𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

amnesia

amnesia- 5sos

fillie au

wow look at me changing things up 🤠

*

finn drove past some of the places he used to love, memories flooding through is brain. memories of her, and everything about her. her hair, her smile, and her laugh. that laugh made him absolutely insane. the way her eyes crinkled at the sides and her smile would grow bigger, and she made you just laugh with her. for no reason at all.

the places he drove by contained so many memories, just places they would hang out to get wasted. they would go there if school got too boring or just needed a break. the old warehouse they used just to get high and laugh their asses off.

he thought about their last kiss, how it felt and how she tasted. her lips so perfect and addicting. she was the drug he could get high on everyday without a care in the world. she always tasted like somthing he couldn't even describe.

even if her friends told him she was fine he still refused to believe how she could move on so quickly. was she somewhere feeling lonely? did she miss him? probably not, it had been years and he still hadn't gotten over her.

was it just a lie? if what they had was real how could she just be fine? how could she leave him in the dust with a broken heart in his hands? he was still utterly in love with her after all those years and she had probably moved on and was with another guy. that other guy probably treated her better than finn ever could, he would be rich and buy her everything her heart desires. that guy would be so much more than finn could ever be.

he could picture her face the day she left for college, her face, makeup running down her face alongside her tears. she said goodbye to him, not a hug or anything. she just got in the car and left him with all of her memories, she forgot them with the snap of her fingers. along with her memories she left her dreams. the dreams she would constantly tell him, the things she would accomplish.

"finn!" millie squealed as she jumped into his arms, "hey mills," he smiled, "oh i have to tell you about so much stuff!" she exclaimed latching onto his hand and pull him with her. he didn't know where they were going but he didn't care, as long as he was with her. "what could you possibly have to say, it's been like an hour!"

"an hour to long." she said planting a quick kiss on his lips, "okay well tell me." he insisted, "so when i was in english, we were supposed to be doing this questionnaire about our lives and our future and just none of the options are what i wanted. so i started thinking, why be one of the options on the paper when i could be something i really want to be? so i decided i'm going to be an astronaut." she announced proudly.

"millie, love do you realize have to go miles and miles away from earth? plus your terrified of heights." he said glancing a knowing look her way, "yes but that fear is easy to get over!"

"uh nuh-uh. remember when we went on the ferris wheel and you cried the whole time?" he smirked, "okay okay, fine i guess your right."

and the way it felt to fall asleep next to her, she would cling onto you like a koala bear. snuggling into his chest and wrapping her legs around his. he always had the best dreams when she slept by his side.

but the day she told finn she would be leaving was when he felt apart of himself break down. like his work was crashing down over him. or like a tidal wave hitting him and pulling him down to the deep depths of the ocean.

"finnie, can we talk, just for a bit?" she asked, "of course, what's going on?" he asked, millie grabbed his hand and squeezed it quickly. she sighed and shut her eyes, "i'm going to college." she said quickly, "w-what? where? w-when?" he stammered, "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner i just didn't know, and then i got a letter in the mail saying i was excepted into Stanford! and i couldn't just pass that up finn, you know i couldn't. i have to leave next week." she said feeling a tear roll down her face.

"when did you find out?" he asked, "2 weeks ago."

"2 weeks?! millie you've known all that time and didn't think about how to tell me?"

"finn i didn't know how to say it! i'm sorry, i'm so sorry finn. i wanted to tell you s-sooner i did." she cried, she put her head onto his chest and cried into his shirt. she listened to his heartbeat, it was quick. listening to his heart always seemed to calm her nerves but today it was different, she couldn't bare to see look on his face, knowing that he was definitely crying too.

after she had left finn just wished he could forget. he wanted to forget her, how his heart felt, how he was feeling, the memories, everything. it hurt him to know that she would just leave like that, how she would just leave him just like that.

his heartbreak lasted forever, he still had it. he couldn't escape it, it's like she was imprinted in his brain, like a tattoo. you couldn't get rid of it. no matter what you did it was always there.

his friends were worried about him, they never saw him anymore. no one realized how much millie really was to him, they thought it was just his girlfriend. but millie was more than that to finn, she kept him stable, she held him up and she was everything to him. she was his best friend. she was more important to him than anything else and no one else saw that. but after she left he completely dropped off the face of the earth. drowning himself in his thoughts, his sadness, there was no light in his work at all. 

it hurt to know that she was happy and she moved on while he was still moping over her like some lovesick puppy. it was hard to hear her name mentioned by his friends when she had been gone for so long.

if he woke up one day and she was sleeping right next to him, like all of it was just a bad dream. he would hold her tighter and closer than he had ever before, not wanting her to slip away from him ever again. if he woke up from that dream he would be so terrified to loose her again because the feeling of loosing her was unbearable to him.

but it wasn't a dream.

his friends would ask him how he was and occasionally checking on him. but it did nothing. he thought of himself as pathetic that he was still moping over his first heartbreak. he would tell them he was fine.

and he really wasn't fine at all.

authors note:

hey sorry that was so angsty. but thanks to wickedwheeler she got me liking 5sos so of course i had to have a song inspired oneshot. and i happened to choose a nice sad song but yeah. hope you liked this little fillie- well more like finn being depressed oneshot. but tell me if you'd want me to do it again!

this was probably really bad but i liked the song so yeah.

hope you enjoyed!!
-nedy ✌🏼