𝔟𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔡𝔬𝔤𝔰 𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ x ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ [ᴀɴɢsᴛ]

TW // HEAVY MENTIONS AND THEMES OF SUICIDE

A/N: This is only a drabble since it started getting too long for Twitter, lmao. Also, sorry if this seems OOC and really quick because I'm so tired right now and I truly have no motivation to write detail after detail at the moment.

–

It wasn't uncommon for Dazai Osamu and his boyfriend, Chuuya Nakahara, to fight every now and then. In fact, it was practically routine every weekend when they were off work and had the time to argue about something ridiculous such as Dazai forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a leak or Chuuya breaking yet another glass as he's wasted in the middle of the night. It was tiring, to say the least. All of the bickerings were tearing them apart and neither of them wanted that– so, change had to come.

It was around one in the morning when Chuuya finally got home from a last-minute mission from the Port Mafia, shuffling for his keys and unlocking his and Dazai's shared apartment. The door opened with an audible creak, the ginger cursing under his breath from the noise and adding a complaint angrily, "jesus fuck... why can't this shithead put some oil on the hinges already like I told him to."

He turned himself around to close the door quietly and covering the crack of it in an attempt to be more sneaky and as silent as possible. All of this attempts to keep silent was probably a waste considering Dazai was most likely awake waiting for him and waiting to strike yet another argument. 

"Sorry I got back so la-"

This time there was no Dazai sitting on the couch and turning around as if he were some kind of sly, rich, boss of some expensive company. This time he didn't tap his foot as he ticked by the seconds until they began fighting once more about Chuuya coming home late for the fourth time in a row this week. No arguments– not yet anyways.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Chuuya's heart raced in his chest, pounding against his ribs as if it were trying to escape his own body. He bolted to his brunet lover, grabbing a knife from the kitchen swiftly and flipping it in his hand as he gripped the rope firmly in his other and sliced it. Dazai fell to the ground with a thud, gasping for air and clutching at the carpeted flooring.

"WHAT THE FUCK DAZAI?"

He laid there, choking on his own spit and continuing to struggle for air. Chuuya simply gaped down at him, the knife falling from his grip and his knees buckling, "I can't fucking do this anymore, Dazai."

Said person finally blinked up to meet a cerulean leer, glazed over with forming tears. Osamu quieted down, at last, clicking his dry tongue once he caught his breath and whispered, "I didn't expect you to be home already."

Chuuya's mouth fell open on its own accord, tears streaming down his pale cheeks silently.

"What... didn't expect me to ruin your umpteenth suicide attempt?" Chuuya stifles out a bitter chuckle, swallowing down the sob that craves to escape his already throbbing throat.  

Dazai can only stare back as Chuuya cries helplessly, painfully silently. It was heart-wrenching; he never wanted to see his Chibi like this... not because of him.

"I'm sorry..." Dazai spoke again, the tone of his voice betraying his apology. Chuuya heard this and scoffed, standing himself back up without a single word, his tears ceasing to flow. 

"If you wanna die so bad then here," Nakahara fished inside of his leather jacket and grasped his gun holster, "how about we do it together, huh?"

"Chuuya..."

Click.

Dazai flinched, eyes shutting harshly for a split second then widening when no 'boom' sounded the apartment. 

"Never thought I'd be using one of these but here we are," the redhead laughed coldheartedly, spinning the chamber once and tossing the gun to Dazai. He caught it quickly, not wanting it to accidentally shoot in case the single bullet just so happened to be next out of the muzzle. 

"Well what the fuck are you doing, it's your turn." 

Dazai blinked himself out of his stupor, blankly staring down at the revolver in his palm.

"Get up."

It was an order, so Dazai had to follow unless he wanted pain inflicted on himself from Chuuya.

"Chib– Chuuya..." Dazai started as he pushed himself up from the ground and locked eyes with his partner, "let's rethink this, alright? I'm sure you don't want to die–"

"Yeah well, what if I do."

Now it was Dazai's turn for his own heart to stutter in his chest, fingers twitching minutely against the trigger as he studied every change of Chuuya's emotions. He watched how his eyebrows furrowed in rage, then relaxing as a tear would fall from his eye. He took note of every single feeling that would flash across his face: the anger, the fear, the sadness– every one of them.

"Osamu, don't you understand?" Chuuya choked, groaning from how weak he must've looked as he began to cry again. "Seeing you trying to kill yourself every fucking day is tiring and to be quite honest, it makes me feel like I'm not enough to you if you still don't believe in the 'act of living' or whatever the fuck nonsense you always blabber on about."

Click.

Dazai handed the gun over after having suddenly pointed the muzzle and dug it into his curly brunet locks, his hair frizzing up in the one spot.

Chuuya smirked, sadness overruling the snarky tone as he took the revolver from Dazai and pointed it to his own head. Without a single stutter of his heart, he pressed on the trigger.

Click.

He handed it over.

Click.

Then again.

Click.

"There's only two chambers left, Dazai... one will go off– it's either me or you."

Dazai nodded, handing the gun back over to Chuuya delicately, the ginger taking hold of it and smiling down at it. This time he raised his head, resting the muzzle of the revolver underneath his chin with the most sadistic, manic, grin Dazai has ever seen apart from him mid-Corruption.

"Goodbye."

Everything went in a flash– there was a single click and then an ear-splitting bang sounding the living room. 

"CHUUYA–"

The ginger dropped to the ground, the revolver clanking to the carpet and sliding to the tiled-kitchen floor. Dazai rushed to his side, dropping on his knees shakily as he brought his hands to Chuuya's face and turning the man's body to face himself. 

"Fu-fuck... I-I'm so sorr-sorry–" Chuuya sobbed, eyes blown wide open in utter shock as his lips began to quiver.

"Don't apologize, please..." Dazai spluttered out, arms flying to wrap around Chuuya's trembling waist and pulling him close to his chest. "I'll never do it– I'll never try to end my life anymore just please... don't ever do that again."

Chuuya choked out a cough, gripping onto Dazai's clothed back as he dug himself into the hug and allowed salty tears to drip onto his shoulder.

"There's only an act for living if you are here living it with me."