External (Book 1&2)

Book 2|Chapter 13

|Nature Walks|

My earliest memory is playing skyball with my father. A game where you throw the ball through a hoop near the ceiling. I could never do it of course, it was far too high. Only three people had ever actually done it. Their names were written on a wall, a hall of fame of sorts. But even though I knew the impossibility of it, I still was determined to get it done. I wanted to get my name on the wall and as far as I knew at my young age, I needed to.

We didn't even get anything if we did happen to make it through the hoop. No prize, points, nothing like that. Just bragging rights for about a week before no one cares anymore. But still, it didn't matter to me. It was an aspiration that my father and I shared, even if it was mostly one sided, it was ours.

At the time of this memory, it seemed like their was no problems in the entire world and every day was its own adventure. My eyes were covered in rose tinted glasses, but hey, it was a time when my father wasn't sick and I wasn't thrown out onto the surface at least. When Daniel and Jacob weren't dead. Even if I didn't know Jacob at the time, he was alive living his childhood out on the seventh floor.

When I wasn't lying on the forest floor with the fear of dying always present in my mind.

This memory sparks inside of me as soon as I catch sight of the little notebook. It is pulled from the depth of my mind and for a split second, I see the healthy and young version of my father clearly.

And even though that memory disappeared again into a fuzzy mess, I'm not upset because I have his journal again, which is more then enough.

I thought it was gone forever. I really did. The second I saw the cabin burning in the way it did, I had a feeling. But I was wrong and I've never been more glad for that.

His journal is the last thing I have of his. The very last thing.

And not only do I now have his journal, I have my photo too. I can look at my family again which is such a luxury for me. I don't even know if Marcus knows what he's done for me. I just hope that I can repay him in someway one day.

I take the notebook from his hands and say thank you.

"I mean it, thank you." I say again, repeating myself so he understands my sincerity.

"Glad it means something to you." He says before leaning back against a tree in exhaustion.

My fingers brush over the ringed spine of the notebook as I make my way back to my spot near Kevin. My mind has built up a lot of anticipation towards what my fathers final words could possibly be. But with anticipation also came dread and as happy as I am now to have the choice, dread is slowly creeping in. With all of these emotions built up, will his words be enough to fill the emptiness of his previous presence? Will it fulfill me? Will I feel content with what I read?

"Aleja, do you want to go hunting?" It's Cayden who brings me out of my own head. Hunting would be nice. We have the time now that we are stagnant for the rest of the day. Plus eating a real meal is something I've been missing.

"Yeah, okay." I respond, placing the journal inside of my bag. I make sure to bring my bag with me, not wanting a reoccurrence of my earlier problem. I can wait to read it too, I've waited this long already, a couple hours won't hurt.