Not Enough | Namgi

Chapter 20

Namjoon POV

My heart drops at the doctors words, but the ache in my chest intensifies at Yoongi's reaction. I can see the anger and fear in his eyes as he glares at the man sat in front of us, and it just saddens me. It worries me just how much he truly believes that he doesn't belong here anymore.

"I think it's pretty obvious how he's doing mentally. What is it that you wanted to speak to us about?" I speak up quietly, gaze falling as I look over to his hand that's now pressed flat against the bed as though he's ready to get up and leave or something of the sort. I earn a glare of my own from Yoongi at my agreement, but I just avert my gaze back to the doctor in front of us.

"I'm not sure that it's a good idea to be releasing him completely. We can transfer him to a nearby mental hospital where he would be able to get the proper treatment that he needs, but I don't think clearing him to release him for going home or anything of the sort is really the best option right now. With his refusal to speak or cooperate in any sort of way and having tried to overdose last night, I think it's the safest option for him." Lim explains, looking mainly at me but glancing over at Yoongi a few times as he speaks.

I immediately grow mixed feelings at the idea of sending him to a mental hospital, not as certain that it's as good of an idea for him as what Lim seems to think it is.

Biting my lip, I turn my head to look back over at Yoongi, hoping to find some sort of reaction to all of this. Though, I manage to catch it as his glare fades fast, giving way to an almost lost and defeated expression. I can see the tinges of sadness in his eyes, facial expression nearly falling as he averts his gaze over to me once more. The sight hurts though. He just looks like he's given up. There's no threats in his gaze this time, no hatred or coldness lacing his expression. I can spot the tiniest hints of what I can only make out to be fear in his tired eyes as he gazes at me, and it seems like the perfect expression that should be matched with tears that aren't anywhere in sight. He's just waiting and watching for me to give the okay.

"Is that his only option right now?" I ask softly, dragging my gaze away from the elder boy on the bed with me and back to the doctor. He frowns at my question, sighing.

"It's not but it's his best and safest one right now. If you're not comfortable with sending him to the mental hospital, I can prescribe him antidepressants that he would've been receiving at the other location and I would recommend him to a therapist so that he could get the treatment that he needs. He'd get better around the clock treatment at the hospital though and it'd be a safer environment for him than releasing him to go home though. He needs to get off the drugs and needs a lot more sleep and food than what he's been getting." He informs us with a small frown.

I sigh at our options, running a hand over my face. I hate that I'm the one that has to make these decisions, but nobody else would understand as well as I do.

"Do we have some time to think these options over?" I ask as I withhold another sigh. He nods at this.

"The earliest I'd be releasing him would be tomorrow morning if that's the route you choose to take. I'll be back later to check on him." Lim answers before standing and walking out.

The boys don't come back in when he finally exits, leaving the room to plunge back into silence. I groan roughly though, rubbing both hands over my face as I try to sort through all of this.

"I'm not gonna force you to take me home, Joon. It's entirely your call as to what you want to do with me." Yoongi whispers quietly, tone sounding just as defeated as his expression had. I roll my eyes at his wording, knowing what he'd meant but not being able to help myself from taking the opportunity.

"What I'd like to do with you, is fucking date you and love you without you fighting me, hyung. You refuse to accept that I could actually feel the same way though." I tell him bitterly as I look over to him. His gaze falls as he turns his head away from me, proving my point.

"You know what I meant." Yoongi mutters in a sweet pouty tone. I exhale softly at this, shaking my head at him.

"I do, and I know if we send you to the mental hospital that you're never going to come back. Hyung, I know you. I know you're only going to feel more defeated than what you already do if we send you there. They may give you the help that Lim believes you need, and I do think you need to get back on your antidepressant pills and that you need to start seeing a therapist, but ultimately it'll only harm you. I know how you think, I know how you would view it. I just don't know how the hell I'm supposed to bring you home or reason with the others to bring you home when we can only control you so much. Yoongi, you fucking brought drugs into the house without any of us even realizing it. I... I don't know. I need to talk with the others right now."