billion pieces. I knew she was having nightmares about that night, but she had never talked in her sleep, not once. I froze, and heard the final announcement, shaking me out of my thoughts. "Jade, Jade come on we have to go wake up." I shake her a bit, and she finally wakes up, a bit of sweat running down her forehead. I grab our bags, and a very tired Jade who is half walking and half being dragged by me, and we make our way onto the plane.

I feel tears fall down my face as Jade lays her head on my shoulder, falling back to sleep once we make it to our seat. It doesn't matter if I'm with her all the time. I can't protect her from her own dreams, and that thought breaks my heart. "She wanted to die..." I whisper cry to myself, and I'm no longer able to keep back my sobs. "My Jadey wanted to die..."