sometimes i feel that i will never get to feel or know what it's like to be loved so deeply by somebody.
i wouldn't say i'm great at making friends, but i'd definitely say i'm worse at keeping them.
whether it's leaving the only place i've ever known - like graduating & going to college.
moving on from a place that was our only thing in common - like quitting a job.
or it's an online friendship where i'm watching the slow but steep decline in communication on both ends.
i wouldn't say i'm friendless but god does it feel that way.
ever since i was a child, i was never the go-to friend. more so the leftovers.
i believe that's why it hurts so much.
my inner child is sitting alone in her room, "what's so unlikeable about me that makes no one want to stick around?"
could i blame that on my dad? that feels like a cop-out.
there has to be something everyone's seeing that i'm not.
maybe i'm too close to the sun.
— and i don't get along with anyone, maybe i'm the problem
