I Will Save You ✔

Chapter 32 (Ryan's Letter)

Ryan's Letter to Kadance

Dear Kadance,

I don't know if you will ever receive this letter, but it's been a year since you left me and Mason. I miss you more and more each and every day. I am so sorry for how I treated you. Please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I have loved you since the day we met when we were little kids. I love you then, I love you now and I will love you forever. I should have been a better boyfriend when your parents died. I should have shown you love and not treated you like you were worthless. You are far from worthless. You are priceless.

I did the things I did to keep you. I know that doesn't make sense, since it made you run away from me instead, but let me explain. My father said the only way that I would be able to keep you as mine forever is to make you think no one else would want you. I saw the way other guys looked at you, even if you didn't notice the way they looked at you. What if one day you woke up and decided that I wasn't good enough for you anymore? I couldn't handle the thought of that. I am sorry I would hit you. I though by hitting you it would make you cover up your body, so other guys wouldn't notice you. They wouldn't want to look at you and see you the way I see you. You're beautiful and I should have never laid a finger on you. I'm sorry for yelling at you and calling you names. I thought if I made you feel worthless then would think that you weren't worth it for anyone else and you would stay with me. I am sorry for scaring you. I thought if I scared you then you would be too afraid to leave. Obviously, I was wrong because you did leave. When you left you broke my heart into a million pieces, but I guess I deserve it. I know I broke your heart also. I am sorry for forcing myself on you. My father told me if I got you pregnant then you would have no choice but to stay with me for our child. He said you wouldn't be able to take care of the child alone and no person in their right mind would just leave their child behind. I guess he didn't count on how badly that I treated you. I treated you so badly that you had no choice but to leave your son behind. For that I am so fucking sorry. I know I hurt you more than I ever can imagine and there is no way for me to make it up to you. I regret a lot of things that I did, and I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope someday that we can start all over and be the family that I want, the one that we both once wanted. With everything that I do regret, there are a few things that I don't. I don't regret loving you and I hope you know that I truly do love you. I don't regret Mason. Even though you ran away, every time I look at Mason, I see you. I know it has been a while since you've seen Mason, but I want you to know that he does know who you are. Every day I show him pictures of you, pictures of us. I only tell him good things about you. I lied when I said I can get any girl to be his mother. You and only you can and will be his mother. Kadance, I really do love you and hope that you will return that love for my again someday. Please, Love, forgive me.

Love Always,

Ryan Castillo

Kadance's POV

I reread this letter every time I come to visit Ryan's grave. "Ryan, I never stopped loving you. My love just changed for you. I love you, but I was no longer 'in love' with you. Ryan, I do forgive you. You gave me one of the greatest gifts I could ask for... Mason. He misses you. I do too at times. He now calls Blayne his dad, but he hasn't forgotten you. I will never let him forget you. He knows you are his dad, and he loves you. I show him your pictures everyday like how you use to show him mine. I love you, Ryan. Until next time."

Ryan wasn't always the monster that I knew him as in the end. He was once my best friend, and my first love. He was the little kid that I would get in trouble with at school. I miss that Ryan. For Mason's sake, I choose to remember the good side of Ryan. With Blayne's help, I have finally been able to come to terms with my past.

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A/N: That's it. It's officially over. Thank you for reading!