the rhythm our heart plays {breddy; twosetviolin fanfiction}

16

"Scissors, paper, ROCK!"

"My win. You go first."

"Fuck."

*

Eddy's palms are sweaty as he paces around the room, wired with adrenaline as the violins in his head hit the E string and tremble there. He's working up the nerve to talk, but spilling your guts out isn't as easy as it seems when all you've been doing for the past decade of your life is, well, hiding it. Ugh...why did he have to go with scissors?

Brett's standing in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Eddy takes a breath, resolve settling in.

First, he should apologize for being a dick earlier. That's a good start.

"About before...it wasn't your fault. I'm not mad at you or anything. Sorry I was grumpy earlier," he says, half mumbling, staring down at the ground rather than making eye contact. He didn't - he felt like if he looked Brett in the eye, every single stupid thought in his head would be completely visible on his face, and yeah Brett is like, cool and mature when it comes to the more serious stuff, so he wouldn't be a dick about it, but - anyway, Eddy isn't ready to see how Brett will react. Not yet, at least. Not until Eddy can get everything off his chest and break down later.

Being emotionally vulnerable is ridiculously hard.

"It's just that, being with you makes me so...I just couldn't stop thinking about it, Brett." Ahhh seriously, why is this so hard. "For the longest time, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And wanting...erm, I...um...I just...with you, I..."

Where is he going with this?

Seriously, why does confession scenes in movies always make it look so easy? This is ridiculous.

*

Brett's standing there staring at Eddy like the nervous wreck that he is. His mind goes static the moment he pieces together Eddy's words: "wanting", "for the longest time", "thinking about you". It's quite a shock to the system. The embodiment of the surprise pikachu face meme, even.

Eddy's stuttering again, and none of what he's saying is making much sense anymore. It's downright endearing, Brett has to admit, and he supposes he can be brave too.

There's a lingering fear, though. A nasty little thing in the corner of his mind that says this might go all wrong. But here, with Eddy being so honest and open right now, Brett can't stop himself from reaching out.

"Ugh fuck it, I don't care anymore," Brett says under his breath, knowing full well he still does. Regardless, he charges towards his friend and slaps both his hands on either side of Eddy's face, holding it in place. The latter makes a confused gurgle as his cheeks gets smushed but Brett ignores it and leans forward, ridding any last respectable distance between them. "You like me, right?" Eddy probably has no clue where this is going, perhaps not even sure what kind of like Brett is referring to, but he nods to the best of his ability anyways. Brett inhales sharply and huffs out a "great, me too" before smacking their lips together. Taken completely off guard, Eddy back peddles and trips over his own feet, bringing them both tumbling to the ground. Brett winces when he scrapes his knees but he's not prepared to stop and mentally deal yet, so he presses forward and kisses a stunned Eddy once more. This time, finding his centre ground, Eddy timidly wraps his arms around Brett's waist and gradually reciprocates, mouths melding into each other, sensual and slow compared to Brett's firm, hurried ones. The time they pull apart is filled with only soft breathing, but it doesn't last long as their lips meet again and again, leaving ounces of tension and longing and relief into each press of a kiss.

Finally, they think wondrously.

Their first kiss earns them bruises on their shins and near bleeding lips, but when they stop to catch their breaths and actually take a chance to look at one another, there's only matching grins adorning each other's features.

*

"We're making a huge mistake."

"Probably."

"It's going to ruin our friendship."

Brett shrugs.

"I'm serious, Brett."

"We can always talk it out," Brett replies sincerely. "If you trust me...trust us." He idly plays with the ends of Eddy's hair as Eddy hugs him even tighter, hiding his face in the crook of Brett's neck. "Back then...you told me that this didn't mean anything to you."

"Lying, obviously." Eddy murmurs against Brett's hoodie. "I was giving you an out. An excuse for the moment and giving a chance for us to stay...I don't know, normal."

"Because trying to stay normal worked so well for us, huh?" Brett says with a tinge of playful sarcasm. Eddy's hold on Brett tightens.

"Look, Brett. This is a heavy loaded thing we want here, and I just don't want you to regret this when you sober up and come to your senses because it will take me a while, a long while to get over it — over you. And I don't want to resent you as I try to shove my feelings back down my throat again and pretend that it's nothing — that it's fine. I can't pretend that I'll be fine, Brett."

What we want.

The words linger in Brett's mind like a sustained vibrato.

What we want.

"I'm sober." Brett says abruptly while Eddy shoots him a gentle, exasperated look. "Like, really sober. I like you, Eddy. Like, like like you. The want-to-be-in-love-together-with-you kind of like. Just to clarify."

He can see Eddy slowly giving into him, eyes hesitant but hopeful. Why is it so hard for Eddy to believe that he wants him? Truly, deeply, madly want him. He's just as insecure about their relationship as Brett is and Brett is determined to change that.

"I like you too, Brett. I like you a lot." Eddy says, looking at Brett like he's everything in the world. "The like-like kind of way." Eddy bites his lip, a nervous tremor in his voice. "If we do this, if you really want me the way I want you, then I'm going to be all in. A lifetime subscription of me being disgustingly in love with you. Or more like, I won't be able to hide it anymore. It's going to be insufferable. And mushy. And gross. Asian drama romance levels of cringe, even."

Brett reaches out to hold Eddy's hand, fingers entwining as he smiles heart-achingly soft. "So. Where do I subscribe?"