Embers and Ashes

Chapter 22

(Dear Readers,

I want to start this off with giving this chapter a Trigger Warning for those who have delt with sexual assult. I have kept the discription as tame as possible, but I feel that it is important to keep in mind everyone have different degrees of pain and ways of dealing with it. Mine is too keep experiences in literature. Yes, even fanfiction. I do not care if it has become sort of a clieche in literature. Keeping woman's safety in mind and having people to talk to that believe you is important.

I unforchanetly have not had a lot of time to write this chapter to begin with, or time to edit it, but I feel like it needed to get done, and I want to try and update as frequently as possible to keep myself motivated.

Thank you for your time.

Love,
Lady Thyme)

Melona 

   It wasn’t anything good. If anything his condition has worsened and it breaks my heart to see him chained and bound with leather to a healing table. Of course it was for the Healers protection, but to watch him thrash and snarl as his mind tries to rely on it’s base was painful. The creatures we all used to be clawing it’s way to the surface out of fear, out of necessity.

   Only settling when I came into his line of sight.

   “Amara?”, he murmurs with a fogged look in his eyes. “No, my Amara is gone now. She’s left us. You’re the little one she bore. Melona.”

    Confusion settles in my mind as I approach his side with caution. “Yes Tyren. It’s me. Melona”, I smile.

   “You have your mother’s eyes little one”, he smiles fondly, but winces and curls in on himself with a gasp. When he looks at me next there is anger. “You little cursed creature. It’s your fault! You let my Amara get killed. She died for you, and look at you. Barely half the woman she was. I raised you better. Better then to trust that red haired prick.”

   “Tyren?”, I call trying to calm him. Praying that what was left of him could still see reason.

    “Tyren, you know I couldn’t have done anything to stop mother from being killed. I was eight. I was terrified”, I try to explain.

    “She was my mate! My mate! And you let her die!”, he bellows. Struggling against the metal and leather that held him.

    This revelation struck me to my core. It felt like I had a blade punched through my chest. I can’t breath.

   Tyren and my mother. Mates?

   An all too familiar hand grasps my shoulder. Startling me from my shock and I could remember to breath again as I looked up at Eris solemn features.

   “You shouldn’t be here”, Eris murmurs. Not as a demand or degradingly. More out of concern.

    “I want to help”, I plead with him. “Tyren was there for me in some of the worst times of my life. I can’t leave him like this.”

    “There is not much left any of us can do for him Melona”, he warns.

    “Please. Please trust me. Let me try”, I beg. 

    He looks between me and the thrashing male lain up on the table. A look of pity in his eyes. Weather for Tyren or for me having to watch him in this state I couldn’t fully tell but he nods slowly. Letting me go.

    I take my steps slowly as Tyren looks at me again, but spots Eris standing firmly behind me. Silent, but ever watchful.

    Tyren starts to laugh. Bitterly and manically. “Come to haunt me again Cato? I guess that’s what I get for putting you in that forest. Letting you get eaten by foul and wild dogs. Never can put yourself back together. No rest for the wicked. Well”, he spits in Eris direction with his gaze unfocused. “Well, you wont get repentance from me. Not after how you tried to hurt my Princess. You scared her. The only gift Amara let me have, the child Themos let me raise. She might be the reason I wake up empty every morning, but she is also the reason I still draw breath. You broke her trust. You deserve no rest. I hope you fester.”

    I pause in my walk towards him. Looking back at Eris who is now glancing between Tyren and me. His jaw tight in white hot rage, but he doesn’t move a muscle.

   I have to tell him what happened.

    Once again I move forward. Placing my hands with glowing gold on his forehead. “Rest dear friend,” I murmur and his eyes grow heavy and shut.

    Before we left Eris grabbed the head Healer by the arm. Firmly enough that she whimpered and bowed her head.

   “You tell anyone about what you herd hear today and I promise your life will become very very difficult. My father will not hear a word of it until I have told him”, he seeths.

   “Eris”, I try to calmly stop him.

   “None of you will”, he snarls at the others in the room. “Do I make myself clear?”

    The whole room gives a course of “Yes Sir” before he releases his grip and the poor shaking female scurries away.

    “You didn’t have to scare her like that”, I tell him gently.

    “The things he is saying can get you killed. Fever induced or not. He sounds like he’s making you out to be a illegitimate child. Maybe I am wrong in that thinking, Caldron I hope so. If your father allowed him to Sire you through your mother that would mean your father has lied about your heritage. No one lies to my father and does not get a lashing in return. I do not want that loss to be you”, he growls. Glaring down at every nurse as they pass.

   I take his hand.

   “Can we talk about this elsewhere”, I beg. He parts his glare from the room and to me. His eyes softening when he glances over my face. Nodding before winnowing us away.

~

   “We can send for my Father. As far as I can tell they have no hard feelings towards each other if what Tyren is saying is true. It might calm Tyren’s mind a little to see his old friend, and then father can maybe explain the circumstances to us both”, I offer as Eris leans against a porch doorframe on one of the upper level rooms. His own of course. He doesn’t look at me. Just glares at the inner wall of the palace fortress.

   “. . . Your mother has allowed me to write to my brother and get them out of the Court to Thesan well enough. Maybe if father demands to come visit it wont look as suspicious”, I try again, but no answer. My heart slowly growing cold in fear as I sit on the couch and wring out my hands.

   “Eris. . . Eris please talk to me”, I beg softly.

    “I can’t loose you”, he mutters.

    “You wont”, I try to reassure him.
 
   “No!”, he hisses and turns to me. Quieting when he sees me jump. “No. You don’t understand. For the first time in my life I have a chance. A chance at having someone in my life that doesn’t hate me. I can’t loose that Melona, I don’t think I can bare it. You have no idea what happened to me after Morrigan. Everyone cries and weeps for her.

    Why am I the bad guy of that story?! I never wanted to marry her in the first place! I never asked to be married off at all. I was completely content on my own.

  Then I met her that one time, and I thought maybe, just maybe, it would work. She was wild and wonderful. She could mouth off to my father without fear. I thought I had a chance.

   Then she goes off and f-s Cassian to get out of it all. She new full well what she was doing. What would happen.

    By her peoples standards she made a mistake. She was punished. I had no control over that.

   She dangled hope in front of me and crushed it. Yes I make nasty remarks on it, but what else was I supposed to do. She wanted out? Fine! I gave her a way out. I didn’t want her to be stuck with me if she went through such great lengths to get out of it.

    So yes, I left her in the forest. I left her there because I knew what sort of male Rhysand is. He wouldn’t leave her there to die. He wouldn’t, but if I brought her over that would be me making a claim. She would be “my problem” and if Rhysand tried to take her away my Father would wage war just out of spite. I didn’t want that. So I stayed. I made my men go on their rounds and I watched from afar. Begging someone to come get her. I was about to give in when that Shadow Singer came and got her.

    I let them go in peace. I let her go have the life she wanted.

    Now I have you. I can’t loose you too. I can’t loose you because you are a Bastard born. I cannot watch another death like Jesminda’s.

   I’ll break, and I’ll have nothing more to give the world but whatever darkness my father put in me.”

    We sit in silence for a long time.

    Truth for truth. It's time I tell him.

    “After the war, after loosing my mother, I was terrified of everything. The only person that had ever made me feel safe was Cato.

   My brother had this group of friends that all worked together during the war. Cato was one of the newer members. Just a common city kid who grew up in the back streets and made his way though the ranks as the war went on.

   After, they followed Thesan around everywhere, and I followed them around.

   Cato was. . . alive in a way I never really could fully understand. Very much the kind of person to speak his mind and leap before looking. He made me smile, and shared his love of life with me. Got me into all sorts of trouble.

   The only problem was his anger. Along with his fire for life was a fire that seemed to fester from something very dark. He never seemed to quiet fully get control of.

    Once a group of rebels against my father tried to kidnap me off the streets. He killed every single one, and made what happened to my mother look like child’s play. 

   I thought if he had someone that was kind to him in his life that it would help. I was stupid and naïve, and wanted nothing more then to fill this void in me that wouldn’t be filled by my father and brother’s constant ignorance of me.

   So we grew closer. Too close.

   Around when I was fifteen we were just chatting away in my room. Nothing we hadn’t done before. Once subject went to another and somehow we started to kiss”, my stomach lurching at the next part but I take a shaky breath and motor on. 

   “Cato wanted way more way too fast. It got to the point where he had me pinned, and that’s when my mind told me things were not going right. I tried to tell him to get off. That I didn’t want it, but he kept going. At one point he had started choking me when I got too loud and I couldn’t call for help.

   He tried to get my clothes off but my fear spiked and my power manifested for the first time.

   My shield exploded around me to protect me. It had thrown Cato against the walls. His neck and spine had snapped on impact, but I had no control and I completely destroyed the area my room was in.”

    Eris looks at me. His skin pain and he didn’t look quite sure if he should be horrified or enraged.

   “That’s why you where so scared when I kissed your neck”, he mutters more to himself as he puts everything together. I nod as he sits beside me on the couch.

   “He never got what he wanted but people still treated me like he had. Like I had been the one that should be blamed for wanting to trust someone. All I wanted was to feel safe again, and for so long I couldn’t. And you. . . I asked you to stop and you did”, I smile though tears.

   “. . . Thank you for telling me this. You didn’t have to”, he murmurs.

    “No. I did. If we’re going to be together, you deserve to know. You deserve to know that what we have, even if it’s small, it means a lot to me. And I pray for the poor sod who tries to separate us because I will not let them live”, I grit my teeth. “I feel safe with you Eris, and I can promise you that no one is going to take that from me. Not even Beron.”

   “. . . I’m sorry for snapping”, he mutters. “I’ve never really had what I have with you before . Telling you all that. About what happened with Morrigan. . . I really had hoped that she had liked me enough to try, and she flirted something awful. I really thought she liked me. . . It was a knife to the heart when I learned about her and Cassian. . . but I should have handled it better. I just keep loosing so much. I don’t want to loose you too”

    “We live and learn Eris. Just please try to be a little kinder on the subject. I love Rhysand and his family as my own, and I know what Morrigan went through. It hurts the way people treat you when you love the wrong person”, I sigh softly. “Especially when you are female.”

    Eris nods and takes my hand in his.

   “I believe you. That you are still a virgin, and to be honest I don’t think I would give a shit anymore. I’m just glade Tyren did something the asswhole”, he growls softly.

   I nod. “We had made a funeral for him. To protect me from rumors my father made up the story that a bomb had gone off from an assassination attempt. That Cato had died trying to stop it”, I sigh heavily. “The next day the grave was found dug up and empty. In the Dawn Court if someone isn’t laid to rest properly they haunt where they are left. A fitting punishment I suppose.”

   “All those years you’d have to suffer through people thinking that he was good. Giving sympathy”, he grits his teeth in annoyance. “I’d have gone insane.”

   “I almost did. That’s why I went to serve at the temple for a long time”, I admit. But smile softly“. . . But that’s also when I started dreaming about you. Even if I didn’t know who you were yet, you still gave me hope.”

   “. . . I’ll write to your father this evening. Until then, we’ll deal with this one day at a time”, he murmurs and lifts my hand to his lips.

   “One day at a time”, I nod with a smile as we sit together. Knowing each other a bit better.