Shit rant poems

Maybe I should learn the ukelele and play this depressing ass thing

Doesn't make much sense cause the tunes in my head and it's just what ramblings I can remember from when I had like lowkey heat stroke, enjoy if u can

When you're at the peak of your sad small life and
My misrembered melodies don't sound quite right

I think to myself
I wanna die

When the trains delayed and my heads spinning
When people of god tell me Im alive with sin

Or
When the people I love turn me away
Or when they look at me in that distasteful way

That thought sneaks in my head
Many voices saying speaking and singing
Oh
I wanna be dead

I wanna die
Sometimes I feel like I just need to cry
But don't tell me talk cause whenever I do
I cycle back all thru
The shit that I can't deal with

But people tell me it's just a phase
Or that I'm having a shitty day I think

No it's just my fucking brain

It doesn't work like you or yours or theirs
And it doesn't have the uphill or upstairs

Only down and low altitude

I'm above sea level but I feel below
And when that waters oh so close
I think

How easy I could drown

Maybe it'd even look like a mistake
So my diaries don't have to explain that I think

I'm human trash

So people still see me as a good person and not a sick depravity

I'm not ill
I'm broken

You see when you commit suicide or even  try you become
Their centrepiece gossip
And I refuse to be the stubborn whisper on the lips of the bitch who won't leave

And the girl
Who was so secretly broken

You see I'm a person with a heart and a brain
Only they've just never worked just the same as yours

People say they're there and their not
Leaving empty promises just to rot
Making me forget what I want

I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die

I wanna die I wanna die

No one can tell me why I can't, shouldn't Ofr won't

The pain doesn't scare me only the possibility that I won't go

I just wanna die
Try to tell me why I want to die

And you'll see
That you never really saw me

I don't wanna do this because of little solveable problems

I'm just not meant to leave here
Human

Like all of you

No pretending to be something
That I just cannot do

I wanna die
I wanna die
I wanna die

I say it so numb can't even cry
Or ever cry
Or think to try

Just lemme die lemme die and lemme die and lemme die

Lemme die
I wanna try