bruises (yoongi)

part 16

You woke up the next morning, your eyes swollen from crying and your back hurting from sleeping on the air bed your mum had. Her sofa was too small and there was no spare bed at her place.
You checked the time and realised you were too late to go to work so you emailed your manager again, telling him you were still 'ill'
You got up to go for a shower and spotted a note on the mirror
Hi honey, I have a parcel coming today so can you answer the door when its delivered for me? Thanks lovey xx PS: text him!
You smiled at your mum's honesty but took the post-it note off the mirror and crumpled it in your hands, chucking it in the bin and chucking the advice.
You got into a clean set of PJs after your shower, brushed your teeth and found solace back on the sofa. You wrapped your body with the blanket and tried to numb to sorrow that rushed through your body in waves. You sat there in silence for a moment but the voice in your head was too much. You needed a distraction so you turned on the TV and tuned into daytime TV, turning the volume up rather loud to block out any internal monologue.
The things talked about on the channel you watched were mind-numbing so you tried channel surfing, but the channel you tuned into next started discussing the anticipated BTS comeback so you immediately flicked back to the boring show, at reflex speed. Your eyes glazed over as you sat there, still for a while.
Your daze was only interrupted by your stomach growling so you went to make some toast and a cup of tea.
You took your phone from the kitchen side and finally turned it on, for the first time since yesterday morning.
Your phone was flooded with notifications for a minute that you daren't look at, but when once calmed down, you took your food and sat at your mum's table to try and muster up the courage to go through them
Your messages had 12 notifications and phone had 4 so you clicked on the phone app first. 3 were from Yoongi and one was from your manager
Then when you checked messages, you had a few from your mum, one from an old friend and all the rest were from Yoongi. You sighed as you ignored them, reading your mum's, which were just good morning messages and messages asking if I was awake yet.
You read one from an old school friend who wanted to meet up one day for coffee, so you responded happily distracted and excited to see her.
But then you clicked on Yoongi's. It felt like your heart jolted with pain as you saw the long messages he left you, asking to talk and if you were okay.
Your tears returned as your body shook and you sobbed. You muted all notifications from Yoongi's number and then opened up your laptop, continuing to work on more tracks to submit to Bang Si-Hyuk for TXT. You didn't have to do that but you wanted to give him more options in case he didn't like some.
You worked on the tracks for a couple of hours, trying to distract yourself, before you heard the doorbell go.
You pulled your blanket back around your shoulders and opened the door, expecting to accept your mum's parcel. But that was far from what was at the door.
"Yoongi," you muttered. It was the only word you could say as you were dumbfounded. You were greeted with the face that had plagued your mind for hours upon hours.
"(Y/N)," he said, sounding relieved. "Please don't slam the door in my face, can you hear me out, just for a couple of minutes?"
You blinked twice, still in disbelief that he was here. "How did you find directions to here?" You dodged his question with one of your own.
"I may or may not have gotten in contact with your mum. Please don't be mad, I just want to talk," he spoke in a rushed way, knowing the time he had to speak to you was limited.
"You drove an hours distance just to talk?" You were genuinely confused.
"It's the only way I could, you're ignoring my calls.." he trailed off, looking at the ground now. You didn't respond. "But listen, I couldn't not talk to you after you left. When I read the letter, I just wanted to talk to you, please."
You nodded, and stood at the door. He looked at you, probably expecting you to invite him in but you didn't. You didn't want to lead him on any further.
"Okay, I read your letter and....I....I was at a loss for words. I wanted to respect you leaving because I thought maybe I had pushed things too far that night, but...your letter was something completely different from what I was expecting. Why do you think you don't deserve me?"
It was your turn to talk. "Yoongi, you are this amazing producer, amazing performer and more importantly, you're a great person. You deserve someone as equally perfect. And that's not me."
He shook his head, but couldn't hide the blush on his face. He put his hands on your shoulders, "(Y/N), I'm not perfect, no one is. You are amazing, and so talented and you-" your eyes teared as he spoke, you couldn't handle it.
"Stop," you interrupted him. "Please stop." You scrunched your eyes closed and more tears fell.
He took his hands off of you and stepped back a little. You wiped your eyes again and looked up at him. "I don't know who you see when you look at me, but you're clearly mistaken. I'm sorry for making you think I'm someone that I'm not."
"(Y/N), you don't understand. I've known you for years, I know you better than you think I do. Please don't push me away. Even if you don't want to be... together.... you're my best friend," you smiled sadly at the crack in his voice.
"And you're mine, Min Yoongi," He smiled when he heard that. "But anything beyond that and you're kidding yourself."
"Why do you think so lowly of yourself? You're like my favourite person!" He smiled showing his gums. That was your weakness and it was like he knew as he waited for a reaction, but you were just trying to tune out his voice. It hurt to hear him say such nice things that you knew were just lies.
"Can you at least come back to my place? We can start over from scratch, just please don't freeze me out," he pleaded. You shook your head. "When are you coming back to work?"
"I don't know. A few more days maybe. But for now... I need to leave you alone." You stepped back and tried to close the door but he pushed it on the other side. "Please don't do this," he exclaimed, his voice shaky. You had never heard him so upset. And it killed you what he said next.
"I love you."
But you couldn't let him fool himself like that. You shut the door on him and said, "I'll see you at work."