Star Wars: A Light And Dark Side Romance

Chapter 9

"Have you ever been to a gala before?" Rey asked Kylo curiously.

"A few times. When I first joined the Order. It's not very exciting. And it's extremely formal."

"Even the women weren't interesting?" Rey wasn't sure she really wanted to know if he'd ever been involved with anyone else, but it was better it come up now then at the gala.

Kylo sensed her jealousy and smirked slightly. "Rey, have you ever met any First Order women?"

"Of course not, I've been with the Resistance."

"You're lucky then. They're extremely aggressive and very jealous."

"Jealous?"

"If they even catch you looking at someone who could be their competition, you might not see them again. I think, if you're looking for a way to describe them, I would use the word dangerous. You're safe though, I've never had a girlfriend. Wasn't interested."

Rey was relieved but tried not to show it. She was surprised though. She had expected him to have several girlfriends. She knew that power was attractive to some women. She underestimated her own power now, though. As Lady Ren, she had more power than any woman in the entire galaxy. Did that put her in danger?

"Rey," Kylo looked at her, with tenderness in his eyes. "You're the only woman in the world for me." He leaned in to kiss her and Rey returned the kiss. She wasn't used to such passionate kisses. Before Kylo, there hadn't been any romance in her life and she had never been kissed by anyone. She had no memories of her parents, but even if she did, she had no way of knowing if they had ever loved her. They had left Jakku when she was two.

Rey returned her attention to Kylo, who was now holding her in his arms. She had never dared to dream that anyone could care for her this much. Han and Leia had cared about her, but it hadn't even come close to how deep her connection with Kylo was. As they were kissing, BB-9E started chirping teasingly. Unfortunately, it ended the moment and Kylo broke the kiss. Kylo glared at his droid angrily, and Rey laughed. Her new family hadn't been anything like she expected, but in many ways, it was better than she had ever thought possible. With Kylo, she felt that she was home.

Kylo was almost distracted from the gala again, but he forced himself to refocus. If he started kissing Rey again, they would never discuss it and it would lead to something else. Something much better.

"Regarding the gala, you might need some training." He wasn't sure why he felt nervous asking about normal details, but it reminded him of how little he actually knew of Rey's life before him. He almost didn't want to imagine her previous life, at least not her life on Jakku.

"You'll need a dress. I don't know anything about that though, so you'll have to talk to Padme."

"Is there an issue with that? She seems like she should know about how to dress for a gala."

"It's not that she wouldn't." Kylo looked around nervously, searching for any sign that his grandmother might be listening. "It's just, her information might be slightly outdated. That and she's never been to a First Order gala. All I know is that you'll need a gown. Other than that, I didn't really notice anything particular."

"I've never worn a gown. I've never been to a formal event before. The Resistance had parties sometimes, but compared to a First Order gala, it was extremely small scale and not formal at all. I didn't really participate in those much, anyway. I wanted to stay and work on the engines."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Kylo would have had to be blind to not notice how much she loved working on engines and machinery. She had been so absorbed in the book he had gotten her that it was difficult for her to put it down at times. He wondered if she liked to read anything else. He would have to ask. He would give her anything. Surely she had to know that by now. He thought for a moment. There was an empty room in their suite. Maybe he could do something with that.

"Anything else I need to know about the gala?" Rey's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He could think about the empty room later.

"Do you know how to dance?"

Rey looked at him, surprised. "On what occasion do you think I would have danced?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, not having really thought about it. "A Resistance event?" He didn't know much about the Resistance. He had only seen the parties that Leia used to host for political events. He had always avoided having anything to do with the Resistance. Until now. He knew Rey was still seriously devoted to the Resistance. He knew how much she wanted to be a hero. Didn't she know how much she was saving him? He wished that he could be enough for her. He didn't want to share her devotion, possibly her love, with the Resistance.

"I told you, they were informal parties. I don't know what type of dancing you're talking about, but I am pretty sure the Resistance didn't have anything like it."

"Actually, they did. But it wasn't for the Resistance. It happened at political dinners. There was always dinner and dancing."

"How would you know about that? Was it when you were Ben Solo?" Kylo tensed at the name, and Rey instantly regretted saying it.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."

"You have a right to. My wife should at least know everything about me. It's not like anyone else will ever know. I don't talk with anyone the way I do with you." Rey looked at him and she saw how trusting he was. It was all in his eyes. It was clear that he trusted her greatly. And she trusted him, with almost everything in her. Part of her still worried that he would break her heart. Or that she would break his.

"Yes, when I had that name. My mother used to host political dinners constantly. I almost never saw her, and I saw my father even less. Neither of them were ever really around. They had their lives and forgot about me. It's no wonder I turned to the First Order. They were the only ones who had ever accepted me. Uncle Luke abandoned me when he sensed the Dark Side within me." Rey's eyes filled with sorrow. She hadn't realized that his life had been difficult, too.

"Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why? I know that you trained with him."

"I didn't train with him very long. Only a few months. He didn't want to train me. He said I was reckless and impulsive instead of patient. I didn't think through my feelings enough."

"Sounds like the same thing he said about me. No wonder we get along so well."

Rey smiled briefly. They hadn't gotten along so well when they first met. How had everything changed so much in so short a time? It seemed like only yesterday she was with the Resistance and now she was married to the commander of the First Order. But she didn't regret it. Not anymore.

"Yes. Luke did mention that. He said that you attacked him."

"Do you believe him?"

"I don't know what or who to believe anymore. Now that I know you, there's a lot that doesn't make sense. It's all so confusing now."

Kylo sat in silence for a moment. It made sense that she would be conflicted, but at the same time, it was disappointing. If only things weren't so complicated. If only there was more than just the light and the dark. It was a while before he spoke again, knowing Rey was waiting for an answer.

"Luke attacked me. He was afraid of me, thinking I would be like his father. I guess he wasn't completely wrong. But I acted in self-defense. He tried to kill me, and I fought back. I joined the First Order because I felt like I didn't have anywhere else to go. No one understood me. But you might. I've never told anyone this story."

"You didn't have to. It must hurt."

"It does. But the past is gone. That's the thing about the past. You can't let it hold you back. You have to let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be. It was the only thing I could do. If something is holding you back, you have to let go of it."

Rey knew what he meant. But she wasn't sure if she could take another risk with letting someone else into her heart. She had already lost her parents, Luke, and her friends at the Resistance. She didn't want to lose anyone else, especially not Kylo. If she let someone else in and lost them, it would break her. She couldn't bear any more pain. Not for love. And in that moment, she knew that she truly, deeply loved Kylo even if she couldn't tell him. At that same moment, Kylo had the same realization. His love for Rey was true and deep, but he knew that he had to tell her. Whatever the risks.