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first person pov 13 - Hyunjin

I wake up with my arm wrapped protectively around him, and I can't remember falling asleep but he's laying next to my on his bed, his breathes soft and slow. I can't reach my phone the sun is just starting to set so it can't be later than like six o'clock at night.

I don't want to wake him up, it's obvious he hasn't slept for a while, so I slide out quietly from behind him and find his bathroom, locking the door behind me.

My makeup is smudged under my eyes. My shoulders are physically drooping, heavy. His brain is working only against him, he's so far in. I don't know how to make him see that he's everything to me. He's not an obligation.

I run my hands under the cold water, scooping up a handful and splashing it over my face. My makeup is as good as gone now, there's no reason to be careful about it at this point.

All I can see when I look in the mirror is my eyes, puffy and red. They hold too much emotion. They make him feel like he's burdening me when he's doing the opposite. I want him to be open with me. I want to be able to talk about anything, rant and cry and shout. And fall asleep together like we did today.

I want him to know that he's not a burden, that I think about him every second of every day and that every time I see him my entire world lights up, he's like that moment in the Wizard of Oz movie where suddenly everything is in color and then everything makes. He's my world.

There's a knock on the bathroom door and I jump out of my skin, my heart beating too fast. I'm on edge, spooked.

I open the door slowly, and he's standing outside, his hair pushed up on one side and his eyes heavy with sleep.

"I thought you left," he said, and it's so vulnerable and unguarded.

And then he's hugging me but I didn't initiate it. It's all him.

And I'm hugging him back, and his arms are locked around my like he's never going to let me go.

"I didn't want to wake you up. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he says, his voice is light and gentle and so sweet.

We're still holding onto each other and I don't want it to stop. He pushes his face into my neck, kissing it softly, then kissing my shoulder before resting his forehead on it.

"We'll figure this out," he says and it's definitive, like there's no room for him to be wrong.

I nod against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

It's quiet for a beat as I try to determine what to say to him.

"Tell me now."

He takes a deep breath, and it's so shaky despite his composure up to this moment.

"I realized something," he says, and then blows out a harsh breath.

I try not to react, but I'm already making assumptions I shouldn't be making.

He takes another breathe, almost in pain, and I can't help but let my mind wander as to all of the possibilities, all of the situations that would make this so hard for him.

"Hyunjin I'm in love with you."

It's like he slammed me against a wall, every nerve ending in my body ruptures. I had no idea the effect those words would have on me. I pull away to look at him, and I'm staring at him with a scary intensity. I must look completely out of my mind

But he's staring back at me, his eyes steady, and I know that he's being sincere.

"Seungmin," I say and it's the only word I can process.

Seungmin. Love.

Seungmin.

"I love you," he says again, and he's still looking at me and he's saying it over and over again, I love you I love you I love you I love you.

"God, me too," I'm choking on every word I'm saying and it sounds so bad but I want him to know. He nods, too fast and too urgent, the tension in the room making everything too quick and important.

I reach out, resting my hands on his shoulders and breathing, my eyes closed, trying to calm down. This doesn't have to be so intense.

When I open my eyes he's still looking at me but his entire face has gone soft and silly, he's smiling like a maniac.

"This shouldn't be so nerve wracking," he laughs, and I can't help but laugh with him.

"Because I do love you," he says, and it's almost a whisper, and he looking up at me like I'm the only thing in the world that matters to him.

He kisses me softly, his lips lingering, and then he pulls away. He's smirking as he walks backwards out of the bathroom, holding eye contact, then turns around and walks towards his room.

I'm shocked, standing alone in the bathroom, before quickly following him into his room.

He's standing in front of his nightstand, the drawer open, and as he turns around I can see he's holding something in his hand.

I look up at him, curious, and he smiles widely, before pressing something into my hand.

"I found something interesting at the store the other day," he says, grinning widely, and I look down to see what it is.

In my hand are a handful of starbursts, wrapped in a color I don't think I've seen before in this type of candy. It a soft pink-orange color, and it hits me right before I read the label.

peach flavored starbursts candies

I look up at him, his laughing eyes, and I don't know what to say.

And then he leans up to kiss me and the entire world melts.

Because he's the center of my universe, the only thing that matters. He is my everything.



_____________________

-end-


well now we've officially established that I'm bad at concluding stories

thank you so much for all of the support on this book! it means more to me than you'll ever know <3

feedback is always appreciated!

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