I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock, big red neon numbers reminding me that it was three in the morning and I still wasn't asleep. I hadn't had a proper night sleep in a couple of weeks, I didn't know why, my brain just couldn't switch off. I sighed and pushed back my duvet, climbing out of bed and wrapping my fluffy grey dressing gown around me. I wandered into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on, grabbing a mug and tossing a tea bag in it.
I sat on the kitchen counter mug in one hand, chocolate digestive in the other. I watched the clock as the little seconds hand ticked away, I'd never noticed how loud it was, ticking filling the room as if a metronome was hidden in the flat somewhere.
Maybe I should learn to play the piano. I thought as I shoved the rest of the biscuit in my mouth. The sound of feet pattering on the floor broke me from my thoughts. I turned my head to see Lando standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes and letting out a giant yawn.
"Can't sleep either?" I asked quietly, motioning at the kettle as if to offer him one.
"Yes please," he mumbled as he slinked his way across the kitchen and into the living room, slumping on the sofa.
I handed him his tea and sat down next to him. He thanked me quietly, his eyes locked on the golden liquid.
"I had a bad dream." I lifted my arm up, inviting him to come closer. He scooched himself over, my arm resting around his shoulders.
"Want to talk about it?" He took a sip of his tea and let out a shaky sigh.
"I got home from Spa, and you were gone, like you never existed. No one could remember you, everyone thought I was mental... that I was making you up. Your room was completely bare, like it had never been entered before. I wanted to come back and forget about all the bullshit from the race a-and suddenly it was like my whole world had come crashing down. I-it was horrible... it was like my worst nightmare..."
His breathing had started becoming more heavy and rapid, sentences became more of a struggle.
"I'm here." I said quietly, squeezing my arm that was around him, comforting him. "I promise I'm not going anywhere." I took the mug out of his hand and placed it on the floor. I took his hand in mine and entwined our fingers together.
We sat in silence, the clock still ticking in the background. I rubbed my thumb in circles on Lando's hand, his breathing slowing down gradually. My mind kept going back to what he said. His world. Was I really his world? I mean I knew we were best friends, we'd grown up together, when he moved to Surrey both mine and his parents agreed that I could live with them so Lando and I wouldn't be separated.
It was the way he said it. As if I was more than just a friend. Did he really see me like that? Did I see him like that? I mean sure he was attractive. He had those eyes that could make your heart melt with just a glance. That grin that could make anyone crack a smile no matter how sad they were. He was the most kind hearted man I'd ever met, he'd always put others before himself, even if he wasn't doing great. No one could match his humour, only he could make my stomach hurt from laughter.
Maybe I did have some sort of feelings for him. But was it worth risking our friendship?
"I'm sorry," Lando spoke, almost at a whisper.
"For having a bad dream?"
"For unloading all of that on you." I gave his hand a small squeeze, he glanced up at me, dark circles becoming more prominent under his eyes.
"Never apologise. You know I'm here, no matter what."
"You won't always though... you'll move on, make new friends, move on in life. One day I'll just be an old memory..." I could see his eyes beginning to water, his grip on my hand tightened.
"Come here," I said moving him down so his head was in my lap. I ran my fingers through his soft curls, my other hand wiping away stray tears that fell down his cheeks.
"I don't think you understand how much you mean to me Lando. I may make some new friends down the line but none of them will ever replace you. No one could come close to what we have. It's me and you against the world remember. Wherever you go, I go. I promise that you're stuck with me for life. Even if you get sick of me there's no getting rid of me." He looked up at me, flashing a small watery smile and held up his pinky finger. I chuckled and linked my pinky with his.
"Why were you up?"
"Just having issues sleeping recently, no biggie."
Lando stood up and took his hand in mine, pulling me up. He lead me into his room and we climbed into the bed. He pulled me close to his body, one arm around my shoulders, the other around my waist. I rested my arm on his chest, my head in the crook of his neck, my leg hooked over his. I listened to the sound of his breathing, his chest slowly moving up and down. My eyes began to feel heavy, it felt like I'd been hit by a bus of exhaustion. A gentle kiss was pressed against the side of my head.
"Night night (Y/N/N)," he whispered
"Sweet dreams Lando."
Maybe Lando and I could work, but that was a conversation for another day. I just wanted to enjoy the moment of true comfort.
