Zayn didn’t give me much time to think about our first kiss before he was moving on to the second, applying his lips to mine with more pressure this time. Once the initial thought of we’re kissing had worn off, I was able to focus on different things. Like how my hands were still floating in the water – which wasn’t right, because they belonged on Zayn, on his shoulders, on any bit of skin I could reach. He seemed to be thinking of the same thing, because almost at the same time we reacted, grabbing at the nearest part of each other and gasping into each other’s mouths, because it felt different to touch like this, to touch with meaning and purpose. With his soft lips against mine, he made me feel hot and cold at the same time, shivers passing through me and leaving fire in their wake.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten myself into this, but it was never really my choice to make. It was made for me, possibly when my dad refused to look for Zayn. Thinking back on it, I owed him so much. Pushing him away like that wasn’t a smart thing to do, because I was going to need him, need him more than I could realise at that moment. But with Zayn running his hands along my arms and his lips hovering over mine, I couldn’t be too bothered by it.
‘’Harry.’’ It wasn’t a question, or a statement. It was just my name, breathed against my lips, with an intensity that made my stomach flip. I finally opened my eyes, meeting Zayn’s gaze. I just looked at him, with no intentions, no particular reason. Just look and take in the other person. Inspecting the curve of his upper lip, seeing the beginnings of facial hair and generally just admiring his prominent features.
‘’You’re staring at me,’’ Zayn mumbled, burying his face in my neck. I chuckled at his shyness, placing my hand at the back of his neck in a comforting gesture. That was how we remained for a while, leaning on each other and breathing in the forest air while the water kept us cool. The colour of the sky was gradually starting to change, and that was when I realised it was already late afternoon.
‘’Zayn, I- it’s getting late,’’ I spoke, interrupting the peaceful silence. He pulled away from me, looking up at the sky and nodding. We didn’t speak much while we got out of the water and put our clothes back on. Not because we didn’t want to, we simply didn’t have to. To be able to enjoy someone’s company without having to talk felt freeing – no pressure of saying the wrong things. Hiking back took less time, since Zayn knew where we were going. I had been afraid that as soon as we got closer it would be awkward, but it seemed like we were both on the same page here: we liked each other. A lot. I noticed it in the way he held my hand, or just touched me in general. Because that was the point really – he didn’t have to touch me, didn’t need to. But he still did. Brushed his hand along my back, let his fingers linger at my neck or squeezed my arm softly as we walked. Evidently he was a more practised hiker, because I often got behind trying not to trip over roots or get slapped in the face by a branch. But in the end, we reached the edge of the meadow. Both in one piece.
‘’Are we doing more research tomorrow?’’ Zayn asked, glancing at me while we walked towards the mansion. He sounded a bit apprehensive, which I understood. Research wasn’t my favourite thing to do either, because it only reminded me of our situation. The situation I had been able to mostly forget about today.
‘’I guess so,’’ I sighed, stopping at the bottom of the stairs and turning towards Zayn. He nodded solemnly, looking at the large mansion sadly before giving me a small smile.
‘’I’ll see you then,’’ he said, closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me. I wouldn’t mind getting used to that, having him close to me. He smelled of forest and nature, something earthy that eased my nerves. It was easy to lose myself like this, but eventually I pulled back and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. I couldn’t make myself say goodbye, so I just watched as he walked up the stairs, looking back one last time before disappearing inside.
I was running out of time, so I half-jogged back to my jeep, yanking open the door as soon as I reached it. Looking at the clock on my dash, I realised it would be a close call. Mostly when I got home from visiting Zayn, I’d put on fresh clothes to cover up that I had been in the forest and then got started on dinner. This time, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it in time to do that. I quickly started my car and sped off, the tires squeaking slightly as I made a sharp turn. How could I have been so reckless? Slowing down fuelled my frustration, but I couldn’t exactly just race through town. My stomach actually managed to completely vanish by the time I pulled into our street, only to see my father’s car already parked in front of our house. This was one of those rare days he was home early. Coming up with a plan was deemed impossible, my nerves scrambling up my thoughts. So when I parked my jeep next to my dad’s and he came strolling out of the house, I simply swallowed and decided to just go with things.
‘’You can imagine my surprise when I didn’t find you home,’’ my dad started when I stepped out of my jeep, taking on an authorative tone. I wasn’t given any time to reply before he continued, more surprised this time.
‘’Did you go swimming?’’ Damp spots were still evident on my clothes, and my hair also wasn’t completely dry. I felt like a caged animal, no clue what to do.
‘’Yea, I just th-‘’
‘’Where do you keep going off to, Harry?’’ he insisted, crossing his arms against his chest. Caught. That’s what I was. And it was the worst possible timing ever. I was trying hard not to panic, because my dad was still expecting an answer, but I couldn’t come up with anything. My mind was a complete blank, not a plausible explanation to be found.
‘’Look, I know you’re up to something and I trust you enough to tell me yourself. So I’m not going to force you. You’ll come around eventually, but before that happens, I just want to remind you that you’ve got a life right here. So tomorrow we’re going to do something stupid together. Like we always used to,’’ he finished, ears turning red like they always did when he was getting himself worked up.
What was hard to believe was the fact that he apparently had known for a while, but still managed to not question me about it. It was in his nature to do so. I nodded frantically, waiting for him to continue before realising he probably wanted me to say something. Was he expecting me to confess already? He deserved to know the truth, but now was not the time.
‘’Don’t worry, dad. It’s not something I can tell you about right now, but you have to trust me this once. Please just-,’’ I tried to convince him, but words failed me. This had to be one step in the right direction, right? Admitting I was up to something was better than keeping him completely in the dark, and hopefully this temporary answer would be enough.
‘’Fine, then. Go and get changed, we’ll discuss tomorrow’s plans over dinner. I’m ordering in,’’ he grumbled, turning halfway through his sentence to start walking back towards our front door. The knot in my stomach tightened at the sight, images of Zayn closing his front door flashing through my mind. Zayn. I didn’t want to know what he would do if I didn’t show up tomorrow. Balancing these two lives was close to impossible and I could only describe it as trying to keep a stack of books balanced on your head.
Eventually they would fall off, and everyone would get hurt.
Harry's got himself into quite the situation..
Thank you so much for reading, commenting and voting! There are more than 200 votes already which is.. well for me that's a lot :) The next update is on Thursday!
Until then xxx <3
