Taking a hot shower was something I really needed. There’s something about hearing the clatter of water and nothing else. The smell of soap and shampoo lifting your spirits, hot water running down your back like a soothing caress. In there I convinced myself of many things: that I would be alright, that things would get better. Or sometimes I rather shut down my thoughts and listened to my slow breathing.
I had woken up early, anxious to get out of the house. My dad had already left for work and he wouldn’t be coming back until later this evening. There were a few things to be done today, one of them being grocery shopping. It felt strange to do such an ordinary thing now, with all the other things on my mind.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. It was as humid outside as it was inside the shower, my skin still damp after I tried to dry it. Even though I loved the summer, the humidity that came with it was a right pain. I left the bathroom door open, rummaging through my drawer to find a pair of boxers that wouldn’t be too tight. My bedroom window was wide open, but not a single rush of air came through, only the sun’s scorching rays.
After deciding what to wear, I put on a pair of denim shorts and a white tank top, paired with my white converse. I was about to close my window when I passed my mirror and stopped in my tracks. Pouting, I brushed my hand through my floppy, lifeless curls. Another side effect of the hot weather. My feet carried me back to my chest of drawers, dropping down to my knees so I could search through the bottom one.
I didn’t really know what I was looking for, but I paused when my hand brushed a soft fabric. Pulling it out of the mess, I discovered it was a scarf. It was black with skulls on it, the fabric light and see-through. I couldn’t really remember buying it, but it would do the job. Closing the drawer, I stood in front of the mirror again and tied the scarf around my head like a headband. It didn’t look too bad, and kept my hair out of my face.
Shrugging, I stuffed my wallet, phone and keys in my pocket and hurried down the stairs. When you open the front door during any other season, there’s usually a small change of climate. But this day, it was all the same: hot and humid. After sitting down in my jeep, I made sure to roll down all the windows. I turned on the ignition and eased onto the road. First destination: supermarket.
***
It wasn’t that bad.
I had gotten everything I needed, receiving a few stares and sad looks, but nobody actually tried to talk to me. After unpacking the groceries at home in a hurry, I sped off towards Zayn. There was an odd churning feeling in my stomach whenever I thought of him. It must be because of yesterday’s discovery. What else could it be?
I was driving down the road that would lead me to that familiar forest edge, and upon reaching it I could still see the faint print of my tire tracks where I parked my jeep last time. The fear that had a hold on me last time was replaced by anxiety, scratching at the insides of my stomach. Keeping my pace slow, I brushed aside the branches, feeling some of them brush against my legs.
Small beads of sweat were forming on my forehead as well as my back. Taking a short hike in the forest in this weather was quite uncomfortable, my tank top sticking to my back. I stopped when I reached the opening to the meadow, wiping away the sweat with the back of my hand. With my eyes trained on the double doors, I took a deep breath and increased my pace. I jogged up the steps, stretching out my hand to wrap it around the doorknob.
