9: Bittersweet sixteen

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Jim woke up in the morning to Barbara walking in pancakes with a candle and orange juice. "Wake up!" she smiled. "Don't want to sleep through your big day."

"Big day?"

"The big day you start with mom's special birthday pancakes!"

Jim looked down at the poorly made face made of syrup. "He looks like he's screaming."

"He's excited. I know, I know. You always hate your birthday. But you're 16! This is a big one. We should do something tonight."

"Mom, you know I don't want to—"

"This isn't up for discussion." She opened the window. "No one should be alone on their birthday. When you've had your fill, I have another surprise for you downstairs."

Barbara walked downstairs and Jim's walkie-talkie beeped. "Warhammer to Trollhunter," Toby said. "Copy?"

Jim picked it up. "Copy," he said. "What is it, Tobes?"

"Look out your window!"

He looked out the window to see Toby waving from his own window while holding a cardboard cake that said Jim and 16 on it. There was a bit taken out of the top. "I think a bird, or something tore away a piece of your drawing, Tobes," Jim said.

"That was Aaarrrgghh. He thought the cake was real. Or maybe he just likes the taste of paper. Any word from Claire?"

"No, she's not returning any of my texts. It's not like I destroyed her house or anything. Oh, wait. It is."

"Dude, you didn't destroy her house. Her fake baby brother did."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to mention that."

"Have you thought about it? Telling her, I mean?"

"Telling her that her baby brother's been swapped for a shape-shifting changeling troll because of me? Is there a Hallmark card for that?"

"If there isn't, there should be. In the meantime, ignorance is bliss and I've got a birthday gift for you that Aaarrrgghh cannot eat."

"Toby Pie!" Mrs. Domzalski called from down the stairs. "Why is this box empty?"

"Aaarrrgghh ate the kitty litter again." Toby said. "Gotta go. Warhammer out."

Jim sighed and went down the stairs. He was about to walk out the door, but Barbara stopped him. "Wait right there," she said. "Let me get your present ready in the garage."

"The garage?"

He looked at a magazine that had the vespa he was looking at a few days ago. "I know you've wanted this for a while," Barbara said from the garage. "And now that you're the big one-six, maybe it's time."

Jim heard an engine in the garage.

"I think you'll get a lot of mileage out of this."

He ran into the garage. "Did you seriously get me a—?"

He saw Barbara with a blender in the garage. "The Food Magic 3000!" she smiled. "From those cooking shows you like. It slices, it dices...and you hate it."

"No, no, mom, it's—it's great!"

She saw the magazine he was holding. "You were expecting a...with the garage and the mileage..."

"It's fine," he smiled, taking the blender. "I also wanted one of these."

"We'll get a Vespa someday, Jim. Just...you know I hate the idea of you on one of those things."

"The Food Magic is perfect, mom. Really. I can't wait to cook you something with it."

Toby ran into the garage. "Jim!" he said. "You gotta come quick! There's an emergency in..." he looked at Barbara. "The place. With the thing. Not even an emergency, actually. It's—hey, is that a Food Magic?"

"3000," Barbara said. "I'll leave you boys to it. But Jim, tonight, celebration!"

She walked into the house and the two boys turned to each other. "Seriously," Toby said. "We've got a Defcon One situation in Trollmarket."

"How do you know?"

"I-I just do! Come on!"

They rode their bikes off, without knowing that they were being watched.

***

They reached the Forge to see many trolls being chased by the giant blades. Jim had his armor on and Blinky ran over to him. "It's too late, Master Jim. Aaarrrgghh has lost his mind! Save yourself!"

"I thought Aaarrrgghh was at your house!" Jim said to Toby. Aaarrrgghh lunged at Jim and hit his fists on the ground. Jim backed up into a blade. Aaarrrgghh picked him up and growled in his face. The middle of the Forge lifted, showing balloons with carnival music playing. Blinky and Toby were pulling ropes and a birthday banner opened. "Surprise!" they all yelled. "Happy birthing day, Master Jim!" Blinky smiled.

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