Not Enough | Namgi

Chapter 4

Namjoon POV

Walking into the dance room with the others the next morning, I glance around at the group of us. Jin, Tae, and Hobi all look tired at this point from having to run the same routine over and over again, while Jimin and Jungkook just seem nervous. It's most likely due to the conversation that had been had over lunch yesterday, and I can't really blame them. Though, what concerns me most is Yoongi, as usual. He looks fully awake though I know he probably didn't sleep much last night, but the biggest worry is the how empty of light his eyes look anymore. They aren't their usual vibrant chestnut brown that they usually are, lacking the brightness of life and energy. The sight breaks my heart, but I know I won't be able to do anything for him after how last nights conversation went.

Mr. Song soon starts practice up though, and everything, thankfully, starts out smoothly. I don't bother trying to keep track of how many times we end up running through the dance for the song before he finally stops us and allows us to get a drink.

"It's about fucking time he woke the hell up and got his shit together." Jin mutters under his breath as we all head towards where everyone's bags are. Though, I know Yoongi heard him and I know it had been intentional for him to hear our eldest. I just clench my jaw and shake my head, hating how cruel they're all being to him. It's not good for him, especially in the state that he's in right now.

"Yoongi, are you comfortable enough with the dance now? Can we move onto the next one so that we don't get any farther behind?" Mr. Song questions from across the room. My gaze immediately snaps over to our second oldest, an almost blank look on his face as it seems to take a couple seconds for the words to process for him.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Yoongi answers, empty gaze on the floor in front of him. I flinch lightly at the cold barrenness in his voice when he speaks, and I can't stop myself as I bite my lip and walk over to him. His gaze stays locked on the floor though, taking a sip from his water bottle before he finally looks up at me. It breaks my heart further though, the blank look that his eyes hold as he watches me walk up to him.

"Yoongi, what the hell is going on? Please, I know you're not okay." I ask in a hushed whisper, not being able to hold myself back. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes, but I ignore them as I await an answer from the elder. The same thing as before happens though, almost like a delayed reaction to anyone talking to him.

"Nothing's happening, Joon. I'm perfectly fine." Yoongi answers, voice no louder than my own. I groan loudly at this as I run a hand through my hair.

"Damn it, Yoongi, I know that's not true! Why the hell can't you just be honest with me?!" I exclaim in frustration, wanting desperately to know what's gotten him all out of sorts. His expression doesn't change, though he mildly flinches from the volume of my voice. My reaction garners the attention of everyone in the room, but I can hardly bring myself to care at the moment. I'm much too focused and concerned about the boy in front of me to care about everyone else's attention right now.

"I'm fine, Joon. You really shouldn't worry so much about me." Yoongi responds quietly, an almost curious blank expression still blanketing his face. I shake my head in disbelief at this, tipping my head back a bit as I tangle my fingers into my hair in attempt to keep a grip on myself. The entire room falls silent for at least a minute as I try to control my emotions, knowing that Yoongi isn't the person to yell at.

"Yoongi, what the hell are you trying to do to yourself?" I manage to whisper out, finally bringing myself to look back down to the elder. His expression cools just the tiniest bit, a hint of a glare in his eyes as he looks up at me.

"I can take care of myself, Joon. I'm perfectly fine. Nothing is happening. There's nothing for you to worry about." Yoongi bites back, his tone much colder than his gaze. His face falls in the most subtle of ways that most would completely miss, though I don't miss it. I don't comment on it, knowing Yoongi too well for that.

"Let's get back to work!" Song calls out, though everyone's gaze stays locked on Yoongi and I. I hold Yoongi's gaze for a minute longer, wishing he would just let me in already, wishing he would tell me what the hell is going on.

"I can't help you if you don't let me, hyung. I know you too well to believe the act you put on for everyone else. I can only push you so much before you make me give up, and I don't want to do that." I murmur quietly before turning to walk away.

"Maybe it's time you gave up on me though." I faintly catch him mumble, shattering my heart all over again.