Not Enough | Namgi

Chapter 7

Yoongi POV

Walking around the corner of the alley, I'm relieved when I find the man I'm looking for stood there waiting for me. He gives me a warm smile when he spots me, watching as I walk over to him.

"It's been a long time, Min. You look good." He greets with a smile when I finally reach him. I roll my eyes but smile at him, shaking my head.

"It has been a long time, Woosang." I respond softly. He doesn't bother saying anything else, slipping the bag off his shoulders before unzipping it. He looks up at me with a smile, that familiar glint in his eyes that he's always had every time we meet.

"Alright, it's all in here, babe. Two bottles of Valium, two bottles of Adderall, two bags of weed, two cartons of cigarettes, and three vials of coke. I tossed an extra in there for you, I remember how much you used to love it. And then, there's three different drinks in here for you. You should be set for a few weeks, Min." Woosang informs me, pulling each piece out as he mentions them before zipping the bag back up and handing the bag over.

"Thank you so much, hyung. I really appreciate you coming all the way up here for this." I tell him softly as I take it from him. He just smiles and nods, watching as I toss the bag on my shoulder.

With that, we go our separate ways and I begin to walk back to the house where all of the boys should be asleep. Though, as I walk as I begin thinking over the items I have in the bag on my back, wondering just how long exactly it'll take me to go through it all. I know I'm definitely excited to get started though, knowing I'll probably end up going through the Valium quicker than anything else.

Though, when I finally get back to the house, I can't help but look towards the hallway where the bedrooms are located. Look towards the hall that I know Namjoon is down.

Biting my lower lip as a mild bit of guilt begins to set in, I sigh quietly to myself. I quickly go over to my studio on the opposite side of the open floor planned living room, dropping my bag down on my couch before exiting the room once more and making my way towards the younger's room. I can feel the guilt beginning to build as I near his room, knowing he certainly wouldn't want to be with me if I relapsed. Though, it's not like he'd know it's a relapse anyways...

Shaking the thought from my head, I walk over to his door. Though, as I hear muffled voices from inside the room, I freeze with my hand on the doorknob. Taking a deep breath, I lean closer to the door in attempt to hear the conversation, my heart sinks.

"Because you're an amazing person, Namjoon. You're incredibly smart and talented and kind and beautiful and helpful and everything that anyone could possibly want."

My eyes widen as I quickly step back from the door, recognizing Jimin's voice with ease. My heart drops considerably at his words, words that are probably part of his confession to Joon.

Of course... Of course they would end up together. Jimin and Namjoon are extremely close, they're probably closer than Joon and I are anymore. It's no wonder either. Of course they would fall for each other.

I'm... I'm too late.

Taking a shaky breath, I shake my head and turn away from the door, heading back down the way I'd just came. My vision blurs from the tears building up in my eyes, but I ignore them as I walk back to the room that holds all of my old demons, demons more than what I'd just gotten from Woosang too.

Shutting the door behind me, I end up leaning back against it as my tears begin falling. I let out a few quiet sobs before forcefully pushing myself off the door and walking over to my couch. Sitting down on the furniture, I quickly open up the bag and begin rooting through it for a couple different items. Pulling out one of the bottles of Valium and a bottle of soju, I let out another quiet sob. I don't hesitate in cracking both bottles open, tapping out four pills before knocking them back with some of the soju.

I force myself to take a few deep breaths, not needing to add an anxiety attack on top of everything else. I soon feel the funny feeling of my body relaxing, everything soon turning to a peaceful feeling of nothingness. I let out a sigh at the feeling, forcing myself up onto my feet and grabbing the soju bottle before making my way over to my desk.

Sitting down at my desk, I take another deep breath before pulling my work up.

Maybe it is time I finally took matters into my own hand. I'm clearly getting in everyone's way anymore and I'm not really needed here anymore. I'm sure Jin hyung and Hobi and Tae would all be happy if I were gone. I wouldn't be holding the band back any longer and I wouldn't be there he keep fucking up the dances anymore. Namjoon wouldn't have to worry about me any longer either, and I'd be out of Jimin's way so that the two of them could be perfectly happy together without me being in more pain than what I'm already in...

Maybe it is time... I just need to finish the songs up first. Then I won't be an inconvenience to anyone if I left...