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~and i hit something hard, but not that hard so it hurts, more like i accidentally leaned on someone...



that's when i realized, i have fell asleep on alex's shoulder. but it was too late to move.







i wake up, and realize what happened yesterday night. and as i try to stand up, something was pulling me down. i turned around, and saw alex in a half-sleep. honestly, he was so cute. with his messy hair falling down to his face, to even his beanie almost falling off. i was in his arms, on the couch. i couldn't see whether ani and henry woke up already, but thank god it was saturday, so i didn't need to worry about going to school, i also had everything finished. i just couldn't wake him up.

believe it or not, i fell asleep, again. but this time, ani and henry woke us up. of course, they had to tease about what they saw. not like i could get out of that situation anyways.
"time to wake up you 2 lovebirds!" i say, rubbing my eyes, and alex doing so too not even a second after me.
"wh- oh." i say, obviously seeing what position i was in.
"right." alex mumbled quietly, but it was loud enough for me to hear it.
"we made breakfast, get ready and let's go eat." henry said, emphasizing the 'we'.
i jumped right up and went to the toilet doing what i needed to do. i got quickly ready, in which i mean i peed and washed my face. anyways, i came down the stairs, and saw that they were putting breakfast on the table. great timing, am i right? so, i sit down next to ani, while alex sat next to henry. there was an awkward silence, but then there was me breaking it, finishing the breakfast barely.
"thank you all so much for yesterday, i enjoyed it here. sorry for falling asleep also..." i say, quieting down every word spoken. and not even 5 minutes later, leaving.

it was pretty awkward after the 'incident' as you may call it. it's not about me being uncomfortable, since i was okay with it, it was how alex felt at the end of the day. i should really stop overthinking it... right? yeah okay. fine, i will stop.

i got on my motorcycle, and put on my helmet, driving away. i stopped thinking about it, which is something i always did when i was in my old school. i got bullied in my last school, that's why i transferred. it was really hard for me to even wake up in the morning. but that's all in the past. something that always reminds me of that is the bruises i still have, which are there for over a month now. i don't know why it's not going away, but one of the things i also see are the cuts.

don't get me wrong, i'm not suicidal, i don't self-harm anymore. i used to, for a very short time, when it was really hard. i stopped after the time was really hard though. but that's one of the reasons i try to avoid short sleeves, because people might think weird of me. not that i care, but i just wanted to potray a good self-image on social medias at least. 

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 29, 2019 ⏰

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