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first person pov 6 - Hyunjin

I can't sleep, I'm giddy and buzzing. I think I'm going to feel his lips on mine forever.

I wanted to call him, see if he wanted to come over but didn't want to push him.

Now I'm really wishing I would have. It's almost two in the morning.

I want to do something for him. I want to show him what that kiss meant to me. That it wasn't just an impulsive decision.

And that's when I remember the starbursts he gave me. I've eaten probably half of them and I've saved all the wrappers.

I unlock my phone to see what I can do with starburst wrappers and I see my wallpaper, the first sunset I'd ever seen him photograph. The colors are perfect, and the scale is good.

It's exactly what I need.

I pull up the full picture on Instagram and find a square piece of cardboard.

By the time I have the materials I need it's already almost three in the morning, and I know I won't be able to sleep tonight. This is more important.

I trace out the silhouettes, still undecided as to how I'm filling them in, and then I work on the colors of the sunset. It's harder than I'd expected to make a realistic ombré from starburst wrappers, but I have enough to layer until it's believable.

It's three-thirty in the morning and I'm eating starbursts. They taste like Seungmin did.

I don't even have the brain space to think about how he's feeling. I'm trying so hard to avoid the thoughts that are working their way into my brain, I can't even think about the possibility of him not wanting what I want.

If he doesn't I can figure it out later. He kissed me. He made that move.

My tongue and lips are stained orange and pink and my stomach is just a little queasy from the sugar and I'm wide awake. I wonder if Seungmin always tastes like starbursts. Maybe I'll get to find out again.

Maybe I'm looking forward to that.

It's not until my alarm goes off that I realize this is going to take a lot longer than I'd originally thought. I'm just over halfway through and I definitely don't have time to finish.

I get up and leave the remains of the project on the floor, closing my door so Kkami can't get in, and get ready for school. Despite not sleeping at all last night I'm wide awake, adrenaline coursing through my body.

I get to see him this morning. I get to see him this morning.

Him.

Seungmin.

What an odd an incredibly wonderful meaning his name has to me now.

I'm embarrassingly excited to see him.

I'm ready too early, waiting by my door for at least fifteen minutes before the time we usually leave for school.

I'm so desperate to have those poisonous thoughts out of my mind, I can't make any judgments about how he feels. I'm trying to think about the paint or paper I will use on the silhouettes and how to seal it and if a glossy or super-glossy finish would look better. Is he going to regret it? Does he already? STOP. Maybe matte finish?

And then he steps out of his house.

He's wearing his uniform, hastily ironed and tie undone. No makeup.

And he's smiling.

No, he's beaming.

And when he smiles it feels like it's formulated just to stop my heart, I'm breathing too fast. It's like his entire being is glowing.

I open my door too quickly, and now it's obvious that I was waiting for him.

I don't care.

He's here. Seungmin. My Seungmin.

Can I call him my Seungmin?

If possible, his smile widens when he sees me. A burst of joy rushes through my chest. I can't help but smile back at him.

"Hey," he says, as I walk over, and the sound of his voice shooting through my brain like too much caffeine.

"Seungmin" I'm out of breath, and it sounds ridiculous.

He laughs at me.

"Running late?"

"Maybe."

If only he knew.

I'm standing in front of him now, watching him. I realize that I'm just scared enough of this moment with him that I can't make a move. I know it's irrational, especially considering how difficult it must have been for him to make the move he did last night, but I don't want to push him.

Except I really want to touch him, to grab his hand or run my fingers over his cheek and his nose and trace the line of his jaw.

I know that if I stand watching him for much longer I will, so I turn around and start walking towards the bus stop.

He joins me, walking directly next to me, and neither of us are talking. The silence is unusually uncomfortable, and I'm wondering again if I did something wrong. Maybe I should have said something?

I'm about to ask him about it when we come across the abandoned street we always walk by. He stops, grabbing my arm to stop me, and leans up to kiss me.

Only our lips are touching.

His lips are warm and he smells like warm butter and dry shampoo. Our noses brush against each other as he shifts his head, and I feel his lips twitch into a smile, my head spinning with the feeling of it.

He pulls away and then I'm leaning forward, following them unconsciously. I move back, looking at him, and he's grinning, worrying his lip against his front teeth.

"Sorry, I wanted to do that when I first saw you this morning. I just don't know if you're out to your parents yet."

He's so thoughtful it makes me ache.

"Oh, thanks," I say, my voice coming out too breathy. Again.

It's quiet for a moment and I swear I can hear my heart beating.

"Hi," he says, smiling shyly.

"Hey," I say back.

He nods his head in the direction of the bus stop, and we walk together in a comfortable silence.

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I thought I'd have time to post tomorrow but I don't so I'll probably post two chapters tonight.

Feedback is always appreciated! thank you so much for reading <3

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