Flowers

Chapter 16

"I'm so sorry," Wooseok's heart is squeezing so much, finding it difficult to breathe, to bring oxygen into his body but Jinhyuk keeps talking, his thumbs moving back and forth against his cheekbones, his eyes so sad that Wooseok looks away. "I'm so fucking sorry I've made you go through so much I-"

Wooseok attempts to take a step back, letting go of Jinhyuk's shirtfront. "Don't apologize, its not an apology what I want Jinhyuk, I just need closure, please give me that so I can move on please." Wooseok begs, his eyes still brimming with tears that keep escaping him, tears that Jinhyuk still brushes away so tenderly making Wooseok melt a little inside no matter how he tries to stop it. Jinhyuk pulls on his face, forcing Wooseok to look up at him and also keeping him in place, not allowing him to move away.

"Hear me out, let me speak." Desperation bleeds into Jinhyuk's voice, his eyes are filling with guilt and hurt, a look Wooseok was not looking forward to creating, even less to see. He knew his friend would blame himself for Wooseok's pain even when there was no way of him knowing he had been hurting him, just like Wooseok feels guilt for hurting Seungyoun.

That's the thought that makes him nod, accepting to give Jinhyuk a chance to speak because Seungyoun had given him the same chance. The older takes in a deep breathe, letting go of Wooseok's face. His hands drop to hang by his sides and his eyes glancing up at the ceiling as he thinks about what to say, as he tries to put his thoughts in order.

After what feels like ages but probably was just a minute or two, Jinhyuk glances back at him, once again his eyes stare at him so intensely that Wooseok wouldn't be able to move even if he wanted to, Jinhyuk's dark eyes keeping him frozen in place.

"Remember when you mentioned how you couldn't go up to whoever made your flower bloom when you have that gloxinia on your neck?" Wooseok of course remembers, its what he had told Jinwoo after he told them about the time he bloomed the gloxinia, it was the first time he feared he left himself too open for Jinhyuk to read because of how he had been starting to accept his feelings for him. Wooseok nods, confused as to where is Jinhyuk going with his question.

The corners of Jinhyuk's lips curve upwards into a small smile but even when it's not as broad and beaming as his usual ones, Wooseok's heart still flutters in reaction. Jinhyuk's right hand moves up to cup his cheek for a moment before it slides down to his neck, to his gloxinia that still burns even when Wooseok knows its all inside his head.

"Can you imagine how hard it must be to fall in love with someone who you met with a bright and healthy-looking gloxinia on their neck?" Jinhyuk softly asks, the look in his eyes becoming warmer with each word that he speaks, his dark eyes focused on following the movement of his fingertips as they trace the petals of Wooseok's flower. "Knowing from the start that they're so in love with someone out there, not knowing who they are and not being able to ask because you just know they don't want to be asked, their flower never giving signs of wilting showing how they still love them even when they don't even want to confess."

Wooseok's left hand shakily moves up to place it on top of Jinhyuk's, the older's eyes finally looking away from his flower and into Wooseok's teary eyes. "Don't do this to me," Jinhyuk frowns confused so Wooseok continues, his voice trembling "Don't give me false hope, please."

Wooseok reads in Jinhyuk's expression how his words hurt him but he can't find it in himself to care, no when he's trying to protect his own heart from breaking further. "I'm sorry for having been such a coward, I didn't want to burden you with my own feelings when you clearly were struggling with your own." Wooseok can't find a single sign of a lie in Jinhyuk's tone nor in his eyes but even then he can't believe him.

"What about Byungchan?" Jinhyuk shakes his head and a chuckle escapes him, Wooseok fails to get what can be funny about his question. He doesn't realize he's frowning until Jinhyuk uses his other hand to smooth out the lines between his eyebrows, the gesture so tender Wooseok's cheeks heat up.