Facade [h.s]

nineteen

The next day I had a plan to follow. I wasn't even completely sure that it was a good plan, but it was the only thing Harry has suggested me to do, so it would've been stupid not to at least try - even though I wasn't even that sure that it would've actually worked out.

It was probably my only chance to discover what was truly going on that didn't involve me doing something of extremely destructive - like asking Joel himself, or try to corner Indigo about it, or even then, bring Callie into the whole issue. Harry's option seemed the most careful way to obtain the best result, so I knew I had to at least try it.

So I woke up and went to class, trying my best to act like nothing was wrong. I put a bit of effort on what I was wearing, not wanting an external messiness to mirror the way I was feeling, and went to class, paying attention to the professor and talking to Indigo as if nothing had happened. Whether she sensed what was about to happen or not, she didn't let it show, and she too acted like the day before had never taken place.

After our last class ended we finally went out of the building, meeting Joel. Then too I managed to act normally - or as normally as I could, that is - in his presence, trying my best to pretend not to know what I truly knew.

Indigo too seemed to be completely clueless, and it made me wonder how long she'd been pretending. Had she known for days, weeks, months? I had no idea, and even though a part of me wished I did, the other was so incredibly happy I didn't. I didn't want to get madder at her than I already was - I knew it wouldn't have helped in the slightest, and I knew my anger would've been directly fuelled by that piece of knowledge.

It upset me to realise that for nobody knows how long she'd been lying to me, acting as if nothing was wrong and telling me off whenever I started suspecting something. Joel, too, had openly lied to my face without a care in the world. It made me wonder if there were more people around me that weren't telling me the truth. It wouldn't have surprised me if there were. I wondered how much Callie truly knew about the entire situation. Did she know nothing, just like me, or had she been carefully hiding the truth from me as well? I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Or even, someone I didn't know that well? Could someone like that know everything, and laugh at the darkness my supposed to be friends had trapped me in?

I shook my head. I knew I was letting the panic from my discovery get the best of me, and I knew it would've certainly led nowhere good. I needed my mind to be as clear as possible, or else I would've surely ended up doing more damage than good.

I wished Harry was there with me, he would've made everything much easier. I didn't even know why, but I just knew he would've. He was the kind of person that would've managed to make any situation much easier, it didn't matter how fucked it truly was.

I almost considered asking him to come to my house, but I knew that was an awful idea. Indigo surely wouldn't have been that helpful if she'd discovered he was the one behind it. I really did wish he could've come around, though, because my nervousness seemed to rise exponentially the longer time passed, and I didn't know what to do about it if not just trying to act like I was mostly fine, even though I definitely wasn't, simply not to worry Indigo.

I"d sent him a text earlier that day just to see if he seemed to have any interest in coming around my house to see what I was about to try to do, I'd cracked in the end. But he hadn't replied, and so, in the moment I unlocked my house with Indigo behind me, I knew it was just us.

I'd decided it would've been best to follow every single part of Harry's plan in the best way possible, so I took off my coat and asked her if she wanted something to drink.

She said she didn't, so I nodded and went into the kitchen, taking only one single glass out of the cupboard and slowly filling it up with water with my back to the rest of the room.