bdsm- hyung line FF (undergoing editing and rewriting)

9

Namjoon's Pov.

I woke up the next morning, I didn't know how to feel about everything and I let out a small sigh. ''mm~ whats wrong Joonie?" I jumped slightly as I heard a deep raspy voice from next to me. I turned and look over to see Taehyung and sighed.

''Oh nothing just I got to go home now.'' He nodded and kissed my cheek which made me slightly uncomfortable but I just let it go. ''You just better go before Jimin wakes up.'' I got up immediately  and waved at him before I left the house.

When I walked outside I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as I didn't know what the fuck I just did and why I did it or even let it happen.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head and started on my journey back home knowing it was going to take a while since I didn't know where I was going. As I walked I looked around at the trees as the cold autumn wind hit my face as it blew.

I just wondered how my life ended up the way it did, wondering why I couldn't be normal like everyone else. I've always hoped for a better life, I've just always wanted things to get better for myself I wanted to try and succeed in life and maybe forget my past and actvlike it didn't happen.

But that can't happen, no matter how hard I try my past will always come back to haunt me and it makes me feel useless and weak, I've struggled with depression all my life an over the years it gets worse all because of the shit these three men have done to me. 

Maybe if I got help, maybe if I told someone and didn't give up. Maybe something would've happened things would've changed and everything would be normal like I wanted it to be. So yeah it is my fault, everything is and I should learn to accept that.

I soon got home and sighed softly as I walked up to the door. I took the spare key that was under the mat since I left mines in my room, I unlocked the door and walked inside closing it softly making sure not to wake anyone up.

I didn't want to be alone at the moment so I walked up the stairs and walked into Yoongi's room and closed the door behind me. I looked at Yoongi, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed underneath his covers and soft snores left his mouth.

I laid down next to him and shook him slightly, trying to wake him up. A soft groan escaped his lips before he looked up at me and smiled and pulled me close to his chest and rubbed my back. ''I w-was so worried Joon..'' he mumbled tiredly.

''I'm sorry hyung I went somewhere and spent the night..'' he nodded and let go of me and sat up on the bed and looked at me as he ran his fingers through his hair.
I sat up beside him and gave him small kind smile.

He took a deep breath before he started crying, tears fell down his face slowly as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close for a warm tight hug.
''I'm s-so sorry...I should've helped and believed you instead of being an asshole about it..I regret everything so much I wish I could go back and fix everything I really do.. Joonie, baby I'm so sorry.''

I smiled as those words as they gave me  some sense of relief, that apology meant a lot to me. After all these years I finally got the apology I've been wanting even if its only from one of them it.

''And about Hoseok..he gets upset easily as you can tell, after you left yesterday he cried and he got more angry not at you but at the whole situation he just wishes he could've helped you and wasn't a dick.. he didn't mean to say what he said yesterday he told me..''

''I know..I just did what I did to fuck with his feelings since he hurt mines kinda I wanted him to know how bad it felt'' Yoongi chuckled quietly and rubbed my back. ''Where did you go last night?"

I took a deep breath and pulled away from the hug. ''I went to Jimin's place..it wasn't intentional it was just that he found me crying and he did some shit he used to do to me a few years ago that just made me give in to everything..he didn't hurt me he just let me cuddle with Jeongguk until I fell asleep.''

Yoongi nodded and kissed my forehead gently. ''Good.. Jin is at work and Hoseok is in his room go talk to him when you want to okay?'' I nodded and smiled. ''Yeah of course I will~"

834 words

Not proofread

Next chapter is going to be alot