Holding Back [COMPLETED]

Chapter 39 - "Why do you care?"

Haley was made of glass and the words were cracking, fracturing her. If she stayed there a second longer she would shatter, all that would be left would be jagged shards that would cut others and make them bleed. Breath coming in shallow bursts, she spun away.

"We can work this out," her mother said.

The tired note sliced through Haley's chest, but it was her father's reply that was the pickaxe to her failing control.

"That's what we've been trying to do for the last six months."

Barely aware of what she was doing, Haley ran back to the car and jumped in. The engine came alive and with it the music that had been blaring moments before. Shaking, she pulled away from the house and drove off.

She was blind to where she was headed, blind to most things around her. Her heart was slamming against her chest, urging her to run faster, further away.

She gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white with the effort. Her mind was a storm she couldn't escape. Neighborhoods blurred and faded until she was just one car among others, racing to...she didn't know where.

Every inch of her was screaming like she was being stretched to the point where she could simply snap. Six months of watching the family around her splinter were compounded into this moment. Music continued to rage around her, the lead singer baring his heart and very soul.

When he began to scream, it struck a chord in Haley and everything inside she exploded. She screamed.

She screamed like it had been caged inside her forever and if she didn't let it go then it would rip her open from the inside. She screamed, wanting it to make her throat raw, give her something more than the cutting pain in her chest. She screamed because her world was shattering and she was helpless.

She released everything she had been holding onto. Hours, days, weeks, months of wanting to burst were torn out of her through her throat. Emotions she had stuffed were wrenched out of the hole they had been buried in. Memories of being so alone were yanked free and flung into the night.

When her throat would no longer work and her lungs were begging for a rest, she became aware of the world around her. In the darkness, vague familiarity returned to her. Dazed by the distance she had traveled, she took an exit and navigated her way through neighborhoods with whitewashed houses and palm trees. The street spit her out before an expanse of ocean. The sight of the endless water, undulating and mirroring the sky drew her forward.

As she climbed out of the car, she was bone-weary. All that she had was spent or left behind on some stretch of highway. She climbed over the dividing wall and dropped to the sand. It instantly found gaps in her shoes and wormed its way inside. Haley didn't care.

She stopped at the water's edge, letting the plain of midnight blue gather up all her strangling thoughts and shredded emotions and carry it off. She sank to the ground, kicking off her shoes and wrapping her arms around her knees. The hush of the waves acted as a balm.

When she heard the patter of footsteps approaching, she didn't look back. She couldn't find it in herself to be afraid or cautious, she was hallowed out. A shadow reached her before someone settled down next to her. She didn't look over, knowing from just the corner of her eye who it was.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice a harsh rasp.

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence and the endless sea.

"I was coming home when I saw you run a stop sign," Jace said. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Haley rested her chin on her knees. "Why do you care?"