HOPE

Chapter 29

I have no idea how I came back to my place but somehow I get there. Even my place feel really empty. For the last 2 weeks we have been going between my place and his, both of us together. Being here along, it feels as if I'm at a stranger's place. 

It's still afternoon when I got here so I will myself to not cry again. I can't cry this much. I feel so lost. I have no idea what I need to do now. 

I breath rapidly through my mouth to calm myself down. I have to forget about Seth. I have to let him go. I have to make peace with the fact that I just broke up with the only person I have ever loved. 

Tears come again but I just let them fall. There's no one to see me so I will cry as much as I should today. I walk over to the kitchen to make something to eat but I'm not hungry. I just feel like throwing up all over again. So I just go to bed and cry myself to sleep. 

I kept on waking up from time to time, hoping for a text from Seth saying that he isn't leaving. Or maybe even a text saying he is coming over, or even asking me if I was okay. I wanted to see him so badly that all I can dream about is him. When I wake up I look around to see him, but he isn't here. He will never be here again. 

The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed and look around for Seth. Reality hits me like a tsunami wave and I balled up again, crying which made me fall asleep again. 

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing, the land line. I stumble out of bed and head downstairs sleepily. My head is pounding and it hurts so much. 

I wasn't really looking down as I climbed the stairs from the bed that I may have missed a step or something cause the next thing I know it that I'm falling down, hitting my head hard against the ground. I groan. My headache intensify and as I try to get up my right let started to ache like crazy. 

Still, I try to get up using the sofa next to my but the pain is so much to bear that I scream out loud. The pain, the shock, is too much that my vision started to blur and I get lost in the darkness. 

~~*~~

I wake up a few hours later in the same position I was when I fell down. My head still hurts but it's a little less. My leg is really hard to move. I think I may have sprained my ankle. Struggling to get up, I grab the railings try to balance myself on one leg, not putting much pressure on my right one. I go to the sofa and sit down. I leg hurts so bad. 

My phone actually has an answering machine so I just press it's button and wait for the message to read. 

"Hi Hope. It's me, Jake. Everyone is wondering why you didn't come. You didn't tell anyone about taking a leave. Seth didn't come as well. I was wondering if you guys are together. If so, then that's okay. But I don't really know Seth's number so I just called you to check. Everything okay there right? Call me when you get this."

I don't think about Seth as I wait for the next message to come. Nothing is okay, right now. 

"Hope, it's Drew here. Seth called me and told me what happened. I didn't tell him you didn't come to work today but I hope you are okay. Call me if you need anything. I will come over in a quick second with Mary and Anna. Just call me and tell me whether you need us to come, okay?" 

I am grateful for the offer but I really need to be alone right now. I don't want to face them and see their sympathetic faces cause I might lose myself again and cry. 

"Hopey? Honey, are you okay? I called you the day before but you didn't call me back and yesterday you took holidays from work and I checked today as well but you aren't there. I don't know where you live to come there and frankly no one at work does as well. Please call me as soon as you can. I'm really worried about you."