I didn't mean to hurt you

Chapter 3

Lena's pov
(At Lcorp)

My plan was perfect.

Step number 1: Ignore every phone call

Step number 2: Keep yourself busy with work

Step number 3: Don't think and don't feel

Simple, isn't it?

But I forgot to ad Kara to this plan.
It's Wednesday, which means I spent the whole week here. I haven't go outside since last week. I've slept on my couch ate some food which was sent to me by Jess.

I lift my eyes up as I hear a very similar shoes stepping into my office.

'Lee, where have you been?' she asks me

'What do you mean? I was here since...' I start to explain the situation

'Yeah, that's right since a week now.' She is worried about me? Or is she only mad because I didn't pic up any of her calls? 'And also my question was pointing at the fact that you've shut me out completely'

HELL YEAH I DID THAT

'I thought you've forgive me but now I feel like we're strangers with no connection at all. After 3 years you're acting like our rela.. friendship never existed to you. You've called me your best friend...I thought it must've meant something to you but I guess I was wrong.' I single tear makes it's way down on her beautiful face. 'You want to push me away? That's fine, I guess, not like I could do anything about it but at least have gut to tell me in the eyes that you want me out of your life' I'm so angry right now. She has no idea what am I feeling, she has no rights to say that to me.

'Are you done?' I ask her calmly

'Lena you have no idea how done I'm' it's strange hear that name from her mouth, she hasn't call me like that for ages.

With that she left

That's when I realize how badly I fucked it up.

That's my way of processing bad situation and news. I push everyone away.

I guess I can't accept myself because nobody did that before. I didn't learn how to do that.

I'm scared.

And I lost my only chance to be happy and loved at once.

I have to go. I don't know where or what to do I just know I have to leave this office and get so drunk that I would forget my own name.

I'm walking on some dark street all alone after a couple of drinks  I see her shadow on the ground. My mind know that I should ignore it but my heart can't do it.

'I know you're up there'  I shout at her
'I wanted to....wait are you drunk?' she asks

'Does it matter?' I almost fall so I had to stop for a moment

'Let me bring you home' she offer her help for me

'I don't have a home' I feel my mouth is talking but I really have no idea what I'm saying

''What do you mean by you have no home?'

'I lost her today...she said she had had enough of me and want to leave me forever, so now I don't have a home or a safe place....I'm homeless Kara'

'Aww Lee that's sweet....even if you won't remember it tomorrow' she says 'here I'll bring you home. Do you trust me? ' she offers her hand for me.

I don't know why but I accept it. It must be the effect of the 7 tequila and the 5 whisky I just had. I don't know why but suddenly I feel safe even if I know I will regret it later.