Dying to Live

When Life Hits

Ava 💛

Wendesday, December 16

"Sweet Home Alabama" I say after passing the sign. Lord knows I miss it but I don't miss it at the same time.

Every time I'm hear it feels like I'm trapped all over again.. sighing I turn up the music.

I'm sad I know, yeah
I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah)
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad I know, yeah
I'm sad I know, yeah

Sighing I looked to my left and saw Lexi dumb ass trying to pass me. So, you know what my chidish ass did? I sped up. I needed that laugh cause we all know these next 3 weeks are going to be HELL.

Instead of going straight home, I decided to make a pitstop in Pritchard to see my grandma. So I called the girls and they agreed to coming with me. My grandmother was my rock! She means the world to me and I make that known daily.

Pulling into the driveway, I sat in the car waiting on these hoes to pull in. Lexi pulled up to my right and Kiandra to my left. We got out and walked towards the small, yet comfy home. I knocked on the door twice then rung the doorbell. When she didn't answer I did it again and started to become nervous. Turning to my left I lifted the flowerpot and grabbed the key.

Opening the door I started screaming for her "grannyyy" it's me.
"Granny" I yelled walking towards the kitchen and there she was.

She was lying there on the floor, not moving, I was scared. Tears rimmed my eyes as I approached her. Getting onto the floor I checked for a pulse on her neck. Didn't find one, next I checked her wrist, still no pulse. I did CPR, I could not believe this.

No she can't be, no not yet. It's not her time. I'm crying, this hurts. I just lost one of the four people I loved, that loved me. I call 9-1-1 but since this is Prichard it'll be a minute before they get here.

I laid there beside her crying, weeping, begging God to send her back. I knew it wasn't possible though but it should have been me. I looked up to see KiKi and Lex crying just as hard as I am. She loved them, and treated them as her own so I'm not shocked.

Getting up, I decided to call my dad and tell him of his mothers passing. And to my surprise for the first time, in a very long time he answered the phone. Our conversation didn't last long and me being choked up I barely got my words out.
"Sh-She-She's gone" I say
"Who? Who's gone?" He answers
"Gr-granny" I say
When he didn't reply I looked at my phone to see he hung up. He didn't comfort me, assure me it was gonna be ok, nor did he say he was on the way. Just hit me with the dial tone.

15 minutes pass before an ambulance arrives along with the police and coroner. They asked me questions, simple ones, but something didn't feel right.  I knew something was wrong just not what.