Before Me

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I may act as if everything is alright that I'm not scared, that I'm okay and that I trust you so much. But to tell you honesty, I'm scarred, traumatized by the past relationship I had – made me have this toxic mindset I never wished to have. I hate how I always over think that ends up making me sad. I hate how my mind is always bombarded with never ending 'what ifs' – "What if he haven't moved on yet?" , "What if he isn't serious?" "What if I'm just a rebound?", " What if he is just making himself busy with me while waiting for his last love to come back?", and the list goes on and on.

"Don't say I love you if you are not serious," I keep on telling you that. "Wag kang pa fall if hindi mo naman pala ako kayang saluhin," I'm scared to fall in love again, I'm scared of having an unrequited love where I am the only one who loves sa much, I'm scared to be left alone in the end when you choose the girl before me, your last love. Please don't waste the trust I gave you because the last time I loved someone so much; he broke me and that made me doubt everyone who wants to be a part of my life.

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